Username: Northern_Downpour

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD about liking a problematic musician

Sorry, this might be very specific. I have this OCD theme where I'm afraid of supporting a problematic artist by accident. I really love music, its my number one coping mechanism and I tend to fixate on musicians that I love. I love learning about the history of my favorite bands or musicians and collecting merch. But I have this fear that I'll find out a musician is problematic and I'll be a bad person for liking them or their music still. I have this one artist I love, hes really helping with my mental health recently and provides me with safety and an escape and im afraid one of these days I'll find out something awful about him and have that ripped away from me. Does anyone else experience this?

Username: ambrOseCDambrOseCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

To me I hear the underlying fear of rejection and cancelation and the shame of not being pure. It’s like the contamination theme only about social purity.

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 1y ago

You're likely right ... I do feel contaminated when it comes to my morality. And my OCD does stem from abandonment fears so you hit the dot. 😭

Username: ambrOseCDambrOseCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Northern_Downpour Obvs ERP. But I’d look at Sheryl Paul’s work and potentially EFT/EMDR around any memories of perceived or real abandonment.

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I have found there is a direct positive correlation between the degree to which I am willing to forgive other people for their mistakes and misdeeds, and the degree to which I am willing to forgive myself. I have found on days where I am feeling more judgmental of others (in a very final sense: “you did this, therefore you are this, entirely, irredeemably, now and forever”), I am actually equally or even more judgmental of myself, which dials up my anxiety and concerns about myself, my past, my sense of self-worth. Days where I accept other people’s mistakes and misdeeds as simple signs of their human nature, I feel much more comfortable with myself. Just something I wanted to share which you may find useful to think about, if this turns out to be true for you too.

Username: Ocd9239Ocd9239

Date posted: 1y ago

I also deal with this, just a couple of days I stopped listening to one of my favorite artists because she said some really gross/disturbing stuff when she was a teenager.

Username: Lassoinmybrainpls Lassoinmybra...

Date posted: 1y ago

Sounds like a core fear of rejection or societal ostracism. Let me ask you something, would someone listening to an artist that you find personally problematic and deplorable be enough alone for you to not like that other person. The sane and rational answer would be no. Human beings are so complex in nature that it’s impossible to limit us to just good or bad. For example Ghandi liberated India from English forces, but in his personal life he was a domestic abuser and likely worse. Still he liberated India as a collective from an oppressor. Coco Chanel, a famous fashion icon who despite her circumstances became wealthy and well known, and she also indirectly helped with the social progression movement of women. She was also a known anti-Semite and was believed to be a Nazi spy during the Nazi occupation of France. Still she played an important role in fashion and especially women’s role in the fashion industry. As we are capable of doing extreme good we are also capable of doing extreme evil. If liking a potentially problematic artist is the worst thing that you can do in this life, then frankly my friend you are blessed. And if there are people genuinely either in real life or online giving you a hard time about this, then frankly they are losers and need to do something more productive with themselves. Anyone can sit on a high horse like their shit don’t stink or like they’re the most perfect moral person ever. When frankly as long as you’re a human being and not a deity that’s impossible. There’s this expectation for everyone to be perfect past present and future in order to be “deserving” of success in this life. But human beings are just simply imperfect. In general. So who’s right is it to demand perfection when likely themselves are anything but?

Username: ReadyForImprovementReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 1y ago

I haven't had significant OCD issues about this (yet... amiright?!) but I find myself hesitant to "like" things on social sometimes because OCD says "what if that person is problematic normally and just happened to say something you agree with". I don't get too distressed and just dismiss it... which is what you'll want to practice doing when those intrusive thoughts comes up for you! Accept that it's possible, but that until you know that they're not someone you'd support, you'll listen to their music because it is meaningful to you. It's tough at first, but it can get easier with practice.

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 1y ago

You're right, I'll take this to heart. This will be a good chance for exposure. Thank you!

Username: Ocd9239Ocd9239

Date posted: 1y ago

It kinda hurts to completely stop listening to someone who you love once you find out the bad things they did/said

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 1y ago

I dont think you have to stop listening or loving them because of that, everyone does stupid shit when they're teenagers and hell even adults, and they change or don't stand by that. Teenagers are kids. My OCD around this obsession used to be so much worse but once I gave myself more leniency in not expecting perfection in celebrities and acknowledging they all sometimes do bad shit, it felt a lot more freeing. I still struggle with the theme obviously but it's not so bad I can't enjoy any musicians.

