I cough myself acting or saying certain things to get my boyfriend break up with me, since I don't wanna do it myself when I get break up urges... Does anyone do the same... what did u do in your experience?
I do the same. Self sabotage is one of my bad habits. Sometimes I still do want to be with that person but it's just my brain messing with it and I've ruined many relationships lol...I feel you
@♡jasper☆ This is exactly what I jus did and i regretted it but it was already too late
I don't know what to do to stop this... he understands my situation but still I can't help but feel like he deserves better.
@mobina I’m so sorry to hear:( I felt a bit guilty in a way like I was putting burden on him so I tried self sabotaging it but also in a sense trying to gain reassurance from my compulsiveness . For example If I had an uncertainty about a slight detail in our relationship , I would go straight to an impulsive state that made me look toxic but it was my way of coping with uncertainty thus blocking him over and over to reassure he still validates my worth and wanted to see if he has any moral standards for us , but it resulting in us breaking up. He refuses to wanna talk to me . I opened up to him bout my ocd couple days ago :( I don’t blame him for not wanting to speak to me after the gaslighting I put him thru jus to be an excuse to end it myself :( I would degrade him on his way of being a bf , making it seem like he was the bad guy when this entire time it was me and my ocd being the bad guys .
@Brian :) I thought about doing all the things you did, but still holding back on doing anything extreme whenever I get the urge... he complains to me whenever we argue that I try to paint him as a bad guy in every conversation... The last part of your comment hits too close to the home for me :(...
@mobina 🥺🥺🥺