Mia Mia

Date posted: 1y ago

First HOCD trigger

I feel like the way my HOCD was first triggered is abnormal. I feel like everyone had a thought like “what if I’m gay” or something of that sort. My first trigger was a picture of a girl I felt attracted to — but it was WEIRD because I knew this girl and I never really thought she was like gorgeous or anything. I was super hormonal when my ocd started for the first time so I don’t know if that has to do with anything. I fear that the “attraction” I felt for her was a sexual awakening.

Sexual Orientation OCD

PumpkinFrapp

Date posted: 1y ago

I get this so much… my OCD actually started with arousal to a sexual image of a woman. I had just come off of hormonal birth control, so my hormones were totally whacking out. I was so convinced that I even came out to my mom, but I was crying because I wanted it to be a phase that would go away when I met the right guy. I didn’t even know I had OCD was until 4 years later. I thought I just was in denial. And tbh, even though I know I have OCD, I’m still terrified that I won’t be satisfied in a relationship with a guy because deep down I want to be with a woman. But I have to remind myself that OCD can be tricky and feeds off of those worries. The only way to feel better is to accept doubt.

Mia Mia

Date posted: 1y ago

@CaramelFrapp Wow that’s crazy how much we relate !!

Iamtheonewho...

Date posted: 1y ago

@CaramelFrapp I remember telling my dad I thought I was cause the thoughts and he told me well son if that’s what you think you like then go out and try and see .. and as soon as he told me that I got super disgusted at the the thought . Lmao and he was like well there’s your answer .. my therapist at the time had told me the same thing cause she had a female patient tell her the same kinda ocd she was going through and told her the same thing .. go out and see and try the experience and she was like no way lol.

Iamtheonewho...

Date posted: 1y ago

My first thought and socd moment was nothing even bad .. I just got a gay kid in my class stuck in my head lmfao.. like I can see his face when I closed my eyes I was obsessing about it so hard .. nothing sexual nothing bad no attraction no nothing .. and I just spiraled for 3 years or so before I was diagnosed with ocd at 20 I started at 18 in senior year all at the same time I was super depressed my gf had left to a different state found out she was cheating mom left my dad and left her kids for another man .. so my therapist said because of all the emotion I had at that moment in time is for some reason why and how I developed my ocd really badly .. cause I also could remember with that same gf being head over heels for her I’d randomly think I wonder if I should just leave her .. and it would rip me apart at the thought of it .. but I’d easily get out of the thought and it would pass and I’d forget about it all.. but now my ocd just clings to me like super glue

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

For SO-OCD I did have a “what if” thought, but I was triggered this way with POCD. There was no intrusive thought that came up, it was just a very uncomfortable and distressing feeling when I was watching a TikTok or something 😭 then I started having random images in my head and it was brutal.

Mia Mia

Date posted: 1y ago

@blazed I get that

PERS0N

Date posted: 1y ago

For those of you who responded, were you formally diagnosed with OCD? And what kind of professional did you see? Was it a psychotherapist, psychologist, etc?

Mia Mia

Date posted: 1y ago

@PERS0N I have been . NOCD therapist. Why are you asking ?

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@PERS0N I have by my psychiatrist.

PumpkinFrapp

Date posted: 1y ago

@PERS0N I don’t have a formal diagnosis, but my therapist said that I easily meet the requirements for OCD by DSM-5 standards and feels comfortable calling it OCD.

Iamtheonewho...

Date posted: 1y ago

@PERS0N I was diagnosed by a therapist at 20 before my first daughter was born .. I’m 33 now .. my psychiatrist at the time prescribed me pacsol but I ended up losing my job and insurance . But ended up feeling and doing better .. tell recently .. got with an amazing woman who is sticking by side with all the mental issues I got she’s very understanding .. well try’s to be .. but she’s supportive as hell .. and I just got tired of overthinking bs ..

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

Triggered

Looked up OCD recovery / success stories to give myself some hope. Found a link to a page on the NOCD website that shared a few people's recovery journeys. Clicked on the first one that had SOOCD tagged as a theme. She had the fear she was gay. Turns out she IS gay. It really triggered me and now I'm in a bit of a spiral 😭 ended up googling and looking for reassurance. I feel guilty and sad for engaging in compulsions. Like I just took a huge step back, or something.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Wessers19

Date posted: 8w ago

Could being exposed to content as a kid affected me in this way?

Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.

vizzy15

Date posted: 6w ago

So-ocd

Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.

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First HOCD trigger

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