- Date posted
- 2y
ROCD Relationship Suspicions
There have been moments in my relationship where I have gotten suspicious of my partners intentions when calling me to the point where I tend to become mistrustful of her intentions based on the content of the call being so much banter that I dont know why she would even call to tell me these things. And that is just my perspective. She texted me last night after we had an argument about her anxiety around not getting an email back and we changed subject and then she wanted to use my number for doordash. She then got mad at my cryptic response then asking me to cover it in a rude way. In my mind, I was wondering if she was getting doordash with someone else and usually get these feelings that she says things and does these things to spite me or play games with me. I am unsure why that happens but it is this constant thought. In these moments, especially when I call her usually I hear something in the background to where I think she is doing something on the phone with me intentionally for show. I have had multiple occasions where this comes up and do not know where it stems from but its incredibly hard to be on the phone with her especially when she calls me she talks about things that dont even make sense and I try my best to follow while also trying to keep my suspicions away but it just always leads me to believe that she just wants to do it because there is someone else around and she wants people to witness me and her talk while possibly something going on in the background. Last night was another example where I called and she was talking about needing to get 5 cents more for the discount and then I got the feeling those were one of those moments where she wanted to talk for the sake of talking in front of someone else? Then i heard from a speaker phone, “Chips and Salsa” and then I just froze and muttered something like (partners name) are you with someone right now? My anxiety was so high I couldnt even get words out and really wanted to ask who that was but then she kept saying you need to call you need to call(mobile crisis) and then she brought up how I said I had so much insight into this(sarcastically) when mobile crisis came this one weekend(was never a danger to myself or others) and I did say that at first but backtracked that and then I just wanted to say one more thing and asked if I could and she said no i have to go. Thats when I just really fixated on the “chips and salsa” noise and really wanted her to tell me what that was so I called her a bunch of times and texted her and literally had no self control and it was very rude and disrespectful of her. I called her so many times and texted! These suspicions I have been working on with my therapist with exposure and response therapy but my stress level is always so high even if i repeat the scenario over and over and over. Today, I am meeting with her therapist and her which she requested and I am scared they are going to grill me about my behaviors that I desperately wanted to change(suspicions of her with someone, sending cryptic texts, wanting me to go crazy by things she does with someone on phone then blame it on my mental illness). Any advice how I can navigate this therapy session as she is real nasty about me and calls me possessive and abusive all the time when its just my OCD which she thinks its not OCD. I want to validate her experience and come to a compromise. I dont know if its official couples therapy and dont even trust the therapist as she has said things about their relationship before that make me mistrust him and if thats the case that would be sooo unethical. Sorry for the long post. Any thoughts on how to support her in her therapy would be real helpful. I want to be honest and open with her but I also want her to be more curious about when things come up for me and not just hang up and make me more obsessed about calling her.