i recovered from sexual orientation OCD — AMA ✰

@proton13 ofc !! i used exposure and response prevention. i sat down and thought about my obsession, and WHY i was scared of it occurring. i then created a hierarchy list of activities i could do with what would trigger those fears, from less stressful to MAX. i then worked through them, as well as giving myself rewards when i felt minimized anxiety (ex. candy !!). i also made sure to give myself rest and relax when needed.

@yoyo22 that’s a really good question !! i would recommend NOT doing that 💗 it would hurt the other person in the “relationship” since you’re just using them as an exposure ! here were some of my favorite ones : — put a pride flag sticker on your phone or computer ! — come out online ex. tiktok comments or on a discord server with people you don’t know — pretend you’re in an interview being asked how you knew you were that sexuality — listen to lgbtq music and podcasts !

@maeveflop hey !! i’m so glad to meet a fellow queer person on this app, especially since we have so much in common 💗💗 here’s the best outline i can give : — sit down and realize WHY you’re scared of your obsession. why does being attracted to men upset you? is it loss of community? having to come out again? make a note. — write a list of events that would trigger this specific worry. for example, if i was scared of losing my lesbian community, i would join a bisexual community on discord or tiktok and get myself to feel like i’m apart of that community. these are exposures, and show you that your worst fears aren’t much to be afraid of because you ARE that strong ⭐️ — list these events from least scariest to scariest, and start completing them! have rest days. i would also advertise giving yourself rewards when you feel your anxiety simmer down.

@ingrid 🎧 For me being attracted to a women would mean i lose myself. I would be experiencing something unwanted and i’m uncomfortable with. I understand that you did erp but then the outcome was your fear was that easy to accept? Do you think that could to me i think it would be the death of me honestly.

@Noodles123 it was really chill for me to accept, since i was recovered for some time when i realized. for answering your personal question — that’s why i would encourage you to go through ERP 💗

@Noodles123 i did experiencefalse attraction, usually to celebrities or some guy friends who were really close to me. OCD looooves making everything feel real, so my attraction to men felt INTENSE while i felt a loss of attraction to women. this made me REALLY upset and was one of my biggest frustrations. i know identify as bisexual, after recovering from OCD, but my attraction to women might be a little bit even more stronger now 💗

@ingrid 🎧 But i’m confused if your feared and hated the thought of liking men so much then did you just finally accept you did? This has kind of scared me what if this happens to me for women?

@Noodles123 i started to identify as bisexual AFTER my OCD recovery 💗 i would encourage you to do exposures on this if it feels it targets your OCD !

@Noodles123 I am afraid of being gay, then I think that it would be better to be bi than gay, as long as I can at least enjoy women again and not do anything about men, and then I think that I don't have to be bi, I don't feel comfortable with duality, I just don't know what happened to my mind that apparently reversed the cables, and every day I want to return more but I feel that what I ask for is not coming

@Noodles123 i understand !! i felt the same way. a lot of my pride was from the fact that i was a lesbian. i loved being apart of lesbian culture, and it made me really upset that it could be taken away from me.

@HongAnh it came in phases. i had false attraction to many different people at many different times. the only exception is when i was dating my girlfriend at the time :).

@HongAnh exposure response prevention !! the #1 treatment for OCD 💗💗

@ingrid 🎧 Can u tell how can u know u recover from ocd

@HongAnh i no longer fit DSM OCD criteria !

@ingrid 🎧 When u did erp, u encountered your triggers, what did u do to advoid complusion

@HongAnh compulsions SEEM involuntary, but they aren’t. we do them on purpose, and we have control over them. all i did to avoid compulsions was to not do them, and braced myself for any anxious moments that came after.

@ingrid 🎧 What were exposures that u did

@HongAnh — wear a pride pin of the sexuality i had OCD around. — join discord communities around that sexuality! — come out to people online. — pretend i was in an interview asking how i knew, how it feels, etc. — simply not pushing any fears away.

@Carlos A this is a really good question !! it can definitely be a compulsion to seek things you are attracted to AS LONG AS it’s done to reduce the fear of the obsession. this is not always the case, since sometimes we want to partake in things we like just because we like them and want that romantic or sexual gratification that’s independent of OCD. with dating, i think it’s different because there’s another person involved. i dated twice while i had OCD, and although my first girlfriend extinguished 95% of my OCD symptoms, my second girlfriend felt like a giant test to see if i was actually attracted to girls. did i pass the test? yes, i was attracted to her. was it unhealthy and misleading? yes. for dating, i would try to ask yourself if OCD would interfere, and if you’re ready to date. do you want a date or just a fling? are you prepared to disclose your OCD status? would it hurt the other person? is it all just a giant compulsion? i would sit down and journal about it, and see where that takes me.

@ingrid 🎧 Thank you for your answer, I would say that I am somewhat desperate to return and that obscures my genuine desire, currently my knock is a bit complicated and I feel that I accidentally became automatic, deep down I do want to have dates and enjoy them but the issue has been on for so long my head 24/7 that it is impossible not to involve him, and at the same time it depresses me to have to put aside for a while the intention of seeking contact, I don't know if I made myself understand, even if my desire is lower than normal, I want to live with what I want without wasting time, it's hard

@Carlos A it is hard. but i have faith you can recovery and live a happy life. i would reccomend recovering at least for a little bit until you think about romantic commitment — as recovery is a process, and is NOT linear!

@polishgirl this is a good question ! i think they were very different — discovering my sexual orientation was not a disorder and didn’t come with distress, just confusion. sexual orientation OCD was more about “proving” my sexual orientation to myself that is apart of the disorder.