- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Not only confessing might start an argument with your husband - it will feed the OCD monster even more and then it will send you more things that you need to confess. Believe me as someone who thought that confessing was a good thing, it got so bad that I had to stop. Let the guilt, uncertainty or pain be there. Keep going with your life but don't do mental rituals (like imagining what ifs, etc.). It might take a couple of hours but the feeling will go away if you don't feed it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Also, my therapist suggested saying your thought out load for about 1-2 hours. I often do this when alone doing the housework etc. It really does help and you really do just get bored of it. Or, tell yourself you’ll save the question/ritual/compulsion for an allotted amount of time, ie 4 days for example. In 4 days it’ll probably not bother you anymore, or you just extend the time frame. Just giving in once opens up the flood gates. If you can stall, (or not do it at all) and just live with your uncertainty - It really is the only way forward. I’ve had an horrendous 3 months, questioning and requestioning my husband, writing questions down and getting him to sign that he’d understood and agreed, recording our conversations just so I was sure, I was going nuts!!!! Coming out the other side now and feeling myself again. Meds and therapy cracked it for me. I hope this helps xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for sharing about mental rituals! Sometimes it’s hard to identify them with Pure O because they’re all in your head, but I can see that I am doing that.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly how you feel, the feeling will go away, try to distract yourself, try to do something fun that will take your mind of it.. ??
- Date posted
- 6y
I have exactly the same thing, lots of mental rituals all centred around my husband. Try writing down what you would say to him Again and again and again until you get bored of the subject. It’s great ERP and works for me. ERP and medication has really helped me. The stupid question and rituals around my husband got so bad I thought we were going to split. Get help and really do not carry out your compulsion! It will just mKe way for more! Good luck xx
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow, thank you! That’s a great ERP tip!! I am in therapy, and it’s extremely helpful. Thanks so much!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Less than a year ago, I had a very big anxiety flare up to the point that I felt as though I needed to report to the police / harm myself. I ended up leaving an anonymous tip at the police hotline about something that I know I didn’t even do but everything told me I had to or else I will go to jail. And similarly after that I called the help line and explained I had unwanted intrusive thoughts and I didn’t think I deserved to live for having those thoughts. After these many months and working with my therapist, I’ve been able to feel a lot less anxious around this topic and now I’m getting lots of anxiety about what I did that time when I was so anxious. I gave in to my compulsions and confessed for stuff that I know sounds bad saying out loud but only certain people will understand I would never do. So now I’m just looking for someone to relate and perhaps let me know that I don’t have anything to worry about? I know it’s bad to seek reassurance but I’m not sure where to go. And I’m worried I’m going to keep incriminating myself.
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?
- Date posted
- 17w
I was at a house party a month ago and everyone was taking photos of silly moments. I took two photos that had an attractive person in them. I deleted the photos a few days later because I felt guilty and anxious that I had taken them. I keep ruminating and thinking about my intentions. I do believe I took them because they had an attractive person in them. I worry that this makes it count as cheating. I am very very open with my partner and I tend to constantly confess things like this to him. I have confessed so many things to him, and he always holds the same stance: he believes that fantasizing and crushing is okay. He said he has had his own crushes and he said “fantasizing is nice as long as it stays a fantasy.” I agreed. I told him about my crush and how anxious I was about it and how I was afraid that it was emotional cheating. He told me that it really doesn’t matter and that it’s only wrong if it’s physical cheating. I should note that I have taken VERY VERY good care to never even attempt to become friends with this person. I’ve seen them a handful of times at group gatherings but I never ever message them on my own, I ignore all their messages in a group chat because I don’t want to give them special attention, I never even speak to them in person unless they speak to me first. We are barely even friends. He said he doesn’t need to know what goes on in my head and as long as an action seems innocent to an outsider, it’s not cheating and he doesn’t need to know about it. One time I confessed an action where I also felt like my intentions were wrong, and he told me “Who cares about intentions? It’s outcome that matters.” My therapist also told me not to worry about these actions. He said that if I keep ruminating on whether an action is right or wrong, I should just try to sit with the discomfort and not confess. He told me that if an action were really wrong, I would KNOW it intuitively and “my body would push me to confess.” I’m just so worried sick about this. Do I confess or not?
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