This theme was caused by...

My ex therapist. She denied I had OCD, even if I obsessed over my health, being schizophrenic, my ex relationship, religion etc...she said I was just an anxious person, one day I started to obsess over being trans (but it lasted just two months, because I never liked the idea of being a guy) and I told her this thing and she started saying "maybe you do have some signs of OCD, but nothing extreme" and she told me it was definitely just an obsession created by tiktok. But then I told her then the month before I also started obsess over my sexuality a little bit because I worked with a masc lesbian and I liked her appearance, but then it went away because I realized that I liked guys more and I didn't like her sexually, just the appearance. But she started to press me into thinking more about my sexuality, it could be true, maybe I was a lesbian even if I liked guys before I still could be a lesbian etc, even if I was obsessing it didn't mean it couldn't be true etc...and it started. I couldn't stop thinking about it, I didn't go to therapy for a year because I was scared, I didn't go out anymore. Then I changed therapist, she told me it was definitely OCD and I had every sign OCD. I went to another therapist too, to see if he agreed and he told me that I had OCD without doubts. But I still think about my ex therapist. I can't stop thinking about what she said.

Sexual Orientation OCD

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Wow 😳 I’m assuming this was a talk therapist? She gave you a lot of misinformation about OCD but I’m not surprised, a lot of therapists don’t understand it. I’m sorry you went through that; I hope you’re making progress with your new therapist and are in a better place now 💗

dafne56

Date posted: 2y

Yeah she was talk therapist! I feel bettere I went to a psychiatrist today and she diagnosed me definitely with OCD.

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 2y

I really feel the part where you though "Even if I'm obssess about it, doesn't make it false

Going to fig...

Date posted: 2y

Your story sounds so much like mine… it started with trans ocd. This little boy said I kinda looked like a boy and it sent me into a spiral and then it latches on to SO-OCD and I was trying to explain to my therapist why I thought I had OCD. (Gave her a million experiences I have had since as early on as I can remember in my life) and she said she wouldn’t diagnose me bc it would have to affect my life to the point where I couldn’t function daily. Little did she know that it is a legit war zone in my mind. She also didn’t get my compulsions werent physical but more so mental. She said I had ocd traits, whatever that could mean. So I feel you on this. I’m still not diagnosed and I’m trying to see an OCD specialist. Hope you can get connected with one!

dafne56

Date posted: 2y

Also I still don't know what I felt towards that girl. I liked her appearance, I didn't like her sexually, I was kinda disgusted by the idea of having sex with her, but I still liked her in a way. This is tormenting me.

dafne56

Date posted: 2y

She denied my OCD because I don't have physical compulsions (the only thing that I do as a compulsion is praying at 3 am even if I'm not religious). I have mental compulsions only.

dafne56

Date posted: 2y

And of course I check my heartbeat, and search online and seek reassurance. But nothing "visible" from the outside

Caesarsalad

Date posted: 2y

I'm so sorry you got invalidated like that:( sadly it's very common for OCD to be misdiagnosed. That's why u should seek a therapist who is a OCD specialist. Which your ex therapist definently wasn't.

dafne56

Date posted: 2y

I've been to therapy since I was 16 and I was diagnosed only two years ago, I'm 24. So I still don't believe I have OCD, I'm scared it's only denial.

Caesarsalad

Date posted: 2y

@dafne56 A lot of people get misdiagnosed or get diagnosed late. And it's natural that your OCD is latching to that experience. OCD is the doubting disorder so it's gonna make you doubt ur diagnosis. I still doubt my diagnosis all the time.

Lost in the ...

Date posted: 23w

Lost

I cant afford therapy which is why i’m not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe i’m in denial. Idk anything anymore. I’m remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. I’m not well at all.

Sexual Orientation OCD

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 19w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

f7nn

Date posted: 18w

My current predicament

Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too

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