This is really personal for me to share but I fear that something is wrong with me. I will be 19 next month and I’m still a virgin. I’ve always had the fear of intimacy and having sex had always intimidated me. I fear that this is because I’m a lesbian and I’m starting to fear that my friends think I’m lesbian because of this.. I feel like this isn’t normal.
there is nothing wrong with you still being a virgin! I’m 21 and still a virgin, and I’d go as far to say half of my friends around the same age still are, too. there are plenty of people older than both of us who are as well! try to continue to take everything at your own pace and don’t worry about what people think. let things happen when the time is right and the person is right. we’re all different people living very different lives, so what matters most is that you feel good about yourself and your own experiences.
@vicsan Thank you for being vulnerable with me … I just look at how all of my friends lost their v card when they were like 14 !! I didn’t have my first kiss until 16 so I was like 😦 I appreciate you for sharing your story ☺️
I swear, you and I are in this boat together. I’m 30 and still a virgin, and when I was your age, I was definitely afraid of sex as well, both before and after OCD. I kept worrying about it being painful. Now I’m more worried that it’ll be boring or I’ll never get the “spark”. I think a lot of women with HOCD are in a similar situation. I do know that for many women, we need an emotional connection to enjoy sex, so don’t rush things to try to figure yourself out. The way I’m approaching it now is by trying to accept doubt by saying “Maybe I’ll meet a guy I have chemistry with, maybe I won’t. But right now I want to try.”
@CaramelFrapp Thank you for that… I’m glad I have someone to relate to .. I felt like I was different because everyone I know is sexually active and I’m the only one without a boyfriend in my friend group!! But you’re right, I should probably deal with the uncertainty on this one
My buddy lost his virginity at 22 .. just cause your freinds think the way they do don’t mean jack shit.. if it scares you that’s normal .. sex is amazing yes.. but without proper protection there’s baby’s that could be made dudes who’d play you or diseases .. so it’s totally normal for you to feel intimidated or scared .. I lost mine at 17 to a woman I loved immensely and she ended up breaking my heart into a million pieces .. sex is fun but it ain’t the end of the world if your not ready yet .. take your time .. just cause you don’t want it doesn’t make you a lesbian .. I’m 33 .. and dump your freinds cause they sound toxic as hell ..
@Iamtheonewhooverthinks Thabk you for sharing your story and looking out for me !!
@Mia Mia Oh you got it !! Don’t worry though ! The right time will come with the right person ! You got this !
Girl same!!!!! I am 20 I have never had a boyfriend and I’m a virgin. I fear the exact same as you. I’m constantly worried if people view me a certain way or if I look a certain. You are never alone!
@Anonymous Thank you so much… you’re not alone as well!
I am 18 and still a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend.
@HongAnh Same!!
Anyone struggling with hocd going through this: growing up (18 now) I've never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I'm super awkward with that type of stuff for some reason and just don't know why. So any opportunity of having a serious boyfriend I was always uncomfortable and said no. That also had to do with me not liking my body and thinking that a guy would find it super ugly and unlovable. So with that being said I'm afraid I'm a lesbian or bi and like I don't find boys attractive anymore. I'm scared cause I want to be with a guy but I'm afraid I'll never find a guy I want to be with and find out in the long run I'm a lesbian or something. I don't want to be with girls but ocd is kicking me in my ass. Telling me that only girls are attractive, picking apart anything I find attractive on a guy and it makes me sad. Also sorry for the tmi but I'm afraid I won't find a penis attractive and that's that and I'm lesbian. I know I have to accept the unknown but I'm truly terrified cause of my past that it is set that I'm bi or lesbian and just was too stupid to know it.
Only girls reply please 😁 just feel better that way So basically I’m feeling quite insecure for still being a virgin at 17 and I keep telling myself to not be so upset by what society expects of me but I literally can’t help it. Apart from a dumb relationship when I was 14, and a few pecks with boys when playing spin the bottle these last few years, I’m never been intimate with a guy. And it just makes me feel really shit about myself. I KNOW it shouldn’t matter at all but I can’t shake it off. And beyond this, I’m also worried I’ll use a guy one day just to gain experience and that’s a horrible thing to do. I always sorta told myself that before university, I’d go abroad with friends and just go wild, but if it’s all because I’m insecure, then that’s not fair on any of the guys I’d be with. At all. So what am I meant to do? At this point, I just wanna lose it and move forwards, or become more confident!! Losing it would make me feel good (but guilty because I fear I’d be using the person) yet confidence is such a long journey.
I know I shouldn’t be posting because it’s a compulsion, but I don’t believe that I have OCD. This is my only theme and it’s lasted on and off since I was 12. During that time I’ve had my first kiss, lost my virginity, graduated from both high school and college, and still I am terrified that I’m attracted to women. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD more times than I can count but when I tell people I have it, I feel like a fraud. I’ve been told I give gay vibes, I don’t always get fully wet when I have sex, and I’ve never had an orgasm with a partner— only alone. It’s not like I don’t have sexual experience either; I’ve had sex with ten people. I’m 21 (almost 22) now and feel like the only way out of this is by accepting that I’m a lesbian and I’ve just had a harder time accepting it than your average person. It’s been almost 10 years…I see no other possibility. I’d really appreciate if any other women that have struggled with this for a long time could talk.
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