Naya rownan
- Date posted
- 2y
Mooooni Mooooni
- Date posted
- 2y
The more compulsions you do, the worse it gets. Try erp in small steps. One day one step, one exposure. Doing it allows you to remind your memory and keep it intact
Naya rownanNaya rownan
- Date posted
- 2y
Oh thank you so much but do you any idea how can i do erp in this case of false memory?
Mooooni Mooooni
- Date posted
- 2y
@Naya rownan It all depends what your compulsions are. But regardless, maybe do an action where you might get false memory and avoid checking. I have false memory too. I had to face it head on and trust me you have to throw yourself in not checking. It only helps your memory
Michael_99Michael_99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Unfortunately with OCD we seek something that can ease our anxiety but with False Memory OCD there is nothing we can really do but to resist our compulsions. We all know by having OCD we avoid morally comparable situations so a false memory where we are doing something wrong is probably an intrusive thought
Mooooni Mooooni
- Date posted
- 2y
@Michael_99 I literally had a false memory experience right now. I’m at a salsa club and I danced with someone I knew from back in the day. I don’t know but he grabbed my face and I thought he was going to kiss me so I backed up and confronted him and he said he was only trying to get my face close to do a dance move. I didn’t really believe it. I am sitting here feeling stupid guilty because I am seeing someone even though we’re not together. It’s an issue I have sometimes when I really like someone. Like especially now with ocd. I have hesitated going out and such because I don’t care to meet men or even engage because I want to show this guy how much I like him which is silly. I can still live life and I should remember I have control of myself only. But now since he tried whatever that was.. now in my head I’m thinking should I tell this guy I’m seeing. The rumination and guilt has been killing me Me and this guy also had a rough week. He found a condom at my place from the guy I was seeing two weeks before I met him. He confronted me so I feel like maybe I should’ve gone out but I also have to live my life This has been a kick in my face as I’m facing the worst ocd rumination rituals but maybe this is good so I can practice erp or whatever. At least how I’m looking at it
Michael_99Michael_99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@Monitica I see that based on what I am hearing that the environment was triggering. If the presence of the guy dancing on you was the overwhelming take a breather. It’s common to compile our anxieties on top of one another especially with OCD, our false memories can overlap our relationships so it’s tough, you got this fight the compulsions!
Mooooni Mooooni
- Date posted
- 2y
@Michael_99 Yeah it was very triggering. My false memories are intense and based on fear of doing something sexual with someone. It’s almost a fear of blacking out. My fears are based around hurting others or doing some thing that is going to destroy a relationship or anything in those sorts. May I ask what fears you have around false memory? Also, I really appreciate your words.
Michael_99Michael_99
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Yea that’s actually been a common theme throughout young adulthood when I was teenager and in college when ever I drank I immediately asked the question did I do anything that made anyone uncomfortable. Even just in public sober walking by people I question did I don anything bad? Yea a lot of it is sexual harm. I think based off what us humans experience there is sexual experiences that influence our obsessions
Mooooni Mooooni
- Date posted
- 2y
@Michael_99 You put a good perspective there. I wonder where it comes from but it’s probably our fears jumping from one thing to the other that we truly truly care about. It’s been so hard this week. I felt like I was drowning. Ruminating on how he thinks of me and always focused on the other person and not myself sometimes and being real like, what he feels is not my responsibility. I said the truth and I’m a good person. So yeah it’s always about the fear of hurting others by my actions. I’m sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. I really want to heal
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- Date posted
- 5w
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I basically can’t stop thinking about the false memories and I’ve been thinking about them non-stop since I’ve woken up today. I keep picturing the images / the false memory and I focus and fixate on the images and they feel so so real and realistic and when I think of them I get a feeling of “clarity” and a genuine sense of knowing and belief that deep down I know these memories are true and have happened and that I’m just in denial and lying to myself and you by saying that they’re false memories when in actuality I know they’re real which is also really frustrating and makes me feel uncomfortable. On top of that as I’m writing this message my stomach won’t stop turning and it really hurts and I just want to cry and my brain says that I’m experiencing these physical feelings because I know I am lying and just in denial and that these physical symptoms are proof that I am lying and just in denial and I just don’t know what to do or how to calm down. I really don’t want these memories to be true and I want them to be false more than anything in the world and I am not lying when I say I don’t know whether or not they’re real and I’m not lying or pretending they’re false memories but the more I say that to myself the more it feels like a lie and I’m just terrified at the thought and idea of them being even 1% true because why wouldn’t they be? Is it really possible to fabricate entire memories or doing sexual things to and with another person that are that detailed and realistic :/ My brain says things will only get better once I admit to the false memories and stop lying to myself and stop being in denial and stop using false memory ocd as an excuse and just admit to them because I know deep down I have done them and that they’re true which is why I feel a deep sense of clarity about them and that I am just continuing to lie to myself, to my girlfriend, to my therapist and to my family when I say I don’t know whether I have done anything sexual to or with this person because deep down I know I have I just don’t want to admit it so I’m continuing to be in this heavy state and cycle of denial because I don’t want to accept what I have done. I just want this to end. I just want confirmation that I have never done anything sexual to or with this person and that these memories are entirely fabricated by my ocd and have no basis in reality but I don’t even think that’s possible. I’m so done.
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