Scabies Scare

Hello, first time posting here. Does anyone else suffer from bad health anxiety? Due to stress mine has gotten pretty bad recently and for a week now I've been REALLY scared of skin cancer to the point I have difficulties sleeping and I worry all the time. Logically, I've had my moles all my life and most of them are very small and round and I don't think the bigger "weirder" looking ones have changed at all (ofc, my brain keeps telling me to check them constantly and looking at them makes me imagine things and causes anxiety). I also keep imagining I'm finding "new" small ones all the time (probably just haven't noticed them before bc they are so tiny, light brown and I haven't been checking myself like this before..). This is just really frustrating for me and is causing distress. If anyone else has experienced similar worry, do you have any tips to calm down or force yourself to stop searching your skin for marks and spots? This new obsession is driving me crazy, and makes me feel really foolish, but the feelings are real and scary!

My ocd recently latched onto the idea that I may have herpes, all the signs aren’t there but then again reading about it they don’t have to be. So I’m constantly checking my body, finding a new spot to hyperfixate on and then freaking out. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years so it’s confusing for me to even have it, and have these issues now but they’re so debilitating. I even spiraled a couple weeks ago, and had to have some medical workers look at it, they said it was fine I even had a friend who had herpes look at it (with gloves) and I’m still freaking out and focusing on something else on my skin. I’ve been shaving more lately so I’ve been having razor bumps and now it’s really bothering me. I also heard that blood tests aren’t recommended or accurate So I’m not sure what to do, ERP Wise It just keeps going back to the chance that I do have it and could be spreading it and not knowing.

Sigh... I was filling up the keurig to make a tea when suddenly brain goes, "did I forget to wash my hands after going to the washroom last?" Like. Really, brain? YOU are the one making me wash up my forearm every time. YOU are the one making me wash my hands again after doing that exact thing, for fear that the arm recontaminates them. Would I, someone who's been desperately afraid of contaminating others with my bathroom germs since late November (ish) of last year, EVER forget to do something like THAT? I smelled my hands. Scent of the particular soap in my washroom was there. Went up to investigate: the bottom of the sink was wet, and there were "fresh" drips on the countertop. (I recorded this in my journal near the time but I KNOW the doubt will resurface later) I made and drank my tea anyway. Sat with the anxiety for awhile... ended up giving into washing the keurig reservoir and my mug in the sink, lysol wiping a number of other things... I know. It's so far out of character for me to "forget" to do that it is completely absurd. Thing is, I wash my hands up there so frequently that I cannot pick out the specific memory and brain is going to TOWN with that. It's freaking about my clothes being contaminated now... I am not changing. I will wear my robe again. I'm throwing the rest of my coins into the "I did the thing shut up brain" fountain and leaving whatever else it comes up with to "fate". It feels... really horrible, like I'm deliberately inviting my mother's death/illness from contamination of kitchen stuff, but... I also, despite what I've already given into, don't really believe this thought. Yes, it's scary if true, but... it came out of nowhere. Do intrusive thoughts come in this colour too? Daily, I get them with the "did I step in/touch/etc. this nasty thing?" shade, which usually leads to arguing with my brain and other no-nos of anxiety... hm. I feel like I am treading into dangerous territory. Not necessarily that my decision will create what I fear, but if I am doubting memories of doing important washing... will this throw me into a deeper pit, if I cannot even be certain of the measures I take? Even the reasonable ones? Good lord. I'm getting older, but am still too young for a faulty memory like this. Thanks for reading folks. Just had to get this off my chest. I am holding onto the hope that things will be fine and that I won't end up double or triple washing in future just to cement to my fool brain that it was done at all, let alone properly...