Family Burden

Does anyone else find that their family fails to understand the actual distress that ocd causes? I know with my family they think that I have control over it, like I can just say “okay I’m good” and be okay. I struggle with contamination and checking ocd, Ive been seeing a therapist for a while and I just started medication, but they still get angry at me for compulsively washing or taking too much time in the shower. It feels even worse when my family makes me feel like a burden, when I’m already struggling and don’t want to be doing the compulsions. Anyone else struggle with this?

Contamination OCD

Emma_OCjustd...

Date posted: 2y

Omg my top two are contamination and checking too. Twinzies. Totally kidding. Anyways yes absolutely. I don’t think most people who have never experienced OCD can easily understand the intense distress that we experience from things that “normal” people don’t find scary. Like when I open up a jar of marinara sauce my entire body goes on high alert. Every step of the process of getting it in the pot and eventually into my mouth is paved with danger. A simple accident and yes the world will end. Obviously I’m trying to be funny here (how I try to keep sane I suppose) but honestly. Somebody once explained to me about just anxiety in general and they said that like way way back when, when our ancestors where in constant danger of being chased by a tiger or a bear or something it payed to be on high alert and be supper anxious. But now a lot of us still feel that way but there’s no bear. No tiger. The fear is real but the cause is an illusion or irrational. I think we just have to keep reminding others and ourselves that our fear is real whether it makes sense or not. It’s something we are experiencing and it’s affecting our lives moment to moment so it’s important that the people close to us try to understand at least on a basic level. It’s like “you know how you’d feel if you were being chased by a _insert scary chaser_ well that’s how I feel when ______” Its a silly example but it gets the point across. But anyways I’m sorry that people are getting angry at you for things that are not your fault (obsessions, compulsions, etc.). I’m visiting family right now and I’m only taking showers when no one else is home because I’m paranoid that someone’s going to notice how long they are and come yell at me or something. Though the scariest thing would be if they gave me a limit on how long I can be in there. I wash from top to bottom so it would be like “guess I’ll never wash my feet again 🥲”

Lulu_20

Date posted: 2y

@Emma_OCjustdon’t I completely get this, my parents sticky noted a note on my door in regards to when I needed to be out of the shower by. When I start taking too long my parents start banging things around like cabinets or doors and it makes me more anxious which in turn makes me more likely to give into the compulsions. When I tell them I’m struggling they are like “I’m sorry you’re struggling” but like no other support after that. I understand the pasta sauce example I am that way with my laundry and my towels, it’s exhausting and debilitating.

Emma_OCjustd...

Date posted: 2y

@Lulu_20 Ugh I’m so sorry that’s awful. I wish they would cut you some slack. I’ve had times where I was planning a visit to relatives and in preparation I was giving them a rundown of what to expect from me because of my OCD and showering came up and they were all like “water is really expensive here and I have a limited amount of hot water”. Like I get that but that’s your first response? And of course all the pressure your parents are putting on you is going to make it all worse. At least for me I know that the more anxious I am the longer it takes me to get anything done, especially showering!

Matthew L.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Sorry. My parents are very understanding of my OCD. I’m on meds. I live alone. I have contamination OCD. Must be so hard, you can’t just turn it off.

Matthew L.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

My parents tell me I’m not a burden. However I feel like a constant burden, just around for them to worry about.

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