- Username
- girlwithocd..
- Date posted
- 1y ago
TW, (suicidal)
I read on Quora that HOCD is not real, it was written by someone who thought he had HOCD but said it was only self hatred and homophobia. He told about how scared he was, that he spend several nights wanting to scream because he was so scared of the thoughts, and he realized he was just deep in the closet and really was gay. I just realized that I don’t want to live anymore, I was already triggered by my own thoughts from the past, maybe false memories but maybe I liked them. and felt like everything I have struggled with and the self hatred I have dealt with all my life is because I am in denial, and that would make perfect sense tbh, because I don’t understand why I have struggled so much in my life. It must be because of denial, and suddenly it feels like something clicked and I am so scared that this is real. Also I have struggled with this for 5 years. I don’t want to be in this life anymore. I just have to say I’m sorry to mum and dad.