Rocd and taking big steps

So I have been struggling with rocd for over a year now. I have been with my partner for over 4 years and the time is coming up where I will be popped the big question and moving in together. And to be quite honest I am mortified. I need advice on how to go on and manage all the anxiety that is coming with these huge changes. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I try to hard to stay positive and not ruminate but I seem to catch myself thinking of the worst. I pray everyday that I can live and get better for us. I know for a fact that I want to be with him and I want to give him everything he deserves. It’s so hard to give your partner your all when your mental health is eating you up. Any advice of anyone who’s gotten married , had kids would be appreciated! I need encouragement❤️

Relationship OCD

ada110

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Are you in therapy for OCD? This is a key fear for me too but I'm finding that working in therapy on ERP it's making the intrusive thoughts and anxiety less present and bothersome, and as a result I feel more hopeful that one day soon I will be in the place and will be able to commit, even if OCD is being loud. Be careful that the praying on it doesn't become compulsive, that it's not being taken over by OCD and its urge for everything to be perfect - in my experience it's better to shift perspective and focus on being ok with uncertainty about the future. OCD gets us to focus on what we *think* will help, but once you leave that alone and allow uncertainty to be there, the by-product in the end is what we actually wanted all along - to be anxiety free and able to happily move forward with what we want. You are already a good person who cares about your partner and wants happiness for you both.

Anonymous<3

Date posted: 2y

@ada110 Hi! I was taking therapy for months with NOCD app and it did help but it was very expensive. Currently I am going to regular talk therapy but my therapist has never heard of my theme and can’t help me in the ways I need her. I try to keep in mind everything I learned through NOCD but it gets hard and I start thinking I’m making excuses and don’t wanna accept things. I’m still hopeful though and really want to be better. Thank you for your advice❤️

ada110

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Yali<3 It's hard when it comes back more loudly, I could dish out all the advice cos I've learnt it all but I still find it really hard in the moment not to let the thoughts convince me and keep me feeling bad. I totally get what you mean about the cost, I've found that too. My advice would be just be careful what you go into with your therapist; they might be great at some things and so well-meaning but talk therapy is not recommended for OCD and it could undo good work that you have done. Also don't be too hard on yourself, remember this IS hard, so hard. It asks you to face terrifying possibilities and keep going through what can feel like unbearable feelings. Don't forget to show yourself compassion. It sounds like you really care - care for yourself too 💖

Anonymous<3

Date posted: 2y

@ada110 Thank you so much, your right I need to give myself some credit. Iv been silently going through so much and no one around me even has a clue. I like my therapist a lot but I honestly don’t see myself progressing how I’d like. I just go in every week and talk about my life but I need more then that. Thankfully I have this app that I can learn new things from others that know exactly what I’m going through. Thank you again for your kindness❤️❤️

ada110

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Yali<3 You're so welcome. Now I just need to take my own advice! Glad we have people on this app too, it feels so horribly isolating sometimes.

puzzlesandkn...

Date posted: 25w

Rocd and change

My girlfriend and I are both applying to grad schools and have no idea what’s going to happen next with our lives but I am seeing couple getting engaged and moving in and I am so freaked out I feel like I should want those things and I do but like not now? But is that bad to not want them now I’m scared it will never actually be the right time or that maybe I am with the wrong person but I don’t believe in wrong person and I love my partner so much I don’t want to feel this uncertainty but that is what my ocd wants :// any tips y’all?

Secretidentity

Date posted: 23w

Moving in with SO

How did you cope with your ROCD when you first moved in with you SO? Did it get worse when you first moved in together and then subside? My rocd was doing pretty good for a while but over the weekend my boyfriend and I moved in together and it’s been great but now my rocd is starting to get really bad again. I don’t know if this is normal rocd things when you first move in together or something else. I just keep having the looping thought of “I don’t really love him” I’ve been trying to say maybe I do, maybe I don’t. I’ve even just full on agreed with it and said yeah your right I don’t but it gives me anxiety that I’m not getting anxiety from that. I have no idea if this is normal. Sorry for kinda ranting on but I just need advice from couples who lives together.

Relationship OCD

AmandaB345

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12w

Rocd encouragement

Hi all!! Its been a while since I've been in here and typically I come on here to give advice and encouragement which i still plan to do but i really need encouragement right now. I typically deal with so-ocd but right now its taking a back seat or just disappearing ( which I'm not complaining) but now my rocd is really coming in thick and heavy and Im overly anxious but i have had panic attacks to the thoughts and its just been heavily attack me on my feelings towards my bf. I love this man with my literal whole being and I want to marry him and I know he feels the same cause we have had discussions on marriage. But lately and idk if its because of my period starting (sorry tmi) and all the hormones but i can't feel my emotions all that well, and the thoughts are constantly telling me i don't love him, i don't want to talk to him which are all false me and him are long distance rn which is hard but we push through it. I really hate these thoughts and all it makes me want to do is scream and cry. Like i said not overly anxious but definitely just want to scream and cry and of course cause Im not overly anxious my ocd picks up on that says oh see your not anxious with that so it must be true. I'm just hot mess y'all:( But anyways word of encouragement keep pushing y'all all got this and Im proud of every single one of you!!

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Rocd and taking big steps

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