- Date posted
- 2y ago
I'm Toxic
I cough myself acting or saying certain things to get my boyfriend break up with me, since I don't wanna do it myself when I get break up urges... Does anyone do the same... what did u do in your experience?
I cough myself acting or saying certain things to get my boyfriend break up with me, since I don't wanna do it myself when I get break up urges... Does anyone do the same... what did u do in your experience?
I do the same. Self sabotage is one of my bad habits. Sometimes I still do want to be with that person but it's just my brain messing with it and I've ruined many relationships lol...I feel you
@♡jasper☆ This is exactly what I jus did and i regretted it but it was already too late
I don't know what to do to stop this... he understands my situation but still I can't help but feel like he deserves better.
@mobina I’m so sorry to hear:( I felt a bit guilty in a way like I was putting burden on him so I tried self sabotaging it but also in a sense trying to gain reassurance from my compulsiveness . For example If I had an uncertainty about a slight detail in our relationship , I would go straight to an impulsive state that made me look toxic but it was my way of coping with uncertainty thus blocking him over and over to reassure he still validates my worth and wanted to see if he has any moral standards for us , but it resulting in us breaking up. He refuses to wanna talk to me . I opened up to him bout my ocd couple days ago :( I don’t blame him for not wanting to speak to me after the gaslighting I put him thru jus to be an excuse to end it myself :( I would degrade him on his way of being a bf , making it seem like he was the bad guy when this entire time it was me and my ocd being the bad guys .
@Brian :) I thought about doing all the things you did, but still holding back on doing anything extreme whenever I get the urge... he complains to me whenever we argue that I try to paint him as a bad guy in every conversation... The last part of your comment hits too close to the home for me :(...
@mobina 🥺🥺🥺
i couldn't take this anymore. maybe i'll just let ocd win this time. it's too hard to not have a clear conscience everytime i'm with my bf cuz my mind is telling me i'm unfaithful and don't deserve to be happy. i feel like i'll never get better anymore. i already told myself many times to stop attracting attention from other people especially to people i'm having false attraction to. but i did it again yesterday, right after i smiled a little extra in front of that girl i might be attracted to i could feel the massive anxiety in my chest. already decided last week that i might be actually attracted to her so it's best to fully avoid her. i avoided her with the best i could, but we're in the same classroom and i saw her in my peripheral vision looking at us (my bf and i) whispered to myself not to make any mistake i'll regret, but then i felt like i lose control and laugh a little extra. i searched micro cheating and it says there "trying to impress someone you're attracted to" and now i want to break up with my bf. the guilt is too strong. i couldn't sleep at night.
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond