I love God, but this makes me suffer alot...

I dont want to stop believing but i deal with alot of anxiety and guilt about being a good person or not, doing what God wants or not, sometimes even question if its true or not, so it gives me more stress than good... Today i went out with friends, i felt soo good, but everytime i make jokes, feel good about my personality i get scared and question is this acceptable for a christian? We talked about s*x cause we are in our 20's and then i felt guilt cause i shouldnt talk about this or joke about it. But at the same time if i would have a christian friend, talking all about good things would be boring... i know s*x isnt sin, we can talk about it but it mathers how you talk about it... so idk i slowly get depressed cause i dont know how should i act, what should i say, just saying things that "glorifies God" isnt possible and its boring, even that i like God i say it... i like my mother too but i dont tell everyone how good mother she is, or just talk about things that makes her a good mother... i dont know how should i behave to be good in Gods eyes

Religion & Spirituality OCD

j.d

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I have had all these thoughts and had some of them today. So I understand really. But I have learned that erp is not ignoring all the bad stuff just to do what we want, it’s learning how to do what we want because we want that and the things we think are really from God rather than trying to please our ocd monster. You should look up some articles on this website: https://scrupulosity.com/relax-about-religion/ It has helped me a lot and Jaime has gone through this and is a strong believer. This week I struggled with your same thoughts though because I know I still desire sin, but also know that doesn’t glorify God, but also know that being locked in guilt and shame is not the way out. So I have to pray and ask God to help me, fight sin, strive towards holiness, but believe in grace and mercy too. Grace to be saved and Grace to be sanctified.

j.d

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I understand these fears a a lot… I hve had them all. Try to rest in the uncertainty and the lack of clarity. To believe in a God who is okay with us asking him to help our unbelief like the story from scripture. Also, I would suggest erp, it has shown me a lot more about faith and believing in Jesus completely and not my actions or ability.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

But erp sounds like i do not care about how i behave. I tried it, even when i didnt even know what is ocd or erp, i just reacted with "i dont care, im just enjoying my life now" and i just felt worse cause it was like im behaving on my desires, i do what feels good to me, and i always got to the bad side of things. I care too much about being a good person, and i feel guilt about saying to others that i believe in God but then in my actions it doesnt seems like that. Its even in the 10 commandmends to not use Gods name in vain... I decided that i would like to write and sing songs about God to praise Him but i always think about this commandment, i would have so much guilt cause i cant be that good as God would want me... and if i watch the other side which people say that we cant be good cause we are just people, Jesus was the only perfect human and we accept that we cant be like that, its enough if we believe in Him, thats just sound bs to me... then you can do anything, be the worst person ever, just believe and accept jesus...

cmax20

Date posted: 25w

Religious OCD and romantic relationships

I have grown up in a Christian community and kind of always been around people who believe Christianity or even catholic. In the past few years I’ve really dove deep into my faith and honestly felt good about myself sometimes but overall terrified and like I’m a horrible person if I do one thing wrong or make a wrong sin. I’m also not sure if I completely believe in all the traditional Christian practices anymore. But I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and everything is going great. We communicate and he’s so loving and respectful and I honestly don’t have any major issues In the relationship. I used to have a big fear of men starting when I was like 7 aboit my grandpa or my dad trying to rape me (even though they are good men and showed no real signs of it). But it ruined my relationship with them both for awhile til it eventually went away. I always told myself it was because the “spirit” of ocd was rebuked by Jesus but I honestly don’t know. Now I’m dealing with a more extosential or religious ocd where I’m terrified I’m a horrible person for being in a relationship and almost feel worse about myself if I get closer to God. I also feel like if I get too close to God then I have to choose between Him and my bf and I can’t have both. It’s driving me in San and I feel like if I tell anyone any of this they’ll tell me to just break up with my bf even though there isn’t anything wrong in our relationship. Idk what to do and it’s so draining

Starve_The M...

Date posted: 20w

To my Christian brothers and sisters

Hi I have a question. I love jesus he changed my life and Made me a better person but my ocd loves to confuse me so I have a problem where I remember something in the past and I repented ofc but not it makes me question my intentions and my ocd always puts the are you lying to God card which makes me super scared and then doubt occurs and I'm so exhausted I misinterpret a lot like the voice of God I keep hearing tell the truth and repent now that's it all Good if it were true see ik I'm telling the truth not because of some feeling it's because ocd's version is so ridiculous but It feels soo real I just Want go to God without feeling this fear if I'm lying to him and I fear if somehow I'm wrong. So much anxiety and questions like what if that is gods voice what if I'm wrong pls pray for me and I see videos and I'm scared if that video was sent to me by God telling me to "tell the truth" I say that because my ocd is causing me to doubt the truth being that ocd is wrong

cmax20

Date posted: 15w

Sex and religion

Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.

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I love God, but this makes me suffer alot...

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