Username: Ocd9239Ocd9239

Date posted: 1y ago

@Northern_Downpour Yeah I get that, but if they don't acknowledge their wrong doings in the past and just stay silent. It kind of worries me. Also I loved their music, even if I was caught listening to them only for their music, then someone would call me a bad person and such for supporting a problematic person. When that's not the case at all

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 1y ago

@internetperson I totally get it. Honestly think of it this way. Say someone comes up to you and says you're wearing green. but you're wearing red. YOU know you're wearing red, but they insist you're wearing green. It wouldn't bother you because you know you're wearing red. Just treat it the same with music. YOU know you don't support them or whatever it may be. But someone may say that you are. And to that just ignore them and don't let it bother you because at the end of the day unless theyre just the worst person on the planet, liking a musician is the least of our worlds worries.

Username: Ocd9239Ocd9239

Date posted: 1y ago

@Northern_Downpour Wait but what if you listen to their music from their channel, isn't that basically supporting them?

Username: Northern_DownpourNorthern_Dow...

Date posted: 1y ago

@internetperson Nah, seperate art from artist man listening to it doesn't mean you support the musician.

Username: Ant

Date posted: 6y ago

Hi all, I will try to make it short (and will probably fail). I had my first real bout of pure ocd 15 years ago (I was 15). It started after smoking weed and a sort of depersonalization episode. Back then I did not understand what was happening so I spent almost a year keeping things to myself. The first obsessions I had centered around not being able to tell if I was real, or in a dream which created acute anxiety, I was also afraid of losing my mind as I did not understand what was happening. When I finally talked about it to my parents, they sent me to a therapist but he only wanted to give me meds and I was against it so I had to find another way. Through research and from experience I developed an habit of blocking thoughts that I started to recognize as obsessions by saying "I know this is all in my head". The disorder came and went throughout the years, I had many different themes, homosexual OCD, paedophile OCD, BDD. It was insufferable until I recognized it as a new theme (partly because it was listed as one on wikipedia) and then after a few weeks of telling myself this was just the disorder morphing I started to get better. I got a lot better, I went to study abroad, had the best year of my life, met my girlfriend who is wonderful. I think for three years I barely felt any deep anxiety, at least nothing compared to what I use to feel. But things got out of hand some months ago, I think due to life stressors (having to reconsider my career plans, feeling mike a failure, money and relationship problems). I think I went through a massive depressive episode, I lost interest in my creative passions, I was too anxious to feel anything anyway. I got a bit better but what I struggle with now is kind of hard to shake. See music as always been my main passion and it helped me a lot to get over ocd in the first place. But since this episode, I started to develop a fear of not being able to feel anything, especially toward music. I have tried to treat it as OCD and expose myself to the fear, but I can't help checking my feelings whenever I listen to or make music which I think might be a mental compulsion. I'll just tell myself "oh see you aren't feeling anything" or "you are feeling anxious listening to this song that you use to like so that must mean you don't love music anymore" and it makes me feel really anxious because I feel like it is a part of me dying and of course I can't enjoy the music because I'm constantly judging my feelings. It's kind of tricky because it is not really a typical theme, which maintains the doubt that it might just be real. Although I sort of see it as somewhere between ROCD (the loved one being music) and health OCD (the fear of having damaged my brain because of anxiety and thus being unable to feel joy anymore) So does anyone as ideas about what I should do if I want to use ERP for this thoughts ? Try to accept that maybe I lost my passion ? And do they sound like OCD at all ? Thank you ! (And sorry for the long post.)

Username: Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Musician OCD

I've been a musician for 13 years now, and I have had some incredible moments with it as well as trauma too. My OCD has gotten so intense lately, especially while I'm with my band, that I feel like my only option is to stop doing it for a while. It feels like when I make any progress with it, I take 2 steps backwards. When I'm around them, I can't stop obsessing about how much better looking, smarter, and cooler they are than me. Those things may sound silly, but I truly get engulfed by the pain of OCD in those moments. I just don't know what to do. I know music is an important part of my life, but maybe it's too much for me right now? Especially with all of the other change going on in my life.

Username: Asherose

Date posted: 36w ago

Repetitive OCD

Im just wondering but does anyone else deal with repetitive thoughts and or urges. Recently I’ve been wanting to listen to music but I can’t stop listening to this certain song that’s kinda depressing and I sometimes will have it on loop for hours while I’m worrying about things but I can’t bring myself to listen to another song. Idk what to do, like its a good song but it makes my mental health worse if I obsess over it. Any suggestions on how to handle this? I hope everyone’s having a good day and best of luck to all of you ❤️

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OCD about liking a problematic musician

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