Sometimes I feel like my partner is a trigger, if that makes any sense. Like he does everything right and is so sweet but when I FaceTime him I get triggered. Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone?
Me too, he is so patient with me and kind. I guess I’m not used to it because I don’t treat myself that way. I always get mad at myself when I feel I mess up, am awkward, or don’t look how I want.
@trin.infinite Like he doesn’t do anything wrong and is so understanding but my OCD sees him as a trigger and I just wish it would leave him alone
@Anxiety girl I think trying to confront those thoughts with unexpected answers may help. Like, if you have a thought that he is lying to you when he is understanding, just say “not true” or “he is awesome” “he loves me” instead of ruminating. It takes lots of practice, but eventually may help. I am trying to do that. I definitely understand that it is a battle of the mind and you have to counter your intrusive thoughts.
@trin.infinite Thank you so much for the advice it really means a lot. I hope it’s starting to work for you and I hope you find peace soon :)
Ofc! I just realized recently that I may have OCD, I used to think it was anxiety, but anxiety meds weren’t fixing the issue and I noticed I was constantly ruminating and distracting myself. I found this app when I found a YouTube channel called: OCD and Anxiety. The owner of the channel promoted it. Check out the videos.
@trin.infinite I was first diagnosed with anxiety and was put on lexapro, I would say I’m not screaming crying anymore but it definitely doesn’t make the thoughts go away, which was expected! I think seeing a therapist while on medication was super helpful for me. I still find my self ruminating a lot but I try to stay in the present as much as I can!
@Anxiety girl I was put on Lexapro then Effexor. For some reason, it seemed they didn’t help me much. My dad suggested exercise because part of it could be pent up energy. I’m going to visit my doctor soon and talk to her about other medication options and hopefully I find a therapist soon. I am moving states from MN to Hawaii at the end of July so idk if I should find one online through this app or in-person.
@trin.infinite Look at mindful care for therapy. It’s online and it’s what I used and I really like it. Easy to set up as well! Other medications I’ve heard of is Wellbutrin and Zoloft I would look into those!
@Anxiety girl Thank you for this advice. I’ve never done online therapy before so this is a good suggestion! I will mention those to my doctor. My doctor’s appointment is July 5th, so I hope I can get through these next couple weeks ok.
@trin.infinite I wish you the best of luck! If you can keep me updated on how it goes!
@Anxiety girl I will! I definitely am advocating for myself and others to feel better. Keep me updated on you and what you learn in therapy. ( :
@trin.infinite Yes of course!!
Yeah it makes sense since ROCD targets people and relationships important to us.
Totally normal! It happens to me too
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
Does anyone else get like super irritated with their partner due to fixation? I get irritated that my partner can’t run well… or that he is not socially the same as some other men that I thought I would be with. We connect extremely well we hang out well he’s a wonderful guy he’s funny, but sometimes I just get irritated at mannerisms the way he talks etc. I feel HORRIBLE I’m afraid I don’t like him as much… this is horrendous for me
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