Are there any moms out there who are struggling with pocd? I wanted a child my whole life since I was a little girl but pocd is ruining everything. Can anyone share their story?
I understand how you feel because I’ve always wanted to settle down and have a kid eventually with my partner but now I feel like I don’t deserve any of that and feel so scared about it now. I read a story on here about a mom who had POCD with a couple of kids and reading her story did make me feel a bit better about the whole thing
i don’t have a story but for the longest time i wanted to be a mother soooo bad, i wanted a big family and would have happily got pregnant anytime, it was the one thing i wanted most in the world. and then pocd came and it completely made me not want kids because i’m so scared of hurting them :(. but then i realised that i shouldn’t let ocd dictate my life. one day i will have kids, it will be hard, but i’ll be able to do it. and so will you ❤️ don’t let pocd take away your dreams. you can do it lovely, and you’ll be an amazing mum and will love that child so much. you’re stronger than what your pocd says xx
@PoWarrior This honestly made me emotional, thank you so much for this❤️.
Hi! I’m a mom who has pocd. It’s very hard I’ve always cared for kids and I never had bad thoughts about them but starting 2020 I started having terrible thoughts surrounding kids I remember the first thought I had I was terrified I was saying to myself omg no and it gradually got worse I even told my mom I need to get help for these thoughts and I never specified what the thoughts were because I was ashamed i eventually told my husband about my thoughts and they lessened for awhile then once I had a baby almost 7 months ago he’s the best he’s an awesome baby but I started having terrible thoughts and images about him and I’ve struggled to change his diaper or give him a bath unbuckle the bottom clasp of his seatbelt it’s been so hard to take care of him because it gives me so much anxiety because I always feel like I’m doing something wrong I genuinely think I’m just a normal mom who has ocd and it has really attacked who I am as a person because I care about kids and I’ve always wanted a baby this subset of ocd is very stigmatized people I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I just try to make it through the day but i believe I’ll be fully recovered one day. I hope this helped ! You’ll be fine when you have a baby but I do recommend therapy before having a baby. Sorry if my reply is kinda all over the place wishing you luck in recovery
@Feeling sad like I should How are you doing now??
POCD has been the worst thing I've ever been through. I feel like I have always sort of experienced it but not to the degree I do now. I used to plan being a mother to a beautiful family. Now I don't know if I'll ever have children at the risk of having a girl. I used to have intrusive thoughts that would make me feel weird but I could just move on from them. That was until I had to babysit my niece and change her diaper. I want to throw up thinking about it. I got a horribly strong groinal response and I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand why it was happening. It bothered me all day that day and later on I did the disgusting deed of testing myself. I regret it everyday. It's a horrible compulsion and it haunts me. I tested if I was getting off to the thought of her. And of course there was stimulation because of the groinal response. But I hated doing it. I just felt like I had to be sure. After that and since then I haven't wanted to be around her. I stopped planning being a mother, I stopped watching cute baby videos like I used to enjoy because they trigger disgusting intrusive thoughts. After a while I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend and haven't done anything with for months because the thoughts take over and make me feel like I may enjoy the deed more if I was thinking of children. I worry that maybe I do enjoy these thoughts and I'm just denying it. I wish I could be sure. I feel so disgusting and ugly, I've never hated myself this much. It takes over most of my days. I wish I had never changed her diaper. Some times in moments of clarity I am so sure that I'm not a predator, but when I am vulnerable OCD sneaks back in and tells me I enjoy my thoughts and that I should think them. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I have to test. I wish I could stop. It ruins my entire week. I feel like a monster. I want to love my life again. I miss life before this. I feel so hopeless most of the time and I can't imagine a way out. I'm scared to start therapy because what if I found out I am a monster? I can't live like that. I won't. I want to cry and scream. Am I alone in this?
I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldn’t necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like I’m missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like it’s completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancé knew that I didn’t want children/ feel like I can’t have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that “people who are abused can become abusers”. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that I’m missing out. So I’m constantly questioning if I truly feel like I don’t want them or if ocd is convincing me I don’t. Ugh. It’s just so frustrating.
Just to preface this, I’d like to say that I in no way whatsoever intend to judge parents of ocd children or people with ocd that have children. I honestly mean no disrespect with this post, I just really don’t know what to think or do. I wish the best for all of your families, and for all of you struggling with ocd as well. Please don’t let my post influence how you think, all I need is advice if anyone can give me it. Feel free to skip if this is an uncomfortable topic for you. Thank you! I’ve had ocd since I was young, but I hadn’t started thinking about this until recently. I heard that you have a 15-20% chance of passing ocd down to your child. I used to be really uncomfortable at the thought of being pregnant and often had intrusive thoughts trying to convince me I somehow was. I finally got past this and began to look forward to being a mother someday, but now I don’t know. I can’t imagine not having kids, but I’m scared that they’ll have ocd like me. It’s not a crazy high percentage but it still scares me. On one hand I’m like hey, who better to help their kid if they have ocd than a mom who has ocd? But on the other I worry that if they have it, it could worse than mine and that they’ll have a really hard time dealing with it. I hate to say this but it feels a little bit selfish to want to have kids when there’s a chance they’ll get the same disorder I hate so much. Both me and my sister have ocd as well, so I’m scared it’s something that runs in my family. Any advice would be appreciated.
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