Hard times with SOCD & ROCD

@olivianb *SOCD

@olivianb Same! About two years ago I was admitted twice into two different hospitals both of them misdiagnosing me with suicidal ideation. It was a traumatic experience for me being there and they didn't know how to help me because I'm like...I'm not suicidal. I think was triggered my SOCD was a few years ago I came clean to my ex-fiancé about some stuff and it ignited my ocd. I began obsessing making sure I admitted all guilt, I had to be sure nothing ever would come up in the future and haunt me, that it triggered the SOCD as the thoughts of guilt and shame were so overbearing. But now my SOCD comes n goes. I have four subtypes of OCD lol, so the OCD just picks n chooses which type it wants to get me with depending on the day😅.

@The_Beevsknees Omg I’m so sorry. I know that sucks so bad. They took away all my stuff and I was like “but I’m not gonna hurt myself.” And they said “honey, you *might* not hurt yourself, but someone else in here might use your stuff to hurt you”. I was like wtf have I done lol. I totally understand. I go back and forth with different themes. So do you take a med?

@olivianb I am sorry as well it's unfortunate that we all go misdiagnosed and thrown away when all we needed was real help like NOCD. The memories suck but I was told that I don't live there anymore. That was in the past. I'm actually watching anime and they just had a scene where a character was dangling from a tree and that was a trigger for me. But my one counselor told me that, "if a thought comes up while listening to music/watching something, then a thought comes up". We then move on from it. It'd be like saying don't think of a blue elephant, of course that's what you're going to think lol. So I will ride the wave! But yes, I take anafronil and lorazepam. I tried trintellix but I didn't really notice any changes, so I stopped.

@The_Beevsknees Omg yes. I was on Facebook today and saw something about Anthony Bourdain and was immediately triggered. Those are such good points! I haven’t officially started ERP (I do tonight) but I’m looking forward to it!

@The_Beevsknees I started Zoloft a little over a week ago and am getting off of klonopin after a couple months. My anxiety is definitely rough right now lol

@olivianb You're going to love it. It's going to be scary and uncomfortable but your therapist will guide you through it every step! You can handle this! NOCD is the best place to be. I tried Zoloft in the hospital and my body didn't like it. Idk about klonopin but I'm sure I have been forced to try it. The lorazepam I feel helps my anxiety. I take one in the morning and I get through the day. I don't like "feel" anything drastic but I make it through every day so I like to think it helps lol

@The_Beevsknees I’m really looking forward to it! I feel like I’m finally where I need to be with NOCD. I used to take lorazepam! My brain does not agree at all with benzos. Zoloft can be really rough at first, but from what I hear, it gets a lot better. I used to be on low dose lexapro and loved it! I am very sensitive to meds, so I like to keep it low dose and one thing at a time lol

@olivianb I took lexapro as a kid but i don't emended if it was effective or not. Yes, I agree about feeling like you've found the place to be. That's how I felt, it's how I still feel. That's why when I fell out of NOCD because of insurance issues I was so broken because it's like NOCD is a community where we all feel understood. The card we receive from The therapist here is like no other.

@olivianb Yes I learned early on I too was speaking reassurance and even would try to find loop holes to get reassurance but we have to remember that we can handle this. We know ourselves. We have to trust ourself and know that anytime the ocd strikes, that wave of anxiety will pass. It's hard but it feels so much better after you ride our the wave and don't give into the compulsion. Because for me confessing is a big compulsion and when I did, I would feel shame and regret after. So now I remember before I give in that while it may be harder to resist but I will feel better in the end. And umm it basically comes up like flashes. I can be doing nothing and it's like being sucker punched by the SOCD. But the come up as, "what ifs,

@The_Beevsknees You shoulds, or like worst case scenarios.