I really want to be in love with my girlfriend it makes me so stressed out because I don’t know if it’s ROCD or not. She’s so nice and sweet and she always has the best intentions but my brain is tricking me into thinking that I don’t like her anymore. The only thing I think about all day is if I love her or not, why do I love her, would being with someone else be better and I’ve been dealing with it for 6 months now and it hasn’t really gotten better. I think about being in other relationships with other people and it seems so real to the point where I would be happy or better off that way but it does end up making me anxious. I hate it so much and I just want to be happy again and I feel so lost. I’ve been on 20mg of Prozac for a little over a week and it hasn’t really done much and I used to be on 100mg of Sertraline but I switched because it wasn’t doing anything anymore. Ever since I’ve been on the Prozac I felt worse, the OCD/depression/anxiety has been awful, I haven’t been able to sleep well or eat and I feel so out of it and not myself. I’ve tried therapy and I didn’t really experience any help and at this point I really don’t know what to do. Also I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense

You just switched your meds, so I’d give them a few more weeks before determining if they work or not. You mentioned therapy, but I’m wondering if your therapist was an OCD specialist? Most regular therapist don’t know what to do with Pure O specifically. Everything you shared seems like pretty standard ROCD to me. I see people sharing similar stories on here every day. So just know you’re not alone. At this point I think it will be impossible to figure out your “true feelings” because (1) OCD has blocked them and (2) you’ve spent the past 6 months analyzing your relationship rather than having it. You’re going to have to stop analyzing. Your compulsions seem mental: checking, analyzing, comparing, testing. To beat OCD you’ll have to stop responding to the questions about whether you love her or if you’d rather be with someone else. Acknowledge them and then tell them you won’t be answering right now and sit with whatever anxiety or distress that causes until it naturally dissipates. Then move on. It will be hard at first but you’ll get better at it. This will take awhile. But after you’ve stopped answering and started being able to be present in your relationship again, you’ll have a much clearer picture of your real feelings, and you won’t need to analyze them to figure them out. But right now, all of your energy needs to switch from figuring out the answers to resisting answering the questions.