Is it really ROCD/Relationship anxiety?

Sometimes I look at my bf of 1 yr and 6 months, and I question if I'm attracted to him physically, which then makes me question if I'm in love with him. Sometimes I look at him and think he is cute and there is a level of attraction. Our relationship is so much more than that though. Our values align and we are emotionally connected. He makes me feel so loved and adored. Then I feel guilty and ask myself if I love and adore him as much as he does me. We have talked about marriage in the future. We are both in our late 30s and have never been married to anyone nor do either of us have kids. We both desire kids and have shared interests for the future. But the attraction thing where I feel it and then don't and then get confused about my love for him, is really scaring me. Does anyone know if this could be ROCD or Relationship anxiety?

Relationship OCD

daisy1728383

Date posted: 2y

Hi my boyfriend has rocd and struggled with same thing, as for someone like me who dosent have it I very rarely feel overwhelmed with love or attraction towards him. feelings come and go and especially if you have rocd I wouldn’t worried too much as long as you’re in a healthy relationship

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

Thank you, it helps to know others go through this too. It is definitely a healthy (aside from me having these issues) relationship and there's alot of love shown.

daisy1728383

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 Fun fact you only get rocd in relationships that have potential and healthy. Doubts are normal we all get them with with ocd get more and struggle with them don’t think to deep into them before u fall down the rabbit hole ocd as it just gets worse and worse and worse so please try sit with these feelings don’t try work out what they mean tell urself maybe I don’t love him and move on if you did that for few months instead of trying work it out you will be a much much better position mentally wise and relationship wise. My boyfriend struggled with rocd for 2 years we did everything wrong at the start got good therapy recovery is possible it’s not easy but u can do it ❤️

Iamtheonewho...

Date posted: 2y

@daisy1728383 Thank you for this ! Thank you for giving your bf a chance ! Rocd sucks and trust me we fucking hate it ! We would love to just be normal ! We would love to just love our partners without hesitation or doubts ! People like your bf and I would do anything and everything we could for our people , but then get lost inside the doubts ! Thank you for giving him a chance ! I hope my gf will do the same! She has been for the most part ! But I still hate my thoughts and ideas some times !

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

How long have you been with your bf?

daisy1728383

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 2.5 years

Iamtheonewho...

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 I know it’s super normal , but that’s a long time, that’s awesome you guys have been together that long, but we as humans will always get weird thoughts it’s only natural, so you thinking you’re not attracted to him could be an intrusive thought that your letting spiral out of control.. I remember getting that with my gfs I’ve been with for a while, we’re human and not monogamous by nature so I’d get those thoughts to accompanied but the temporary feeling and I let it go and I’d be back to feeling love and attraction, so it’s totally fine to think that way just don’t let it consume you ! Laugh at it when your going through it try not to answer the uncertainty, sit with the thought accept it and let it move on! You can do it !

daisy1728383

Date posted: 2y

I probs feel once a week love a strong feeling of love towards him , I know he’s attractive but question it sometimes too myself someone who dosent have rocd not to worry

Mariabae

Date posted: 23w

scary rocd

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.

Elliesmith

Date posted: 21w

I keep worrying that I don’t fancy my bf enough

Is this rocd??? I can’t stop worrying whether this is how I should feel in a relationship. For 5 years prior I never worried about this stuff. But now I’m just so anxious. I find myself looking at him checking to see if I find him attractive. And then when I look at him and dont feel anything I worry this means something … so overthinking I hate it .

Relationship OCD

B4ll_Tongue26

Date posted: 21w

ROCD?

Is this ROCD? My girlfriend spent the night yesterday and we were cuddling when I felt that I may have not felt attraction towards her anymore. I started to freak out, because I felt that I hated her and didn't love her. When we would kiss I would get an uneasy feeling, like that I didn't want this relationship. I know I do, but it's freaking me out, it's like I can't even feel emotions towards her specifically anymore. I've been so distracted by this problem, I feel I'm also lacking attention towards her. I've been on my phone a lot during her stay because I've just been trying to distract myself. It hurts really bad, and I feel like a rude bitch.

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Is it really ROCD/Relationship anxiety?

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