Helll

I’m not diagnosed with ocd but I feel like I might because I relate to a lot of the relationship posts on here I know I love my boyfriend and I know I can trust him but I get so anxious for no reason I have his location and I can go through his phone without a problem but I get so anxious about being cheated on or him leaving me and it makes me feel like a bad person because I trust him but it feels like something else is telling me like he’s doing something but I have no reason to think that and again I have his location we work at the same place and I’m with him whenever he has off so I don’t get why I do this but it feels like obsession like I stress about upsetting him because I get anxious about upsetting him because it feels like he’s gonna leave me if I do anything to upset him and he’s never done anything to make me feel like this so I don’t get why I overthink like this

I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.