ROCD is hurting my relationship

I used to experience this a lot. Always felt that something was “wrong”. Nearly broke up with my (then boyfriend) after 3 years just after my friends wedding. I did a lot of work on my ROCD and have been able to manage it quite well! I believe there is hope 3 years later, we got married. Nowadays I can recognize my spiral coming on, I let him know about it, and I allow my thoughts to pass through me. I also go to resources like @anxiouslovecoach and @youloveandyoulearn on insta. Now I can recognize what is a trigger and view it simply as a trigger, not a sign that we aren’t right for each other.

I’m right there with you too ! From what I can see from my own opinion is it’s your ocd .. everyone gets these thoughts it’s normal .. but when it becomes a problem like this it is for sure ocd .. if you don’t wanna leave him and you know you’d be lost or sad without him then you do love him.. I struggle with relationship ocd every time I get into a new relationship .. I’ll listen to the doubts break up and the very next thing I’m kicking myself in the ass hating myself for listening to my doubts and then missing the person I just left like crazy.. my advice is you tell him and communicate to him.. it’s worse if you keep it all bottled up inside .. normal people can do things easier than people with ocd .. that’s including relationships .. but you need to communicate and reassure him this is what’s randomly going through your head .. reassure him you don’t wanna leave and lean in to your thoughts the more you fight it the harder it is for you .. joke with the thoughts .. laugh about them .. you obviously care about him. Otherwise you’d just been like eh whatever I’ll find someone else .

Yes all the time they are constant cause it’s you’re body reacting . Its getting worse cause it’s bugging the shit out of you .. .. I do feel that way you are not alone .. but I also know myself .. I’ve acted on my thoughts before and hate what I’ve done and miss my person I left due to them .. that’s why I try and push through .. usually I go through it get through it and I’m fine again or normal then usual . I let my therapist know this usually happens only when I get into a new relationship and she said yes that’s rocd I don’t feel this way when I casually have hook ups with woman only when I like and get with Someone .. and that’s usually from my understanding what ocd does .. you attack yourself with doubts and fears and it doesn’t do anything when casually hooking up cause there is no importance there .. and my lady is very important to me . I like her and she’s been there for me even after telling her my mental struggles .. I know if I left thinking I want another woman my rocd would just spike up again no matter whom I’m with .. it’s just who I am and how I get . But they usually do get better .. I have good days and bad .. usually more good then bad .. but it helps you communicate .. if he leaves you than he ain’t the one .. if he stays and helps that’s what you truly deeply want . That’s why it feels so great when you’re not attacking yourself and you feel yourself .. my therapist said after I told her I feel amazing when I’m not thinking when I’m doing ok she said yes that’s cause you’re back to your true self . And I felt that on another level .

I know I wrote a lot I’m sorry .. but believe me when you’re going through it it fucking sucks with a passion.. but the moment you feel better and fine and are ok it’s absolutely beautiful .. I fucking love when I’m not in it .. I see how beautiful my life is how beautiful my woman is .. how beautiful love is .. mine also stems probably from my past.. I’ve never had good relationships my mom walked out on the family for another man. My dad got with a new woman shortly after and I felt like he chose her and her children more then he chose me .. so I may also have deeper wounds that cause this .. I’m also afraid and terrified of being hurt and depressed cause ocd me while depressed is not good whatsoever .. but just hang in there and give it a chance .

I’m glad to hear that you have found a way to accept the thoughts and get back to your true self. Communicating with my partner has definitely been helpful, but I’ve found that too much is hurting my relationship a little bit. Thank you for responding, this has been really helpful and I am looking forward to my journey through this difficult time. ❤️