Reoccurring OCD.

I didn’t think I’d be back on here. Once I felt my ROCD diminish I have felt great. But realized that it has slowly crept back now but in regard too my healing from my past relationship. Ive gotten a new therapist to help with healing and trauma but currently have been constantly ruminating and been super overwhelmed and at times panicking the entire week over the fear of hurting my current partner. I got triggered by seeing my ex on social media and with talking about my healing with my new therapist. I became to question everything about him and my new relationship. New ruminating “what ifs” and “does this mean” questions and.. I feel like I’m getting stuck. Not to mention… I have dug deep into looking up stuff online which makes things worse. I just want to know if anyone has had this happen especially with working with a therapist that isn’t specialized in OCD. It’s hard but I just wanted to try to heal more of my wounds.. but now Im questioning everything she is saying and suggesting.. all I care about is my partner. I definitely have wounds that need healing but trying to heal that and my triggered ruminating are definitely battling it out right now.

Relationship OCD

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Hi, the good thing is you recognize the compulsions and the fact you’re getting stuck❤️. I guess that’s why they say we can have a lapse but since we know OCDs tricks, we can pull ourselves out of the cycle. I have had some “life coaching” after OCD therapy, but I am very careful to not discuss my OCD themes. I’m more interested in how to have a value filled life since I spent so many years doing compulsions, I now have a lot more free time😉. When I find myself getting stuck now, which happens, I acknowledge I’m getting stuck, I stop checking, reassurance seeking, trying to figure it out. I make a conscious decision to not know, to be uncertain. This usually feels pretty bad (which is how I know it’s OCD). Then I move forward with my life, following values, being uncertain. It’s a kind of reset. Hang in there, you caught it, good for you! Don’t be surprised or upset, OCD loves to try and get a foothold, but you are already aware of it and you can stop it 😀

gracedomingo

Date posted: 2y

@VGH Very much so! Thank you! I guess its just hard trying to deal with ruminating and my triggers but heal wounds at the same time. I guess Im just stuck on how to proceed. But you’re right.. 💖

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I understand, even though my content is different it’s similar in that we want to be able to heal, OCD and our real lives, and they are so intertwined. We can only do our best, and still be unsure. Your text helped me to realize I was doing the same thing. Sometimes it’s the moving forward part that feels so bad because if we move forward without having it all figured out it means we are willing to not know for sure. That is super hard, scary, sad especially if there has been trauma❤️. I think that’s why self care is so important when recovering from OCD. All of our emotions are real and valid, but the trick is to not let OCD and the unhelpful compulsions latch on to those trauma induced emotions. Moving forward anyway is acknowledging our trauma and everything that entails (which is a lot). For me, I use my trauma as a starting point for moving forward. I allow the pain and all that it was/is in my life, but I hold firm in my resolve to now not let OCD grab on too. It’s me taking care of myself, giving myself grace, like I would a friend who is struggling. Sometimes small steps, doing something good for ourselves, gives us the small space that we can build on to move forward. I’m outside gym right now, it’s something I can do, in this moment, even though I feel bad, scared, irresponsible etc. it’s something that I know will help me physically and mentally. Thanks for the conversation, hope you have a good day❤️

faye1010

Date posted: 24w

ROCD

Good morning everyone, I need some opinions or help on what people might think is wrong. March 2024 is when I started questioning everything about my relationship for no reason he is everything that I wanted, but my mind is trying to tell me that it isn't April 2024 was probably one of the worst times of my life I stayed home from work because I was constantly crying and totally sick because I didn't know what to do. The thoughts slowly started to not bother me as much. I feel like since it ever started I never have gotten that. Love feeling back for my boyfriend, but I want it back so bad because when I did have it, it was absolutely amazing. I have no desire to kiss him or be intimate with him either which also scares me fast-forward to today. I am waking up with so many doubts in questioning myself. Is this ever gonna go away or am I ever gonna feel that love back for my boyfriend ever again? I feel like I'm wasting his time and my time because it feels never ending. I went to a therapist shortly after starting to deal with this and she didn't really seem to help so now on Wednesday I have a new therapist that specializes in OCD I think does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much in advance.

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

A couple questions about rocd

I hate myself a lot and don’t understand. I do so well for a few days then spiral and feel so awful bc it feels true. The BIGGEST and WORST trigger and theme has been my brother old friend ish who I had a crush on yrs ago. Since my ocd returned once I got in a relationship (after many yrs of being hidden) this theme is the most brutal. For some background I had a crush on my current boyfriend last year in February til May and we were friends then we started talking officially in end of May then dating in 2 week of June. I was obsessed w him 100%. The one time I even saw this old crush and the mall and my 1 friend and I followed him bc like old crush yk and I literally like stopped caring like idk how to explain it bc it was a while ago, but it didn’t matter to me. I eventually walked away and then later used that as an excuse to talk to my biggest crush (my current bf). Since we began dating, my ocd has been brutal. My little brother mentioned the old crush the one day saying “you still love him ur lying to urself rn by being w ur bf” and then it sent my mind on its first loop ab that guy. Since then, it’ll return getting worse and worse. (Sometimes I actually don’t care and it won’t feel as tru and ik it’s fake, but others it’s terrible) I hate it. And I feel so awful like I needa check to make sure I don’t like him. Yet logically why would I check my feelings. Ik I love my man bc everything ab him I love and he’s my comfort and best friend. But I get so stuck up in the confusion of all the thoughts ab this other guy and all I have wanted for the 10 months I’ve been dating my man is to go back to normal. Back to myself. The one who was head over heels obsessed w my man and completely forgetting ab the other ppl. But my brain says I can’t bc a part of me will always want the other guy or some other lame bs excuse and it hurts me so much and my man sometimes too. I’m considering medication but will it truly work? Will it make my thoughts go away? I hate how real/ true they feel I feel like a cheater or like I am lying to my man. I feel like rn when I say I love him, that I’m a liar😖for the past 3 days I was better. I gave it up and let God help me, but last night into today I’m lost. Are we sure ocd attacks wuts most important to us? Bc why is it so persistent and evil

hhaatt

Date posted: 8w

switching between themes

Themes constantly switching. I’ve been suffering with real event ocd the last year and am currently in therapy treating it. it’s nowhere near as bad as it was last year and it’s felt like a nice break. there’s days where it gets bad but i can’t compare it to the stress of last year. However i’ve noticed every time i overcome a theme a new one hits me out of nowhere. i’ve suffered with ocd since i was 9, and ive had multiple themes. i’m in a 2 year relationship with my partner and it’s amazing. she’s probably my second proper relationship due to the fact my first relationship gave me so much fear to get into another one as i was cheated on, and needed a few years to get over that. i kind of guessed that ROCD would creep in at some point as it just felt inevitable. anyways, i know my partner is not cheating on me, she’s beyond loyal, we are so so in love but i think due to that first relationship i had, being cheated on really messed with my head. it’s like my brain is telling me my partner has someone else even though i know in my heart nothings going on, and i trust her with my life. i also think because im in the happiest relationship of my life, anything that would indicate loosing her makes me feel sick and riddled with anxiety. and i know that’s completely normal for everyone. i think the most frustrating thing is, is knowing that my OCD has finally crept into my relationship which is something i never wanted it to do. this is a brand new theme and i have no idea how to treat this. i will speak to my therapist but if anyone has been through this theme and any advice in the meantime i would really appreciate it :).

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Reoccurring OCD.

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community