Username: kyles

Date posted: 1y ago

Harm OCD?

Yesterday I was sitting on my couch with my son enjoying time and suddenly my mind goes “what if you just killed him right now” and then I was going back and forth in my mind just do it, you don’t want to do it, what if you do, what would happen…..obviously I have control and didn’t do it but my fingers got all tingly I really was very upset by how real the urge felt. I’ve tried all my coping skills but I feel like a crazy person and can’t stop thinking about it. Any tips?

Harm OCD

Username: Steven55!Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

You're suffering from the classic "what if" syndrome, very, very common in OCD. OCD likes to go after what/who you love, what/who you value, etc. Something that's helped me is to stay in the present. Am I doing it now? Am I planning to do it? Do I have a choice? Of course, the answer to the first two questions is no, and the answer to the third is yes. I also will tell myself "I accept the uncertainty that I will ever do it, because I don't know the future, but I'm not doing it now, I'm not planning on doing it, and I have a choice." I've found this to be very helpful regarding a wide array of OCD variations. Hope it helps you.

Username: kyles kyles

Date posted: 1y ago

@Steven55! Very helpful thank you !!

Username: Lamb123!Lamb123!

Date posted: 1y ago

I have this type of thought process all the time. Sometimes my thoughts shout “do it do it!” “you know you want to.” I’ve had this theme since when I first started trying for my son in 2014 and just had my first major relapse since 2017. But I’ve been reading Johnathan Greyson’s book and there are some really great tips in there. You might find it helpful too x

Username: kyles kyles

Date posted: 1y ago

@Lamb123! Thank you so much

Username: CB6236CB6236

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi! I have HarmOCD and kids, and it’s similar to this at times. It’s just another way for it to sneak in. Disregard the thought, sit with the anxiety. I learned a good technique that works for me from Ali Greymond…and that’s to say okay thanks for that thought, I hear it, and I’ll worry about it later. Set an alarm for an hour or two later, then literally let yourself worry about it later for 5-10 minutes. Most of the time you’ll find you don’t want to because you disregarded the thought previously, showing your brain that it’s not important. Just OCD nonsense. It’s hard, but believe me when I say OCD will find any way to sneak in, including making you think your values and personality have changed in a matter of seconds. You’re still you. Hang in there!

Username: kyles kyles

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you so much. It’s just that urge to do it really shook me. Sitting there fighting with it in my head as if I was really going to do it. Like I love my son and to have thoughts of hurting him makes me feel so crazy like I shouldn’t be able to enjoy him or anything else

Username: CB6236CB6236

Date posted: 1y ago

@kyles Oh I totally get it. It makes you feel like you don’t deserve to have them. The guilt is insane. But remember this is all in your brain. It’s your internal battle. His perception of you is not tarnished at all!

Username: RiveroceanRiverocean

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Kyles,I feel you I have the same type of thought, remember we love our children, some days are difficult than other, but we can beat this you are not alone friend, I'm at new at this will start ERP soon, has ERP worked for you in the past?

Username: kyles kyles

Date posted: 1y ago

@Riverocean I’m new just started today. Have an upcoming therapy session next month

Username: RiveroceanRiverocean

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

This is great! Thank you it could be a mantra

Username: IllyasIllyas

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Dude I feel you so much on this, my ocd targets my family as well too. Idk what would I do if I do something to my fam or friends. Looking back when I was a kid I used to cry when my fam would be away for more than 5m, and now having these fucking disgusting thoughts is insane. We all hate this, but at least we know this is a mental illness😪 other people might not know and that’s even worse

Username: Taylen

Date posted: 2y ago

Harm OCD

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

Username: vmc76

Date posted: 34w ago

Harm OCD thoughts

Everyday i have unwanted thoughts and images in my head of me harming my loved ones in horrible ways, also urges too. i’m not like that at all, i don’t want to be like that at all and i also have an extreme fear of becoming a bad person and harming the people i love, or snapping out of anger and harming people. These thoughts scare me a lot and im really sad that i have these thoughts at all and its taking a toll on my mental health. whenever i see something like a gun or a knife or something like that i get anxious and scared at the thought that i could hurt someone with those things and i get thought about me in a position where i hurt someone. the last thing i want is to hurt anyone. i just wanna make people happy and i wanna treat others with kindness. i don’t want to do any of that i don’t wanna be a bad person. i hate these thoughts in my head and im so anxious at the thought that im gonna commit them. can someone help me and give me some advice on what to do?

Username: libramama88

Date posted: 28w ago

OCD Harm Mom Struggling 3 years later

Hi guys! I've turned to you before but a new situation occured today and I want to understand my response. Like I said I have OCD harm and it is surrounded about my children and my residents I take care of, whom I love with my whole heart. My youngest son is very physical and always on top of me. Because of my disease it drives me up the wall! I feel so bad but it really freaks me out. Long story short he was on me today. Hand wrapped around him. I had an intrusive thought " what if I did something no one would know" it scared me and I pushed through but my nerves were so bad I ended up pushing some part of my hand on his arm. I was rushed with guilt. I'm also fighting strep and just feel so guilty.

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