- Date posted
- 2y
Who am I
Does anyone with this subtype feel like all your memories with the sex you like it was an other person like it was not you bc your brain keep telling you that you want the other sex š©?
Does anyone with this subtype feel like all your memories with the sex you like it was an other person like it was not you bc your brain keep telling you that you want the other sex š©?
It's become so real and I'm with my boyfriend nearly two years and I just feel like I was doing it just to do it š„ŗ
@Anonymous Iām with mine for almost 3 years now and same I just donāt recognise myself like I was faking it even tho I was really happy with him likeā¦
@LolaG And I saw a tik tok there that was like when I realised when I was 13 but pushed it down for 13 years and now it has me panicking because I had my first episode then
@Anonymous Did you mean that you had your first SOCD episode at 13? I did personally and then it popped back up 20+ years later and in a way that took over my life.
@GoAwayOCD1060 Yes I had about a 2 week period where I had it it went away until now š„ŗ and I'm just broken with it
@Anonymous And when I read those coming out stories for ERP it freaks me out cause Iām like āit was true, it wasnāt ocd it was denial etc; down the rabbit hole.
@GoAwayOCD1060 Oh yeah on tiktok I saw a girl say "a straight girl donāt worry all the time if sheās lesbian or not" 𤔠and it made me cry :)
@LolaG And lately I just keep getting everything about being gay like everything
@Anonymous I can relate, yesterday after ERP for 30 mins doubt creeped in all day but itās part of the process! I know I shouldnāt get any comfort from the fact that you were 13 when you first got the SOCD but to be honest, I do. I had OCD up to that point and still donāt know what triggered or made me think āIām gayā and have to urge to say it but what are the chances we both had that and then it came back and both have OCD and both are in denial (along with thousands of others). Itās possible we are in denial but itās also possible that we are ocd sufferers who all share the same thoughts. Mine switched to POCD and even Transocd one night. Itās there to torture and instill fake fear but we need to sit with the possibility that we could be gay in denial but also could be ocd and sharing the same experience.
@LolaG If you look or I should say if ocd looks for it on Tik tok, youāll find the answer to latch on. Try to stop compulsions (checking, googling, etc; for a week and youāll see how much relief you get eventually). I used to look at straight porn so much that it desensitized actual normal sex and when I did have normal sex, my ocd was like yup see youāre not into it) but when I stopped checking via porn for a week, my regular libido came back! Depression and anxiety can interfere with our emotions to where we become indifferent towards the very ppl we know weāve loved like our partners. That can also contribute to those ocd thoughts of āsee I donāt feel anything towards them so that meansā but itās just us feeding the OCD.
@GoAwayOCD1060 This is so true I spend hours and I mean hours googling , checking my body and mine also went to pocd one night but only lasted the night now I still get thoughts when I'm around the kids in my family but it hasn't latched on as bad then I was quite bad with my health too and then my weight since I was about 6/7
@Anonymous My weight lasted until this came along
Iāve also had so-ocd pop up when I was 12/13. The thoughts have always kinda been there cause I had anxiety about why I had that thought. Iāve have three major flare ups with this, one when 13, when I was 20 and now when Iām in my 30s. Really sucks and I too go through lulls when I donāt know if this is OCD or not
I feel everything youāre saying. I was so happy with my relationship. And my mental health was the best it had ever been. And then when she had to go away for a few weeks it just plummeted and hasnāt been the same since.
Mine knows the individual I was with and stuff it just doesn't matter to my ocd brain
All's I've done this morning is cry
@Anonymous This was my whole day yesterday :)
@LolaG It's like I'm mourning my old self
I literally spent all day crying
@Anonymous Me yesterday, hope youāll be better soon
Interesting, same pattern for me in terms of timing.
Yes
Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like youāre the opposite gender and thatās what you want to be and itās very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i donāt feel like myself at all anymore. Itās making me not feel like a woman or myself of how Iāve always been my whole life. Iām really nervous and scared, itās really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): itās causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and itās making me feel like Iām attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. Iām in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like āIām really a lesbian nowā or āIām ok with it now, this is what I preferā. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, Iāve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like Iām managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like Iām used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that Iām ok with it. Like I donāt care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes Iāve had, I had these little moments of clarity like āIām not giving up on my fantasies of menā or āIāve always wanted men, that doesnāt just changeā. But last night Iāve had really sexual dreams that Iām having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but Iām not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if Iām still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (Iām really not sure anymore) is telling me that Iām a lesbian now and I prefer it. Itās like I donāt care and want it now. Itās like Iām not even feeling confusion about it. I donāt know if itās because of the meds, Iāve been distracted (family in town), because Iām in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because Iāve really changed. Itās literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I donāt want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesnāt change who you are, but now Iām worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (Iāve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
I want to start by specifying that I am not diagnosed. This feels too real, yesterday I was fine about this, I didn't feel much, I didn't think much and I felt fine, Today I woke up from dreams I had (not explicit) but I really feel like I am this, I don't know how to explain it, I feel like I sexualize everything, I feel like I like it and it makes me uncomfortable, I always feel different from everyone else, but in a bad way. I don't know how to explain it, but I really feel like this is who I am, and what happens to me is that I can't identify with OCD. I avoid everything that reminds me of this And I feel that sometimes I downplay the issue of my "OCD" as if it were not serious and it is
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