OCDduck
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
You can rant! OCD is so confusing. And it’s hard to find people with this specific theme. Since my theme started I have tried identifying as non-binary or genderqueer (privately, never coming out) but I never felt sure. My intrusive thoughts made it impossible to know because they would scream at me that I was lying and had to “admit” who I really was. So I would admit it to myself over and over (hello compulsions) and then at the end I’d start feeling like a woman again. But only briefly because the whole cycle would repeat. It can never settle on an identity that will last so I go about my day feeling like any number of identities at any given moment depending on what my intrusive thoughts are doing. Right now I’m doing my best to feed each question with uncertainty and just let the thoughts run. Some days are better than others. But the good days always seem to be the ones where I feel like a woman, so I’m trying to take that as a bigger “sign” than all the thoughts that make me doubtful and anxious and scared. If you feel good and confident and alive when you identify as non binary and the idea of being NOT non binary scares you and throws you into endless doubts and feels like something you’re being pulled into against your will like your mind is being hijacked: you’re non binary. The rest is OCD. Also I think any good psychologist should accept how you identify, regardless of having OCD. If you came in saying “I’m afraid I’m non binary” then they would be right to question it. But if you say “I am non binary, but I get scared I’m not” they should know that you in fact are non binary and the other part is the OCD.
blairwblairw
- Date posted
- 6y
Me except I’m straight and female and worry that I’m not...
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
?? currently suffering gender identity OCD but I’m worrying I’m a trans man when I’ve identified as a woman my whole life. How’s it going for you?
OCDduckOCDduck
- Date posted
- 6y
In the past I identified as straight female, but I know that OCD can make you think you’re things you’re not, that’s why I worry I’m not pansexual and not non-binary, especially since I’ve come out too. It isn’t my worse subtype of OCD but does trigger my other subtypes, which is annoying. I started treatment female, worrying I was trans or non-binary, but now it’s the other way around. And I don’t want to tell my psychologist that I’m non-binary, because I’m worried they’ll tell me it’s OCD talking... sorry for the mini rant, it’s kinda been bottling up inside me
Related posts
ermhiiii
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi
I just recently kind of was getting over my Constant spiral of “am I a lesbian or bi?”(im a lesbian) and now I’ve been tackled by “am I trans” even tho I’ve never questioned my gender ever, I love being a woman, and I never thought I’d ever be dealing with this since I’ve always been so sure of being a woman, anybody else?
gwen_weaver
- Date posted
- 16w
am i trans or am i confused?
My boyfriend is ftm, and I’m very supportive of him and his journey with gender. It opened a lot of conversations between us about each others gender/sexuality. I’ve known for a long time that i’m pan, but I’ve struggled a lot with my own gender. My OCD causes me to doubt myself a lot, one day i feel hyper feminine and have no desire to identify as a man, but the next day I am extremely dysphoric about my body/hair/voice and wonder if I’m ftm as well? and then it goes away the next day. Some days I don’t even feel feminine OR masculine. I spend a lot of my time ruminating over if i’m trans, and abt the possibility of me spending the rest of my life either not knowing, or settling for whatever’s easiest for myself and everyone around me. I don’t know if I actually believe I’m a man, or if I’m pretending, or if it’s just in my head. Its like I don’t know what to trust since my opinion is different every day, and it feels like I can’t trust my own intuition. It’s starting to affect my sex drive, my sleep, my self confidence, and my self image. It’s really confusing me and I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has some advice. Thank you:)
polish_germa...
- Date posted
- 9w
I’m scared I might be more sexually attracted to women and more romantically to men
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
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