Feeling kinda numb

I actually started feeling almost numb today after watching some couple getting married and that for some reason triggered something aha 😅. Like right now me and my bf are watching anime and he’s being silly and cute but I don’t feel anything in my stomach or that lovey dovey and this does happen to me every now and then randomly and it’s making me think that “what if I actually don’t love him and I’ve just been faking it or convincing myself?” Or “what if this is how I truly feel when I’m not anxious?” But honestly I try not to act on it and don’t try to like end my relationship cause of it. But it is such a hard thing to deal with and it makes me feel guilty and uneasy and I just don’t like this feeling cause it’s messing with my head and now I don’t know what’s real or what isn’t real. I also notice that now when I think about my boyfriend I get that tense feeling in my stomach again and it makes me panic thinking that he’s the problem (btw he’s done nothing wrong and treats me with respect and love) when In reality my anxiety is the problem. I don’t really know what to do other than just sit with it and not do anything rational just cause I started feeling this way randomly for an hour or two.

Relationship OCD

Keely00

Date posted: 2y

I have felt these exact things about my boyfriend and while I don’t know what to say to make it better for either of us, I think it’s helpful to hear these thoughts being expressed outside of my own head as an OCD symptom that others deal with. Especially that constant doubting of what is real or in your head, and that tense feeling in your stomach. My urge is to break things off as soon as I feel those feelings or ruminate on other relationships, my past ones or other people’s. I’d love to hear what people have to say about confronting this anxiety head on. One thing that’s been helpful for me is to tell him I’m feeling anxious and let him help co regulate me (like deep breathing in a hug or letting him get me a cup of tea) so I can start recognizing him as the good guy in the story of my anxiety. Other times I try to remind myself that OCD often attacks what matters most to you (I imagine it like a vampire looking for it’s most promising target) so if my relationship ocd is flaring up it’s probably because I’m thinking in really rigid terms about what this relationship means for me ( a decision I may regret forever, a person who can make or break my happiness, etc) and I need to reconsider some of those underlying thoughts that are inherently anxiety inducing.

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Yes exactly though sadly I also sometimes get thoughts like “maybe I should be single” or “what if this is a sign that I should be single?” And it’s like messing with my head cause it’s like I don’t see what’s in front of me or what’s the present.

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 2y

@_Dina_ It’s almost like I’m subconsciously blocking my love towards him if that makes sense and it’s scary

izzzaey

Date posted: 2y

"My urge is to break things off as soon as I feel those feelings" I totally relate. It's like this panicky feeling where you feel like you just need to do it for no real reason besides the fact that your brain is freaking out. In the beginning of my relationship (before I knew it was ROCD), I broke up my relationship multiple times. It wasn't until my mom looked at me and said, "You cannot keep doing this to him." I realized that I cannot let my thoughts destroy something so good. He treats me with the upmost respect and gives me so much love, why would I ever want to get rid of that? I don't. ROCD is just a bitch and once I start getting that panicky feeling, I also ground myself by asking him to hug me until I am calm. It comes in waves, either I'm crying happy tears because I miss him and love him so much, or my stomach is sick and I feel like I need to break it off. Also, I love the analogy about the OCD being a vampire!

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 2y

@izzzaey I can totally relate to it as well and I wish my boyfriend would come over to give me a big hug but ig I’ll have to wait until sometime this week to see him (he’s very busy with school and work).

Mariabae

Date posted: 24w

scary rocd

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.

Amandarem2003

Date posted: 23w

Please help (is this ROCD)

For the past week, I’ve been feeling pretty good about my relationship. I wanted to be closer to them and I felt really affectionate. I had no issue talking to them all day. Sure there were some slip ups here and there, but for the most part, I would go back to feeling better but around last night I started getting these numb feelings again, and I didn’t think much of it because I knew it wasn’t going to last however, these feelings have now bled into today now I feel disgusted at the thought of doing anything with them, which is strange because just two days ago I wanted to be all over them I was almost obsessed with them now I feel off putt by any flirting or anything of the sort and it’s making me sad because I really miss feeling OK again. We have a date in a couple of days and I worry that I won’t be emotionally present and I will be disgusted by their presence and I will want to break up with them which I don’t really want my ERP therapist appointment is the day before our date so I’m hoping maybe it will help but I am worried that I’ll feel disgusted by their presence and I won’t feel anything if we hold hands or even kiss they’re such a sweet and kind person and I don’t wanna lose them, but I fear that my feelings being inconsistent will be an issue. I just wanna feel OK again and not have to worry about whether or not, I’m going to like them any given day. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t know what changed or caused me to feel this way. It makes me wanna run, I think what triggered this is because I saw somebody that I thought was attractive and started having intrusive Thoughts. And now I feel disgusted by their presence I don’t want to feel disgusted by their presence because I was feeling so good the other day and I wanted to be around them and now I don’t and it’s very concerning and I don’t wanna feel like this. I’m scared. I’m going to feel like this our date is in Four days and I worry I’m going to feel like this still in four days and I’m going to not be in the right headspace to go on this date with them. I don’t wanna cancel it because we don’t get to see each other that often, but I worry that I will not be happy on our date and I will want to run away and break up with them. I know relationships are a choice but what if I’m leading them on and I’m staying with them because I feel bad I’m just worried that I’ll never feel for them again. Please help me.

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 21w

Feelings

Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!

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Feeling kinda numb

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