This is so terrifying
My OCD is making me feel like I have another identity in my head and I hate it. It’s like who I was in the past is slowly deteriorating and this new person with new thoughts is taking over and it’s so frightening I just want to die I can’t handle this anymore
Just know that you’re not alone. It’s a horrible feeling but remember that no feeling is final. Sending much love
Also I am just including, just in case, in case you need extra support-This sounds like it has been really hard for you. I’m sorry you are going through this difficult time. NOCD is not a crisis service. I’m going to provide you with some resources that may help you address what you are sharing with me. Emergency Phone Numbers United States - Dial 9-1-1 U.K. - Dial 9-9-9 Australia - Dial 0-0-0 Canada - https://itgetsbettercanada.org/get-help/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Chat https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org Need Someone To Talk To? Warm Line https://warmline.org/warmdir.html
I’m so sorry, I know that doesn’t help but I definitely feel similarly and it’s so terrifying 😔
@Overdramaticoliver It’s ok, it’s like everytime I try to get back my old identity my mind won’t let me it’s so terrifying and I’m starting to think what if it’s not OCD
@KrispyKream I constantly think “what if it’s not the OCD” as well. One of the scariest parts
I want you to know that you can handle this, you are stronger than you think. People with OCD often feel like they cannot tolerate certain feelings even know they can. Don't give up. You can live a life that is based on your values and you can get to a place where it is so much better than what you feel right now in this moment. here are some articles that may be helpful. Please know that so many people have gotten better from OCD- I am one of them. There is so much hope. With the right treatment, you can experience relief from this debilitating disorder. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-should-i-sit-in-discomfort, https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/mental-compulsions-the-unseen-battle, https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-guilt-and-shame-from-ocd Please reach out of you would like to learn more about ERP and OCD treatment at NOCD. Our Care Team will typically begin with a 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler
My heart goes out to you, KrispyKream, I know what you're experiencing. Just try to keep in mind the big picture, which is: it's all OCD. It's not a reflection on you, your character, intent, etc. It's ALL OCD. And, yes, you're stronger than you think you are. Know why? Because you're in treatment, and it will eventually make you stronger and the the awful thoughts will gradually diminish. Just keep plugging and use the ERP tools. Stay in therapy. Always remember that it's not the content that matters, it's how you react to it.
I hated how weak I felt as a kid. Now I can’t seem to separate my younger self from who I am today
@Anonymous I got tired of getting thrown in the bushes every day. So I started working out. People now apologize when they bump into me. I look intimidating now. But, in reality I’m a giant teddy bear.
I struggled with this for about a year. The more ERP I began doing, the better it got until I started feeling like a single person again. you aren't alone ❤️
I relate very much to this. I've felt that way a lot and still do some weeks, even though I'm getting better. OCD isn't who you are. I have given my OCD a little character to help create a little distance which I find helpful. My OCD is a little twerp who kind of looks like the Inside Out character "Anger". I talk to him when he shows up to feed me BS intrusive thoughts. It makes my non-engagement responses a little easier. I know it feels like it takes over, but remind yourself that you are not your OCD. We don't get to control thoughts or feelings, only how we react and what actions we take. The more you push back on OCD, the easier it gets and the less distressing it'll be. We are here for you!
I used to draw a lot and design characters, I've been thinking about personifying my ocd in a similar way. But I'm worried that doing that will split my mind even further or lead me to developing d.i.d.
@ReadyForImprovement It’s horrible, I feel like I’m not a woman anymore even though I have never ever felt that way about myself. My best friend has been through my OCD struggle with me, especially back when I had Harm OCD and used to wake up shaking and crying every night, but this is so different it’s a direct attack on my femininity and identity and it’s so hard because it’s like I can’t even look at myself in the mirror because my brain keeps telling me I shouldn’t look that way. Some days I just want to give up I feel like I’ll never get over this.
I feel like no one knows the real me, I dont even know the real me anymore. OCD has been my identity for so long I always wonder who the f would I be without it. My thoughts and opinions change so rapidly I dont know if their my own anymore. My moods and emotions are so up and down I'm wondering what's the real way that I feel. Have I just been lying all my life.
Does anyone especially with harm ocd feel like they are their thoughts and want to do these things? Like no matter how hard I try and even during my therapy session I get the constant, “what if this isn’t OCD?”, “you like these thoughts”, “your a bad person”, “your going to act on these thoughts.” It gotten to the point where it feels like I’m actually this person and that I have changed into an evil person and it’s so scary cause it’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m never going to get my life back and that’s saddening. I’ve never had a violent history never hurt anyone or anything but I don’t know why it feels like I am.
I do not even know how to explain what I am experiencing right now. It feels like I am not even myself and it feels like the thoughts are stronger than ever before and that they are more compelling? But I also do not feel like I’m inside my body so it’s making it extra scary. I’ve never experienced OCD like this before. I’ve been doing a lot better overall but now with this, I’m feeling doomed to just be what my thoughts say. It feels like I’ve lost my mind if I am being honest and every thing is triggering me. It does not feel like OCD this time. Any advice?
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