rocd please help :(

for the past couple weeks i’ve been really struggling with relationship OCD. lately i’ve been picking apart my partner and feeling like his actions are not “masculine” to my liking. this was all triggered by him going to get a pedicure/ foot massage after he had some anxiety attack. now things he does that can be deemed as effeminate continue to be filed into my brain. i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being that way it’s just all of a sudden i started feeling like i need a more masculine man to balance out my personality. i feel devastated because when we’re together it’s warm and i think he’s my soul mate and we have such a deep connection. but i constantly keep finding things that are giving me the ick lately and i can’t stop thinking about it. my brain just doesn’t want me to be happy even just a few months ago i was experiencing HOCD and i convinced myself i wasn’t straight. i need some advice desperately because i don’t want to feel disconnected from someone who i love.