Hi this is my first post. I have been struggling with this theme for awhile now. I am seeing a therapist here and it’s a work in progress. But does anyone else really struggle with this OCD theme? I feel like I am the only one sometimes. It’s causing me so much panic 24/7.
I have this it’s literally the worst thing ever
@Paola! I honestly feel like it’s the worst one. Are you doing ERP therapy?
@missjab Yes I am and it has helped a bit. I’m a lot better than I was at first but it still gets hard from time to time. What scares you the most about this theme?
@Paola! The uncertainty about developing it and I am scared of the thought of a mental illness that takes over your life and how debilitating it truly is. I think deep down that’s the core of it.
@missjab I feel the same exact way I’ve had this theme multiple times throughout my teenage years and it has gone away but it somehow comes back.
@Paola! Can I ask what worked for you to recover from this theme? Or any helpful advice?
@missjab For me the hardest part of this theme was getting intrusive thoughts that would mimic delusions. I would basically tell myself delusional stuff and if I would get scared my brain would automatically tell me i believed these thoughts and i had schizophrenia. What i do when I get these thoughts I’d remind myself that I’m completely safe and having those thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean you have schizophrenia. Also, try your best to stop looking out for noises and convincing yourself you’re hearing things. Most people with this theme will look out for the smallest sounds and think they’re hallucinating because others can’t hear it but you have to remind yourself not everyone is specifically listening to see if they hear something that isn’t there. You’re just super hyper aware of your thoughts and everything you hear and see due to this theme so anything and everything will scare you. The mere fact that you’re worried about it is a sign that you do not have schizophrenia. People with the disorder completely believe that what they think/see/hear is real and have no doubt in it.
@Paola! Reading this actually made me feel seen and understood. Thank you for sharing. I really thought i was the only one with this. I am going through the exact same thing at the moment with the intrusive delusional thoughts and freaking myself out if I am hearing anything. It’s like my OCD is going through every symptom of schizophrenia trying to convince me. It’s horrible like I am trying to fight with my own brain and wants me to doubt myself.
@Paola! Oh my gosh, this sounds exactly like me. I’m going through hell right now fighting these “delusional” intrusive thoughts, sometimes they feel very real
@missjab This is a link to a post I just made about it, can you let me know if your case was similar? https://nocd.page.link/jcohdvYrjHmaQmCKA
@mrselfdestruct1994 Hi, I can’t see the link
@mrselfdestruct1994 I completely understand how you feel, I always would get so scared when I would get a “delusional” intrusive thought because they felt so real and i felt like i completely believed them, I’m sorry you’re going through this but I’m very certain you can overcome this. If you haven’t already watched this video I recommend you to watch it. https://youtu.be/uao5xAfbG88?si=eC0qSd_77_DhbiC5. The comments were very relatable and made me feel better.
@missjab Not sure why the link won’t work but I will just copy and paste my words from the post here: Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.
@Paola! I know it’s a bit long but I’m going to copy and paste my most recent post here, could you read over it and tell me if it sounds similar to what you went through? Here it is: Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.
@mrselfdestruct1994 Yes! I went through the exact same thing. My thoughts were like “they want to kill you” “they’re poisoning you” “your family has been possessed” I was in such a deep derealization episode that i truthfully would catch myself thinking I wasn’t real or that nothing was real. These thoughts felt very real like I actually felt like I was going to believe them but I also had that doubt like why was I thinking this if it was completely absurd? I can completely relate with what you’re going through.
@Paola! Have you recovered from this? Have the thoughts gone away for you?
@mrselfdestruct1994 Yes they have completely gone away, I’ve been in recovery for about 10 months now.
@mrselfdestruct1994 Keep in mind I felt hopeless like they would never go away and that I was always going to suffer, that’s not true I’m doing so much better now.
@Paola! One more thing, and it was all just ocd right? You were never actually diagnosed with a psychotic dirsorder?
@mrselfdestruct1994 Yes it was all just ocd. As soon as the obsession went away so did the thoughts. I was never diagnosed with anything besides OCD.
Remember if you’re worrying about being “insane” that should be a clear indicator that you are sane. I know ocd tries to convince you of so many things but remember that you’re sane! You have anxiety and ocd and that’s okay. I hope everything works out for you and as for me I’m working on this theme too but we got this trust me I have got over it before and I will again and so can you! ♥️
@Paola! Thank you for kindly sharing! It’s been a battle with this but I do believe we can overcome it! You gave me hope 🤍🤍
Is it about being afraid of getting psychosis or having schizo… then i know there is alot of people have had this theme! Don’t worry you’re not alone!
@Ohhnoooocd Yea it’s the fear of developing it. My OCD mind plays tricks on me thinking I have it. I hate it. I just don’t hear too many people talk about this
@missjab But you Can’t develop schizo because of this… schizo is in your genes.. or comes if you ha a addiction to drugs for example
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
This is my first post, so I apologize if the formatting is weird. I experience existential ocd I always struggled as a kid but learned more and more how to manage with school and such forcing me to learn how, now I experience a lot of overwhelming intrusions from when I wake up to when I go to bed (simply because I live and work in the same place it gets cabin feverish) but now more often going out maybe it’s just paranoia, I walk into a place and each person comes with a story immediately, every piece of trash on the floor, every piece of produce, each isle is a brand new way I could get into a life altering situation. I’ve managed well enough but sometimes I just completely lose my original objective and just leave or I’ll wanna leave my house but everything that goes with it and that could happen pops up and I just won’t go. It’s started to become avoidant behavior. Any help or similar stories? I just feel like I’m going crazy but my thoughts are so scattered and immediate it’s hard to break the habit and not spin a story. Thank yall!
I have been having these fears about developing schizophrenia, it reached a point where i am starting to almost hear things or the smallest sounds and my mind tells me you're schizophrenic, and i feel this weird sensations in my ear as if someone is whispering yet i can barely hear them, the thing is i am not diagnosed yet because i never work with an OCD therapist but i study psychology so i just used what i learnt to give a meaning to my suffering, many themes of this fear have been happening before and this schizophrenia fear is the last one. I want to know what advice you can give me or ways to make my brain calm down a little bit, i also don't have and can't afford a therapist that's why i am here in the first place I also want to know more informations or experiences with this theme if anyone habe experienced it and what helped you with it I remember feeling better for a while but than i collapsed back, but i am hoping to get better soon too or anytime in the future, I don't want reassurance so make sure you be as real as you can, and thanks 🙏🏻
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