Hi everyone, I have been doing ERP for a little over two months, and while my SUDS scores and quality of life has improved, this past week it seems as though my harm-OCD is coming back despite doing my homework on a regular basis. I do feel discouraged and more depressed. I even feel like I had to cut back and do easier exposures. Does anybody else experience this?
Hi, don't consider it a setback. Recovery is not linear, it's messy. You reported that you're better off now than when you began. You have to look at the sum of the whole, not what's going on right now. The reason why it's coming back is that this disorder is trying to get you back on its treadmill BECAUSE you're improving. Therapy takes time. We all want to recover as quickly as possible, but with OCD therapy patience is a virtue. Don't be disappointed and don't give up. You're doing fine.
I do want to say thank you for your advice! It gave me encouragement to do a relatively hard exposure I did not think I can do!
Sometimes though it can be very hard to accept uncertainty with my harm-OCD obsessions. I feel like I am spiraling a little bit and need time to relax.
I, too, am recovering from harm OCD and I can assure you that it's important for you to stick with your ERP tools. You need to keep in mind that with ERP therapy many of us feel worse before we feel better because, like I wrote before, OCD is fighting your recovery. No matter how uncomfortable and how we naturally want to avoid it, it's okay to sit in discomfort until it passes, because it WILL pass. My therapist told me it actually makes us stronger when we stand up to OCD and are willing to experience discomfort for awhile. I know in my own therapy journey I find that the longer I stand up to the disorder, do my ERP work and accept the discomfort the fewer and milder the flare ups I experience. But it does take time and work. Trust me, it's worth it.
Good for you! You're on your way to recovery! Contact me anytime if you want to talk.
@Steven55! Thank you! I feel like I am under a little stress because the next two days I will have to spend at my grandmas house because I have family coming in to visit and they will be sleeping in my bed. I love my grandma so so much the only thing is she doesn’t understand OCD and has been a little bit angry when she sees me having a bad moment. It is so hard to describe to her what exactly is going on in my head.
Totally understandable. I'm nearly 68 and have had it in one manifestation or another all my life. No one had a clue about OCD when I was a kid, and for most of my adulthood. It wasn't until I found NOCD did I really begin to recover. Just use your ERP tools while you're visiting your grandma and know you'll be home in a few days.
@Steven55! That’s true! I will enjoy my time with her and I can even do easier exposures if I don’t feel up to doing harder ones.
@AdamDay I do remember my therapist saying that there is nothing wrong with taking a step back from doing exposures and doing self-care. Maybe I should do that?
I don't know, Adam, that's a question for your therapist. Do try to do some common things that can be helpful, such as a proper amount of sleep, exercise, hobbies etc. I have found that when I just take a brisk walk it helps settle me down.
@Steven55! Hi Steven! My therapist did say that there is nothing wrong with taking a step back from doing exposures if I am feeling overwhelmed. I felt like I was doing okay for a while but I do feel like my OCD is trying to fight my recovery again and I am sort of spiraling again. I am doing my exposures on a regular basis but don’t see too much progress overall.
How long have you been OCD therapy?
I have been in therapy since the end of March
Okay, now I understand. Adam, what's happening is since you're using ERP to get to recovery OCD is fighting you, even more than usual, because you're resisting compulsion. It's very, very common. Happened to me big-time. Guess what, I know this sounds weird but it means you're on the road to recovery. OCD wants to keep you on that treadmill, and you're trying to get off of it. Listen to your therapist, but know you are actually on the road to recovery.
@Steven55! I did do a really, really hard exposure with my therapist and I am definitely proud of myself for doing that, but I still feel like I am recovering from that experience many hours later.
@AdamDay - Not to worry, it happens. You're doing fine. I would love to hear from you down the road. I wager you'll be much happier!
@Steven55! Thank you so much Steven for your support and advice!
I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.
Hi everyone. I'm feeling kinda scared because I have to wait a whole month to start ERP therapy, but I feel like I need to start doing exposures now because the longer I wait, the more anxiety I get. It just feels like the OCD monster is getting worse. One thing that helps me is asking one person about an obsession I have...asking a person that I trust, and then doing an exposure after I get the "ok" to do it. I feel like I do need 1 reassurance and then I can go ahead and do it. I know i'm not supposed to ask for reassurance at all, but i dont think you're supposed to do ERP on your own right? Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do while waiting for therapy? PS-the reason there is a wait is bc she's on vacation. After she's back we will meet regularly.
I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️
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