- Date posted
- 2y
SO OCD QUESTION
How deep are you into this theme? What does it feel like for you?
How deep are you into this theme? What does it feel like for you?
It feels like I’m only using this theme as a cover up to look at men or I keep getting the thought of “let’s look at hot guys now and we can regret it later, cause it’s just ocd right ?” Hate this with a passion
Feels like I just keep saying I have OCD not to deal with the real atracttion that I have to dudes (Like I had OCD about being gay, bi or anything that can be into the same sex)
I’m in my 20’s and I’ve had this theme off and on since I was 13.. one of the main themes. definitely a tough one. Ocd is Chronic but can get better. Stay true to yourself and remember your values
Man, I also had it since 13, I though I was the only one that had it that young, actually my OCD uses as evidence that I was discovering myself or something
@Anonymous Like the only thing it feels like now is that you have these attractions and you just have to come out now
@Anonymous - Yeah, pretty much like that
@Perzibal Do you have a therapist?
@Anonymous Do you have a therapist or have done erp?
@Anonymous415 Yes I already did one session but have been trying to do erp on my own. Just been thinking about coming out as bi or something, for some reason it feels like a relief or that I like it and want to as in it makes me happy. Which makes me think this might not even be ocd
@Anonymous Ocd loves to tell lies.. it’s goal is to make it feel real.. remember that. But If it’s not intrusive or makes you happy though, that’s different definitely do that if it makes you happy
@Anonymous415 Honestly I don’t even know bro. I can feel like this and then the next day the obsessions just come again. Makes no sense to me
@Anonymous Classic ocd bro. It comes and goes and comes in waves. Unfortunately ocd is chronic l.. no cure but can Learn how to live with it
@Anonymous415 Also if it was denial wouldn’t I be able to push these thoughts aside and not have an obsession about it? Or test every guy for arousal and attraction ?
@Anonymous There’s a big difference between denial and soocd. NOCD actually has a blog post about it! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-so-ocd-hocd-just-denial-sexual-orientation-ocd
@Anonymous I did that, once I came out as bi, felt relief, didnt last, I end up on The same place I was before, and now I fear I'm truly bi
@Anonymous415 I mean there are differences, but to be honest, at the beggining I had all the listed OCD symtopms, now it just feels like denial, cause I don't have the distress I use to have, and the whole "deep down" you know, doesn't mean anything to me anymore
@Perzibal I feel you bro. I really do. In the beginning it was very different but now I truly don’t even know anymore. I guess I just want the obsessions to stop. Stop the constant checking of every guy to see if I find any attraction and the constant unwanted arousal. Or actually have friends without feeling like I’m developing feelings for them.
@Anonymous That's why I came out lol, like in My head I was going to admit being into dudes so I stop feeling like I was or do the thoughs about being into them stoped which a little contradictory if you think about it
@Perzibal Exactly bro. I don’t understand any of it
@Anonymous It feels like denial for me at this point cause I feel like I'm not scared enough or that It's just being to long like this for it to be OCD
@Perzibal Yea me too bro. Sometimes I think about same sex scenarios and it feels like I could like it or enjoy it and then sometimes I think I definitely could not do that
@Anonymous Same
@Perzibal You are not your thoughts bro. Are you Diagnosed with ocd
@Perzibal Also try living in uncertainty. If you know you are straight. You came out as bi cuz of the thoughts and u still get them, if u came out as gay you probably will still get them as well. Ocd is the doubting disorder. Lean forwards your values and sit in it. Look into Zach wedterbeck, and Shaun Flores. They have this theme and are both striving. Zach is married and has a wife and still lives with these theme. Keep going. Stay strong
@Anonymous415 Not really, I got diagnozed with anxiety disorder with obssesive tendencies
Exactly
Put in denial enjoy these thoughts and aren’t worried. They are actively doing that on purpose
@Anonymous415 *people
Why is it that you beat one OCD think, but another OCD thing comes up related to it, but the same theme?
These are some of my experiences with some theatrical flare to better depict how it feels. I decided to share this because when I saw this community I suddenly felt less alone in more human. Lovecraftian door Lurker: I don’t know the subtypes so I’ll just be talking about my relationship with OCD. OCD! that lonely woman in the ocean singing your praise's, sure she’ll love you forever! Of course she isn’t a siren planning on dragging you to the depths and tearing you to shreds. OCD! that haunting whisper in the wind calling you to fly! fly! OCD! that Lovecraftian abomination chanting at you from behind a locked door. Banging demanding you bow to it’s will. For me it latches on to my trauma and PTSD circling them like some demented teacup ride. A daily occurance for me is recalling the day I died when I was like 6 i remeber each detail of the day the kids i met the activtes we particapated in, the heat. The height of the slide before i plummeted to my death. This day consumes my life. “Thud thud!” I ask my parents about it often they tell me it never happened i tell them they weren’t there. Each time they lie and say I’ve never told them. My boyfriend whom I’ve been with for three years hears the story offten and often deals with me asking him if he’s seen me ask my parents. “Thud Thud” Each time he says yes and I asked how they responded “like you’ve never told them.” I constantly become afraid that my boyfreind will drown because he can’t swim. “Thud! Thud!” and because he can’t swim that the car will go off the road into some body of water and he will die. ”Thud! Thud!” I feel the water filling my lungs turning them into fire, the fear of reaching out my hands with no aid. “THUD! THUD! And he will die alone too and there’s nothing you can do to stop it! THUD THUD!” I scream that same fire fueling my rage my tears running down my face like gasoline igniting the thought spiral further burning deeper into my self hatred. I scream again banging my hands on my head. Wish and hoping it will shut up the thoughts.“why? Why?! WHY!” Sobbing until I’m nothing but a puddle. . . Ya know a few months ago I was depressed the thoughts became too much, so I wanted to get high. I thought it would make them stop “Thud! Thud!” So I took a gummy it was unpackage, from a friend of a friend so now the word dog, in reference to a person is a permit part of my vocabulary. And I have memories from being in a comma because it turned out to be DMT and my 6 hour trip end up feeling like 6 months of HELL. The ocd thoughts that i usually see, in a flash became so real that i just cried for hour terrified i was stabbing my eyes out dead and this was my purgatory for leaving the church. ”Thud! THUD!” I stopped using my favorite water bottle after that. Before the incident The bottle up against the wall with the straw to the side of the wall because the thought that would repeat in my head would be that because of my clumsiness I would trip and fall onto the straw and it would stab my eye out and kill me. I had this thought often I kept look up what to do if you accidently get something stab/stuck in your eye. “Thud! Thud!”
Not sure if this is OCD or ADHD or both, but sometimes I get really stuck on a topic to the point that it's obsessive and somewhat debilitating but still fun. Does anyone else get caught up on random topics (in a slightly unhealthy way)? This part of my mental health issues is one I don't mind as it has contributed a lot of joy to me through different fandoms and groups in my life. Just curious what obsessions (positive) you guys have and if you consider it a blessing, a curse or a blerse lol
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