Religious ocd

I do read the bible and i try to become a good person for God but i cant decide if my thoughts and feelings are genuine things or they are ocd thoughts and feelings. I often feel as a bad person cause how i behave, and i cant decide if thats a sin, or its just ocd playing with me. I feel guilt many times and anger but then i wonder is this really something that i should follow, or i shouldnt cause its ocd. And for me this duality gives me more suffering, not that i believe im a bad person, more like i cant decide what is real and what is a fake obsession... it ruins my life and my belief. Thinking about these things(is this though real, is this feeling real am i this behaviour, am i this am i that?) made me question who i am, i lost my identity, my sense of self

Religion & Spirituality OCD

hen7

Date posted: 2y

I’m not sure which religion you follow. I’m a Christian so I can only comment from that perspective. As someone who has experienced religious ocd I can tell you what really helped me in the end: to stop trying to figure it all out and trust that God will take your shortcomings, no matter if they come from ocd or not, and forgive you because of who He is. He is faithful and He chose you. Not the other way around. We with ocd have such a big inflated sense of responsibility and feel threathened so soon and so much. But in the end, God knows you. He knows you better than you do and He will take care of us. I came to a point where I was like “God, if you want me, You’ll make sure I will stay with you.” And I put my salvation in His hands. That took the power away from my ocd and I started recovering from this theme. Stop trying to figure out how and why you’re thinking what you do because I can tell you for a fact: that’s a compulsion. The figuring out is ocd. If you ask “then what do I do?” the answer is: nothing. You do nothing. You stop trying to think and feel your way out of it because this will enhance the ocd cycle. It will not stop the thoughts and fear. Decide if you want to do things or not because of what you want and believe, not because you fear “doing it wrong”. When in doubt and when you start ruminating, leave it for a bit and go do something else. I hope this helps any.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

Thank you, I know im afraid of trusting myself and go with my belief because my brother is a really religious person and he says to me many times that belief has to be biblical not as how we want it or what we can accept cause that will be modified belief, what we made out so its acceptable to us, and not the truth. I was like this before and im afraid of trusting myself cause i will do it in my way and not how God wants it. And when i get an ocd attack or not on ocd attack idk... cause the thoughts are so strong and i cant decide is this God or its just ocd... Then my mind says no mather who is this we know this is sin, and then im like but i want it and i feel guilt and its just a whole war inside me... im fighting to know its a sin or not... im afraid to just ignore my mind and mindlessly live life cause then i just follow my feelings and body resposes. Once i did that and I wanted to have s*x with someone who isnt even my gf, and i will say i couldve cause i know that person, but the only thing that stopped me was ocd telling me your thinking sinful thoughts you want to do a sin, and i stopped...

hen7

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 There’s a lot in between analyzing the heck of out everything (aka doing compulsions) like trying to control your thoughts and feelings and “mindless living” like you mentioned. You have values, like not sleeping with someone who is not your girlfriend. Focus on what your values are and what you believe God wants from you. (Without compulsively trying to think or analyze what that is. Sometimes it’s clear and sometimes it’s not, in which case we make a choice to the best of our ability) I know christians like your brother and while they mean well they also have no idea what it’s like living with ocd (and ocd, above all else, demands CERTAINTY so we obsess over what to do a 100x over). OCD has a tendency to make us think we want our intrusive thoughts and then makes us do compulsions that make us feel like we were saved from disaster. But only for a tiny bit of time. It will only make you hyperfocus on the thoughts.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

@hen7 I think sexual needs are real things, i dont think i had that as an ocd reaction, and some years ago i really wanted to have sex with girls that i find attractive, i just recently learned that its a bad thing. And i still fight with this rule of God that you shouldnt have sex before marriage...So its something that my body wants. Some others thing i realized i do cause thinking about it gives me a positive feeling and because of tired nerves then i want to do it cause i want to be happy, but after i do it i feel shame and guilt, and i cant decide if cause its a sin or im just overthinking... so i feel like there are more then ocd behind this.(many times is joking and making people laugh but i feel like i go to far or that i look like a clown)

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 Also i forgot to add, i read about what are the real rules cause i know many are man made, cause i feel very sad and like life is boring if i have to stop doing something. Like joking, i like that i make people laugh and people like it, but if i would have to let go that, life would be boring... and there are many things i feel the same way. Thats why i rumminate about is it a sin or not.

hen7

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 These are a lot of things that you need to find our for yourself how you want to live your life by studying the Bible and praying about it. And these dilemmas are not solved in a week either. But obsessing about these things is not going to help you. The moment you start: - ruminating - analyzing how you feel and if you want or do not want any disturbing thoughts - doing compulsions like seeking reassurance, saying reassuring things to yourself Then you need to stop yourself and let the thoughts be there without doing these compulsions.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

I found her helpful: https://scrupulosity.com/

PRIV8

Date posted: 16w

Questioning my faith or ocd

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

Religion & Spirituality OCD

jesus.is.fre...

Date posted: 15w

OCD 'feeling real'

I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Religious OCD, ashamed of my thoughts

I am a christian guy who grew up in a christian community and family. For as long as i remember, ive had horrible thoughts about all kinds of things that i dont know where to begin. Due to my extreme thoughts, i feel as if i am unworthy of practicing my religioin, such as praying, reading, meditating, etc. I feel ashamed when i go to church, as if i dont belong there because i feel like i am secretely evil, and that God knows i am evil and i am committing blasphemy by going there, and refusing to "repent", from my thoughts. But then again, my thoughts are just thoughts, sure. So whats the problem? - The problem is that in my faith, i have been taught that we must control our thoughts, so they do not get power over us to make us commit sin. Such as "If you think lustfully about a woman, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart". This verse has killed my self esteem, due to the constant unwanted sexual and disturbing thoughts. It makes me feel like a monster, who secretely just wants to abuse and be horrible to people, even though i know very well i do not want this. Sometimes i think horrible things about the people i love very much, such as my girlfriend. It feels so wrong and evil, even though i know it isnt my true will.

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