I’m experiencing an existential OCD spiral

I’m new here! I just started, and I wanted to ask if anyone has any helpful ways to cope or take your mind off of the intrusive thoughts. I couldn’t sleep last night because of what I’ve been thinking about. (The following could be a trigger for anyone, especially anyone with existential OCD/death OCD) I can’t get my mind off of the inevitability of death and what comes after. I thought talking to my boyfriend this time would help like it usually does, but for some reason it really has a hold on me. I did manage to fall asleep, but the second I woke up, I got the intrusive thoughts again.

Existential OCD

Username: VGHVGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Welcome, glad you are here, this is a great community, very helpful. Talking to your boyfriend, trying to figure it out, gain certainty are all compulsions and they keep the OCD cycle going. You may feel better for a bit, but when the doubt comes back, which it will, you have to do compulsions again. It feels urgent, it nags at your brain, it feels very uncomfortable. So, rather then trying to “figure it out” I was taught to allow those thoughts to be there. When they pop into my mind I acknowledge it, label it, “intrusive thought” and I move on with something I value, take a walk, go to the gym, call a friend (and not talk about my “thought” but focus on her😀). It takes practice, you will feel like you’re being irresponsible, it will seem harmless to just think about it and end your uncomfortable feeling but you have to resist. It does get easier over time. Have you reached out to NOCD? It was so helpful to me. Their YouTube channel has many helpful videos as does the IOCDF Website.

Username: FaithCAFaithCA

Date posted: 1y ago

@VGH Thank you so much for the help! I never really thought of reaching out to talk about it as feeding into it! I really appreciate all the support

Username: Christy123Christy123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I have existential OCD too. Have you tried ERP? Or gotten a therapist to teach you? Basically, you have to just sit with the thoughts and not react. It will feel uncomfortable. But over time the anxiety naturally decreases. Talking to your boyfriend about it is actually a compulsion and makes the OCD worse. It makes you feel better in the short term, but only fuels to cycle to come back even stronger next time. Sit with the uncertainty and dont answer OCD’s questions. When this pops up for me, I say, “Yep! Maybe maybe not. It’s not my job to figure that out”

Username: FaithCAFaithCA

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much, this is a huge help. I have never even heard of ERP until I downloaded this app this morning! I’ll see if my therapist can help!

Username: Lisa LeeLou Lisa LeeLou

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 1y ago

@faithCA welcome. Glad you’re here. Having this site to share hope, struggles and encouragement is such a great resource for all of us. I struggle with intrusive thoughts. When they come up, it helps me to reply with a neutral statement like “thanks OCD” Instead of trying to analyze the thoughts. I know easier said than done, but it does get better with practice. ERP (Exposure and response prevention) therapy has been a huge help for me with learning How to tolerate the intrusive thoughts without engaging in compulsions like ruminating, etc. Are you in therapy with a trained OCD therapist or NOCD? If you are not in treatment for your OCD, you may want to consider reaching out to the NOCD care team for a free 15 minute consultation about treatment options; please see the link below; https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar?src=homepage&_gl=1*dpgbx1*_gcl_aw*R0NMLjE2MzY2NTk5MTQuQ2p3S0NBaUFtN09NQmhBUUVpd0FydkdpM0QwaEhYczN1Q0ZabWhVRUF4RndaaDJoa3AxbTRnek9TRWQweUJ4U3pqeU1SRU9FNGVwZkFSb0NNY0VRQXZEX0J3RQ

Username: Sparkle_kiwi

Date posted: 3y ago

Hey guys! Trigger warning because I don’t want anyone to read this and adopt a new intrusive thought! So I’ve been struggling recently with something that seems pretty unique, and I could really use any help I can get with this thought. Basically, a little while back, I all of a sudden had this thought that nothing matters, because at the end of the day, we are all going to die anyways. Since then, any time I start getting really excited or if I start feeling depressed about something, that intrusive thought pops into my head. It tells me that there’s no point in feeling anything deeply because it’s not a big deal and life is short. I know some people might say this is a good way to look at things that stress you out, but it’s really really starting to affect me in the realm of things that make me happy too. I’ll get excited to move in with my bf, and then this thought pops in intrusively and I immediately feel nothing now. I’m struggling to start my schoolwork that I was looking forward to doing well on because this way of thinking tells me it doesn’t even matter to finish my degree and be passionate about it, because I’m just going to die someday and this doesn’t matter. The things that made me excited before, now don’t simply because of this very thought. Not to be dramatic, but this one thought has changed my entire mindset and is literally changing my life. I really really really need help with this. It’s causing me not to feel like I used to, and I’m scared for how the rest of my life will feel now that I’ve adopted this intrusive thought.😢

Username: Blake K.

Date posted: 2y ago

Going through existential ocd

Hey everyone, this is my first post here and I just have to get stuff off my chest. It started so randomly and so recently. I (21 m) came to accept my morality and my death at a fairly young age following watching 'UP' and my grandfather passed away. But a youtube video talking about a character struggle with their death as part of a character arc, that one line made my mind fall into a rabbit hole on death, what is death, what's after death, what's life, it's meaning, is there a God, what am I doing with my life, what do I want to do? And is it worthwhile? I felt like I like was slowly disconnecting from reality and that nothing was worth it. My interest like guitar, combat sports, pro wrestling and video games didn't bring me comfort. I've even have trouble eating, just two bites of a chicken sandwich felt like 30 bites. I've just keep thinking about my life and my inevitable death and I couldn't focus on anything else. I think it's because I feel like I'm at a war with my mind, people say life is to short and at the same time to not rush it. I am a Christian and I do believe in an after life of peace but I question what's real and what's not and I don't ever feel happy. Is anyone else going through what I'm feel I really need help.

Username: haleymoriarty

Date posted: 30w ago

Hi everyone ☀️❤️

I am issuing a trigger warning because I will be discussing Su!cide themed OCD and don’t want to trigger anyone struggling with thoughts like this. ❤️ I have been struggling with suicidal themed ocd (not ideation, unwanted thoughts that are very distressing) as well as existential OCD. I am posting this to help anyone feel less alone / if anyone with similar themes wants to chat. My main fear is that I will become sick of the distress I am experiencing and will decide that I want to commit S. I also fear being depressed and being passively suicidal and am constantly checking whether I truly want to die or whether it’s OCD related. Then my existential OCD loves to join in saying “what if this is all pointless, this is all meaningless, life will never be enjoyable again” etc. I then fear that I will start to believe these thoughts because they feel so real & that my philosophy on life will change and I will take my own life because I cannot take it anymore. I feel like I cannot move on without knowing that there is a purpose and that I 100% will NOT k!ll myself. But I am aware of how OCD works. I know I need to leave these questions alone because my true values still exist deep down, but it feels irresponsible to do so. I DO NOT want reassurance, but I am sharing this so people feel less alone because these themes (especially su!cidal) are extremely taboo. Love to anyone reading this- we are gonna make it!! ❤️

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I’m experiencing an existential OCD spiral

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