OCD can be complex, so I won’t discount the possibility that it is playing a role.
That said, this sounds to me like a mix of social anxiety and some dysfunctional thoughts (“I’m not worthy of being in their company”, “I’m ruining their time”, “I’m a burden”, etc.).
Have you ever read Dr. David Burns’ books, “Feeling Good” and “Feeling Great”? If not, I recommend you give them a shot. He explains how to identify and address a variety of different types of “dysfunctional thoughts”, which can cause unpleasant emotions.
The ones I mentioned above, would include his categories of “labeling” (“I’m unworthy/a burden”), “mind reading” (assuming you know what others are thinking - “they think I’m ruining their time”), self-blame (“I’m ruining their time / a burden”), emotional reasoning (reasoning based on how you feel - “I feel like a burden, therefore I must be one”), and possibly others like “mental filer” (=focusing only on negatives), “discounting the positives” (=ignoring the good moments), “magnification/minimization” (thinking that things are bigger or smaller than they are [i.e. minimizing the times you make people laugh, while maximizing the awkward of moments that you can remember]), “should statements” (possibly thoughts along the lines of “I SHOULD be more interesting/entertaining”), among others.
There’s a list of 10 types of dysfunctional thoughts, and a bunch of methods you can use to counter them. I personally feel like the second book, “Feeling Great” is better and easier to put into action, right away, but both are worth reading, IMO.
Hopefully, you feel better soon. Feel free to ask any questions, and I’ll try to help where I can.
