- Date posted
- 2y
Anyone got engaged with ROCD?
I'm curious, anyone here got engaged even WITH ROCD? How did you/ are you working through it?
I'm curious, anyone here got engaged even WITH ROCD? How did you/ are you working through it?
I have had partner focused ROCD for most of my 5 year relationship with my now husband. We got engaged in September 2021 and when he asked me, I was so anxious but still said yes. We got married in April 2022. Pretty much from the engagement up until my wedding day I was really anxious. I even lost 40 lbs from the loss of appetite I was experiencing. After we got married I felt a bit of relief but then I started getting these urges to just run away and start a new life somewhere by myself. I ended up taking a solo trip out of state by myself (with my husband's blessing) and it helped me a lot. I ultimately decided I needed to get on medication and finding the right meds really changed my life. I have been taking Lexapro now for a bit over a year and it has all been going well. I still have ROCD episodes on and off but I feel like I can enjoy my marriage more with meds. There's no right or wrong answer about marriage. You just make a choice and wake up every morning choosing to do it for 1 more day. That's what I try to do at least.
I have so-ocd which has caused ROCD and I’m engaged 🤷🏼♀️
I’m married and been together for 6 years
Would you be ok with sharing how the day you got engaged went?
@Sunshineflowers7 “Do you want to get married?” “Yes!” “Awesome, I love you and now we are engaged.”
@Nica @Nica, what type of ROCD do you have? Is it Partner focused? How did you confidently make that decision with out doubting it?
@Sunshineflowers7 Yes, but I don’t have it anymore as I’m recovered from OCD. If I have an intrusive thought about my husband, I don’t pay any attention to it because it does not matter to me.
i’ve been engaged for 7 months and im actually getting married a month from today! and i have rocd along with multiple other themes. feel free to ask any questions! :)
I'd love to hear your engagement story.
@Sunshineflowers7 well it was this past december, and although i’ve been struggling with rocd throughout our whole relationship and even my past ones. my rocd tends to make me believe i would cheat or that i am not good enough for my partner. and even with him knowing all of that, he’s always been so supportive and willing to help in anyway he can. we had talks of engagement and marriage since the beginning so i luckily did not have an ocd response to it other than me worrying about being a cheater or accidentally doing wrong. which is something i’ve just had to work on and realize that i love him more than life and would never intentionally do such a thing which has helped me a lot. as we approach the wedding my ocd has ramped up a bit but i’m still just as excited to marry him and even more supported by him than before. it can be scary having ocd and making that type of commitment but it’s just something to work at, like anything else involving ocd.
Yes and now married, I got engaged with ROCD, planned a wedding- before knowing it was ROCD
How was the engagement experience?
@Sunshineflowers7 Honestly it was up and down; looking back I now realise I was looking for reassurance/checking that “it would last forever” or “they were the one” in reality- as we know you never know and it’s about being comfortable with that , but like I said- this was pre diagnosis and so I am sure I did all the things I shouldn’t have. My fears still persist and I wish I had identified it was ROCD sooner as I may have been able to enjoy being engaged more (not that I didn’t enjoy it- but the doubts/checking/remuneration made it hard at times). If I knew what I knew now I’d just try and be comfortable not knowing “if they were the one” or “if it would last”. Looking back, when my OCD is bad, it likes to tell me “you weren’t happy when you got engaged” or “you should have felt happier on your wedding day” but that’s just part of ROCD I guess
@Anonymous How long have you been married?
@Sunshineflowers7 1 year :-)
@Anonymous I congratulate you for facing your ROCD head on and following through with marriage. I hope you have a blessed life together.
Hi everyone I’m dealing with ROCD today
Dealing with it for last 16/17 years and it’s really horrible
I’m married with 5 kids. Any success stories out there for some inspiration
Longish post but please stick with me. Hi everyone. I’m just looking for a bit of insight and if anyone else has felt this. It may sound strange and I’ve not had the courage to ask this for a while…. So I’ve been with my partner (27M) for almost 3 years now, I’m (24F). He recently proposed which I was not expecting so soon. We always joked about it and when he said he looked at rings I was happy. I knew it was coming at some point but not so soon. When it happened it’s immensely triggered my ROCD. And I’m struggling with something in particular, I just want to know if anyone else has experienced it/ what the root cause could be so that I can work on it……. When he proposed it’s like my brain put a time stamp on our relationship. All of a sudden I’m counting the days of my relationship/how long I’ve been in one. It’s like my brain is “keeping track” of the amount of days/weeks that I have a relationship. It’s like my brain wants to be in a relationship for a very long time IMMEDIATELY, which is of course not possible. It’s like my brain is saying “you have to break up with him because you haven’t been together a while yet”. It makes it feel like time is going so slowly. I see couples together for 6/7years prior to my age/time and just think “how did they do it”? Same with married couples. It’s like I think “they’re lucky I wish I was at that many years already”. But at the same time, the thought of being with someone for a long time makes me feel anxious and sick and like I have to “escape” or “get out” urgently. I’ve struggled with this particularly for a month now and am just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same or similar? Or can anyone offer insight into what this really could be deep down/root causes, as I REALLY want to figure out why and where it’s coming from. Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated ❤️✨
Can anyone relate to this type of ROCD? It’s like i obsess of my partners past, I’ve spent probably 100 hours over the last 3 years asking him about girls he was with before me questioning him about every little detail and seeking reassurance. I don’t want to think about these girls at all. And I’ve been in ERP since August and was doing really good and not sure if it’s just getting bad again the last few days because of the holiday (Easter) and i had to go to his hometown where I know he had a past in and he recently brought a ring which I’m so excited about but it just seems like it’s getting harder for me and i don’t wanna be talking about girls he dated for a few months before me when we are about to get engaged. Am i ruining my future? What can I do to help and to not bring up stuff about the girls before me? How can I be in the moment and not relate everything to an irrelevant girl before me? Help
I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond