- Date posted
- 2y
..
I'm so sick of this constant fear about losing my mind... Never happened, probably never will... But fear is always there...
I'm so sick of this constant fear about losing my mind... Never happened, probably never will... But fear is always there...
Sorry you’re going through this. I can relate. From time to time I catch myself going down the OCD rabbit hole. When I do, I give myself some compassion and accept the uncertainty (maybe, maybe not). I choose not to engage with the OCD thoughts (what if I become schizophrenic or go crazy?) and instead move on to the things I value. In my journey I’ve learned that I cannot control what comes to my mind but I can control whether to respond. This also goes to the fear. I can respond to or let it run its course. I usually choose not to respond. By doing so it keeps me from acting on the compulsion to google. Hoping this helps you!!!
This is actually a pretty common fear, even for people who just have anxiety or panic disorder. My mom has GAD and Panic disorder and she said she had this fear for a while, it's a scary place when our emotions are so intense. I've been working on this with my nocd therapist, one thing that helped me a lot was to just say over and over again. I might go crazy, I might go insane. Eventually my brain gets tired of thinking about it and stops. The thoughts are always flowing by but they are definitely not as intense as they use to be.
Thank you❤️❤️
Thank you guys 💙💙💙
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
My OCD has been terrible the for the past two weeks. I have a fear that I will never be able to get out of the thought loop. I am hyper aware of my thoughts and it disturbs me. I haven’t been able to eat for 10 days. I force myself. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Then I wake up and ruminate for a couple hours, until I’m exhausted. I’m also afraid I’ll never sleep well again. And I’m afraid I’ll never eat and enjoy my food again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this enough to enjoy my family ever again.
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