- Username
- aquarius01
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sorry I don’t want to be rude or invasive but why did you come out as Bi? Like do you want to be with a female? I’m sorry I’m just confused and scared, like how do I know if I’m not. I hate the thought of it and don’t want to be with a female but urggg idek
I totally relate to this feeling however we get this feeling because we are focussing on this so much and constantly asking ourselves whether we like these things while other people without OCD would just know that it isn’t true and move on. I honestly don’t know how we can recover from this horrible thing but I do know that I don’t want these thoughts and I definitely don’t want to be with a female.
I definitely do and relate to everything you said!
For me it was a personal choice to just get the idea out of my head. I came out as bi or questioning. Should have added the last part. Since I share this with family and friends it didn’t feel like it was a secret that I have to hide even though I’ve never done anything. If it makes sense it helped me keep my sanity and it allowed me to not be scared of it anymore because it’s been like that in my head since I was a child. It literally just assisted me not feel like I was losing my mind. Everyone was supportive and didn’t question it. Which helped me realize that even if I wasn’t there would be no problem if I was. It made me feel secure.
I’m sure you feel as fed up as I do
I have chosen to just come out as Bi for the time being but honestly I say yeah sure I’ll hook up with another female but like deep down I am like ...actually no I do not want to but it somehow feels like it releases pressure out of my thoughts. I’ve never dated or been with a girl. I think I’ve had crushes on girls but like I cannot find myself actually going through with even kissing even when opportunity arises
Yes i totally relate
Yes I have heard of people doing this. I've told people before that my attraction depends on the person rather than their gender. Telling myself this gives me more room to be myself, and I realise nothing about who I am, what I do, or how I experience life has changed at all. I realise my fears are not based on anything real or of substance. I need to work towards removing the stigma I attach towards being gay. I cant control other peoples opinions
Our sexuality is present whether or not we choose act on. A straight person who has been intimate with 10 people of the opposite sex is no more straight than a virgin. @Carm28! Obviously this doesn't apply to you as you are straight and just came out as bi to give yourself some breathing space as far as I'm aware. From some of us with hocd this is a worthy path. I have considered coming out as bi, gay, pan myself. I'm not there now but it shows how powerful and convincing hocd can be unchecked.
I relate. When I just tell myself who I am attracted to depends on the person, rather limiting it to a gender, I find it takes the pressure away and feeling calmer and less fixated, I naturally find myself attracted to girls
Ok thank you, that makes sense
OCD to calm down. I’ve never been with a woman, not even a kiss
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
does anyone else feel like they’ve completely lost themself and don’t know what they really feel like or who they are anymore. i have no idea what i should have as morals or if i even care about anything, i’m really stuck, i don’t even know my sexuality anymore, it’s really tough.
I’ve lost my sense of identity now (I don’t know how I am or what I want). I recently read that we can force ourselves to love people, be in denial when it comes to who we really are and develop attraction to an array of different people before and after puberty. Now it seems like my whole life is a lie. Has everything been forced? Am I secretly bi and in denial? Ugh, I hate it. To make it worse, I was recently watching a TV game show and a question about Katy Perry and her songs popped up. My immediate answer was her song I kissed a girl. Obviously, I took that as a mental sign. On top of that, I’ve had many “uncertain,” crushes (I wasn’t too sure whether I really liked them) that have actually developed into love. Now I’m wondering whether I forced myself to feel that way and I feel horrible; I just want to be with a man, not a woman. The idea of touching a women inappropriately makes me want to cry and throw up; it generally makes me distressed and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know who I am anymore; I was so boy crazy and romantic beforehand. Now I’m plagued with anxiety and uncertainty.
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