Putting a trigger warning here just to be safe. Has anyone ever felt like OCD is just a convenient lie and that these intrusive thoughts are representative of who you are? I have those doubts every now and again, and I just can't seem to shake them. It's gotten especially bad as of late and it and real lif issues are just getting me frustrated beyond belief.
Yes I experience this for sure
At least I'm not alone.
just remember these intrusive thoughts are actually the opposite of how you feel and what you want they are your fears not desires
Sometimes I just feel like they're true. I know that's not true, but sometimes they hit constantly that it drains me emotionally.
@Anonymous I know trust me you’ll convince yourself ocd is just a cover up and ur enjoying the these thoughts but believe me if you went thru the trouble to get this app bc the thoughts r so upsetting to u they are not true. people who like these thoughts would never feel guilt or anything like that ur an amazing person i promise
@No name11 That's easy to say but hard to believe. Thanks though. Do you have any suggestions on what to do or insights into "surrendering"?
My ocd also tries to convince me that my thoughts are real. It can be really difficult sometimes but I just try to remember that i didn’t always feel this way, meaning eventually I can get back to that.
Yeah, I was like that to back in college (or at least I didn't pay them much mind back then). It was really only until a few years after I graduated that I really began to put a spotlight on intrusive thoughts.
@Anonymous Same, I feel like realizing I had ocd made it worse tbh
I think we are supposed to accept the possibility that our intrusive thoughts are true and sit with the uncertainty
Does anyone have any valuable perspective on how to deal with this? Is this where "surrendering" to OCD comes into play?
@Anonymous They wouldn’t make up the disorder in the dsm if it weren’t real. Is how I look at it but I totally have This same thought
@makeupandchinchillas I know the disorder is really and I definitely do have it, but sometimes the intrusive thoughts just make me doubt that.
I guess I'm just doubting who I really am, which is just sad.
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
I've been struggling with ocd since I was 7. I'm 18 now and it feels like the older I've gotten the worse it's gotten. I don't know how to deal with it and i feel so lost and alone. Its hard for me to even say what my intrusive thoughts are or to even fully acknowledge it to myself in my head because im scared that if i put it out in the world itll be true or if i acknowledge the thought it solidifies it and makes it true. i feel like im just over exaggerating what im feeling and im turning something that isnt there into something bigger which makes it hard to talk about it with other people. Especially because im not diagnosed but I know it's ocd but what if it isnt? What if im lying to myself or I'm just doing it to get attention and I don't realize it? I just try to deal with it on my own but it's so hard and feels impossible. I feel like ocd has contaminated every part of my life that I enjoy. The things that used to bring me comfort are now filled with things that trigger my ocd and bring me anxiety.
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
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