I’m struggling a bit right now. I have, until now, REALLY emotionally struggled and my brain is saying accepting these thoughts are a lot easier and usually I get so so upset but my brain is numb. Some of my thoughts get no real emotional response and this terrifies me as the whole convo surrounding this is “you know these thoughts aren’t real cos you’re so upset. Has anyone had this too?
This is me! I used to feel so guilty, severely anxious, and cried all the time for a whole month and now because I don’t react whatsoever I get scared. It’s very draining though for sure.
It's so emotionally and mentally exhausting, but never give up, never spiral down. I almost fell in a thought hole today but I remember, "I've been through this many times, this doesn't scare me anymore" get away thoughts.. and I calmed down.
I've been there... actually I AM there right now. All you gotta do is remember that it's just your OCD demon saying these bad things, and it's not you. You aren't your thoughts. Practice ERP techniques and try to always reduce the anxiety as much as you can, because when you're anxious your thoughts start to go bonkers
@Greg1989 My thoughts are mostly recently like “just accept this is you” “it’ll be much easier to just accept it” “you are this person”…. It’s so so so tough. Especially when my body is just emotional numb and so exhausted. And then ofc it’s like “you had this thought and had no response” … have you had times where you have really struggled to not just accept it for ease. It’s so tough, I know I’m not this person and i hate to be this person but my ocd is killing me with these thoughts.
@jojoland Oh my god this is literally what I am going through right now. You said it word for word. Just one thing to remember, you've had these thoughts a gazillion times, and everytime they worry you, the other person we fear to be our "OCD Monster" wouldn't have these thoughts. We're over analyzing everything and we've been through this, and we choose to ignore it. Eventually it will die down and the thoughts will lessen, I can't say they will ever go away, they'll come back, but we'll know and we will be stronger when they do
@Greg1989 Oh my god I just burst out crying!!!!! The relief you just gave me was insane. I know it’s a compulsion but I have been rethinking my entire self the past week as these thoughts are brand new to me! I haven’t had the emotional numbness before and so it’s scared me. I also googled something about the person who would have these thoughts in real life and i got a bad answer!!! And so that’s terrified me. I am currently in between therapists as I am an unemployed student so tried to find cheaper therapy and they were SHOCKING. But I’m having the worst worst time… it just feels so so so real, like I genuinely at times believe I am this person and its not nice :(
@jojoland One small advice I would give you, never Google anything and expect good answers! 95% of the time it will just trigger you even more and give you bad ideas and thoughts. Google answers are so overgeneralized, it cannot diagnose you whatsoever, in any shape or form. Either speak to a therapist or watch legitimate OCD YouTubers who know what they're talking about. :) best of luck, I know it's really hard right now. I'm actually getting off my antidepressants after 2 years so the thoughts are all rushing back but I am so much stronger now, it's not affecting me as much and it won't!
My boyfriend told me that he feels like he’s losing me, that I’ve changed, and that I don’t seem happy to see him anymore. I know that this should hurt me deeply, but when he said it, I didn’t feel anything. And now I’m terrified. Why didn’t I react? Why didn’t I feel instant sadness or guilt? It’s like I was emotionally blocked, like I didn’t care at all—and that thought is destroying me. What if this means I don’t love him? What if I’ve just been lying to myself and I don’t want to accept the truth? I feel so disconnected and numb. My brain keeps telling me: “If you really cared, you would feel something.” But instead, I feel nothing. And the fact that I feel nothing makes me panic even more. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to feel so much, and now it’s like I can’t access my emotions at all. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to feel like this forever. I just want to feel normal again
I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/
So I’ve noticed that since my ocd started, every time I see something that triggers me like I can’t feel anything. For example, if I saw a case about a woman who murdered her kids I literally feel like I shoulf feel worse or something and sometimes the reaction comes after the rumination: What are you feeling? Do you feel bad enough? check body sensations, emotions etc… it’s scares me. Has anyone else had experience this?
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