Compulsions

Does anyone else find that their compulsions actually make their OCD/obsession worse? I don’t mean in the obvious way, like that it strengthens the OCD cycle, I mean in the way that when I perform my compulsions, they make my anxiety so much worse in the moment. My main compulsions are ruminating, arguing with my thoughts, and memory reviewing, but they all just end up giving me more intrusive thoughts/questions, making my anxiety more intense, and making me think my intrusive thoughts are real. I’ve always read that you perform compulsions because they bring you relief, and I suppose for me, they more make me feel like I’m working towards “solving the issue” or “answering my question”, so then is that my version of “relief”? In reality, it just makes my anxiety worse because the more I ruminate/memory review, the more jumbled together and foggy my thoughts/memories become, which in turn makes me think that if I ruminate/memory review just a little more, I’ll be able to “push through that fog” and find my answer, which then also causes me anxiety because my brain feels foggy and hence makes completing my compulsions/figuring out my obsession impossible (which I guess is good because I’m not supposed to complete my compulsions). All of this is making me believe that I don’t have OCD and that my intrusive thoughts are true and that’s why I can’t shake them and that’s why I feel the need to figure them out and why I feel so foggy… Or is this just meta OCD playing it’s devious tricks on me? Has anyone else experienced this or is this not OCD and I should be concerned that my obsession is true?

This is probably related to ocd, I don’t know. I’ve had obsessions about doing bad prayers. It has led to me doing some as tests I think or actually doing them. It got so complicated that I decided “I will do any prayer good or bad that comes into my head,” and I basically started constantly doing every bad prayer I could think of, thinking of why I’d want it, etc. I feel crappy, because I believe I meant some of them, which I wasn’t supposed to care about when doing this. It makes me feel like a bad person. This could be erp too, I don’t know, but I basically just compulsively let my mind go to the absolute worst places it has been and can go with no filter

Why did the compulsion/test people told me I did felt very wanted in the moment. But then I regret it now and afterwards. Still a compulsion, correct? It just didn't feel like a compulsion, but then again I don't know what those feel like