- Date posted
- 2y
Can somebody please respond to my previous post
I’m sorry to be annoying but I feel like a horrible girlfriend and I really don’t want to break up with my boyfriend but I’m afraid it’s not fair to him
I’m sorry to be annoying but I feel like a horrible girlfriend and I really don’t want to break up with my boyfriend but I’m afraid it’s not fair to him
Omg! It’s like you are reading my mind! I’ve been going through the EXACT same thing. I ended up telling my bf about it, which helped me a little bit, but the thoughts are still there. The fact that we are having the exact same thoughts makes me feel that we are both deep into ROCD. Obviously, I’m not a therapist, but that’s what it sounds like. I’m going to get therapy for this soon, and hopefully I can get some answers as to how to confront this. I hope you get some answers soon, too!
@songbird1 Oh wow that’s crazy I’m glad we can relate! I have told my boyfriend before too that I overthink when he isn’t looking his best and it helps me to not feel like I’m lying to him so much that way although it could probably easily become a compulsion for us. Are you planning on seeing a therapist that specializes in OCD? I’ve had my therapist for years for general talk therapy and he hasn’t been super helpful with ocd-oriented stuff even though I literally have every symptom of rocd
@spookycupcake Same here! I booked a free call for today, so yes!
@songbird1 I’ve thought about doing a free NOCD call but I haven’t yet. Hope it goes well!
@spookycupcake It went well! You should do it!
@songbird1 That’s awesome I think I’ll save it for the next time I’m struggling really badly
I couldn’t find the previous post. Can you copy and paste it here?
@songbird1 I felt so much better, like I was really recovering but then I got another spike again where I was really triggered a week or so ago about one of my friendships and removed him (the friend) from everything and since then I have been getting triggered about past flings and stuff. I also noticed my sex drive went down and the weird part is I feel like I’ve had less attraction and felt less towards my boyfriend since then too but without much anxiety about it :( it’s such an uncomfortable feeling and I think the reason I haven’t had much anxiety about it is because I tell myself it’s okay and normal. But idk if it really is. I often don’t think my boyfriend looks that good whether it’s his face or his body and it makes me so sad I know it would break his heart. It feels like I’m deceiving him because it happens even when I’m not going through an anxiety spike. And because at the beginning of our relationship we had this whole conflict where he felt like I wasn’t sexually attracted to him. His body type wasn’t my “type” so maybe I really wasn’t but I told him it wasn’t true until I finally confessed and said his body wasn’t my type but I grew more attracted to him when I fell in love with him because I saw an article where someone had that happen and I felt like it clicked with me but WHAT IF I JUST SAID IT BECSUSE IT WAS THE EASY ANSWER WHAT IF INWAS NEEVER ATTRACTED TO HIM But then sometimes when I feel like I’m in a mentally healthy state, it doesn’t matter to me when I don’t think he looks good and I’m happy and have butterflies when he looks really cute. But it just feels like it’s way too often that I don’t think he looks good 🙁
I know right now i shouldnt ask for reassurance... and that its unhealthy... but right now i am so triggered by the events on my previous post and I just need someone to respond so so basly...
Ugh...my boyfriend of 2 years just told me that things need to change because neither of us are happy with the way things have been going this is what he said to me "I don’t know just affection I guess. I want to hug and kiss my girlfriend and I want HER to want to hug and kiss me. And yeah sex is awesome. I get it’s not a requirement and it’ll never be for me, I get that’s been a big struggle for you in the past year but like it was a really big part of our relationship starting out and I do feel like it brings us closer personally. But maybe that’s just me. And a compliment or two every now and then would be kinda nice. It’s not that you never do that’s not true at all but I feel like it’s been continually less and less. And I try to at least give you a couple every day. This is by no means a bashing of you Ky I know you’re going through a lot I really do trust me. I’m very proud of the effort you’ve put in. I just want to work on getting back to the point where I get what I give and vice versa that’s all. And remember sometimes you might only be able to give 90 percent and that’s okay, that’s life. There will be times where I can only give 90 too" - I am so scared nobody will ever want me or wanna be in a relationship with me. I am so scared he is breaking up with me
sorry for the long post, if anyone would like to read and give me some advice i’d really appreciate it. i have something i have been keeping from my boyfriend. it’s nothing in relation to cheating or doing something bad behind his back. it’s something that happened before we started dating. it was when me and my “ex” (i rebounded before my current bf and yes, im very very ashamed of it) were a thing. me and him broke up relatively amicably but me being in general contact with him made my bf uncomfortable. it was a whole thing and in conclusion, i took accountability for my ignorance. i cut him off, wasn’t upset about it at all but there were some issues that still posed a problem in my relationship and it was what me and my “ex” did sexually and how long we were together. me and my bf started dating a few months after my rebound and he was under the impression that the time inbetween was longer. in the moment, i expressed i sincerely thought i told him how long it was and answered his questions about what we did sexually. but i forgot to mention one thing until it was too late. i promised i would tell him if i remembered anything and now that i have, i’ve recently been feeling REALLY guilty for withholding it. i absolutely hate thinking and talking about my rebound. i’m embarrassed by it. i’m trying to be better and move on from that general era of my life. and to a point i have. my bf is wonderful and nothing but good and loving. but over time i’ve become afraid to bring up stuff like this and tick him off. i find his reaction extreme in situations where i’m genuinely confused about what i’ve done. i’m a really anxious person and i try not to let it get in my way or his way of processing everything and resolving it. but its hard. coming from a bad relationship previously (before the rebound) i have a lot of issues to resolve within and outside of my relationship but right now, i don’t know what to do. i’m deathly afraid of bringing it up and him deciding to end us. again, sorry for the long rant. i had to get this off my chest somehow but i wanna know how to go about it. thanks guys
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