I feel like this might be giving in to a compulsion to confess but I’m needing to talk here rather than to my husband. Recently I remembered how when we used to have devices in our cars on our old insurance to track our mileage I would check where he was on the app. Truly not like I didn’t trust him but just to see if he was on his way home as he travels for work and works evenings. We haven’t had the app in a year now, so I never do but I’ve gotten so anxious thinking I need to confess to him and it’s triggered my anxiety around him. I know confessing would only start an unnecessary argument. Need some help in fighting that urge.

Not only confessing might start an argument with your husband - it will feed the OCD monster even more and then it will send you more things that you need to confess. Believe me as someone who thought that confessing was a good thing, it got so bad that I had to stop. Let the guilt, uncertainty or pain be there. Keep going with your life but don't do mental rituals (like imagining what ifs, etc.). It might take a couple of hours but the feeling will go away if you don't feed it.

Also, my therapist suggested saying your thought out load for about 1-2 hours. I often do this when alone doing the housework etc. It really does help and you really do just get bored of it. Or, tell yourself you’ll save the question/ritual/compulsion for an allotted amount of time, ie 4 days for example. In 4 days it’ll probably not bother you anymore, or you just extend the time frame. Just giving in once opens up the flood gates. If you can stall, (or not do it at all) and just live with your uncertainty - It really is the only way forward. I’ve had an horrendous 3 months, questioning and requestioning my husband, writing questions down and getting him to sign that he’d understood and agreed, recording our conversations just so I was sure, I was going nuts!!!! Coming out the other side now and feeling myself again. Meds and therapy cracked it for me. I hope this helps xx

Thank you for sharing about mental rituals! Sometimes it’s hard to identify them with Pure O because they’re all in your head, but I can see that I am doing that.

I know exactly how you feel, the feeling will go away, try to distract yourself, try to do something fun that will take your mind of it.. ??

I have exactly the same thing, lots of mental rituals all centred around my husband. Try writing down what you would say to him Again and again and again until you get bored of the subject. It’s great ERP and works for me. ERP and medication has really helped me. The stupid question and rituals around my husband got so bad I thought we were going to split. Get help and really do not carry out your compulsion! It will just mKe way for more! Good luck xx

Wow, thank you! That’s a great ERP tip!! I am in therapy, and it’s extremely helpful. Thanks so much!!