I’m really questioning if this HOCD or not. I can’t eat. All day I’ve just been reading stuff. Getting different perspectives. This sucks I feel nauseous. I’m so scared.

Dont ruminate, Ruminating causes more problem than it solves. Do something, tell yourself you will not do any research ab ocd.

Well for HOCD, thoughts can manifest into feelings if we start believing them. To much obsession can start making you feel like you are lesbian/gay but that feeling is temporary and only due to OCD.

Hey. You're gonna be okay.

Thank you. At this point words can’t describe the pain anymore. It beginning to feel way to real.

Yeah I know the feeling... It's weird isn't it - that it feels so real... But it always just stays there... As a fear ... As rumiation and anxiety but that's all it ever ends up.

OCD feels real, it manifests onto you, if you allow your ocd to make faith in you, in other words the moment you start trusting ocd thoughts is the moment ocd thoughts starts to feel more real. Not the thoughts but the feelings starts to come and it just feeels sooo reeaall. Our mind is everything, our feelings are influenced by what we believe. Don't allow OCD thoughts to fool you and don't believe them.

Yeah, somehow we feel fear and dread (or shame) and take it to mean that that thought MUST be real, because it feels like there is something 'bad' there... But then it just gets stuck in a loop cos there's nothing really there and that's not what the fears probably about anyway

That's true. I fully experienced that with both sexual orientation OCD and POCD. my feelings changed after getting the doubts. Both doubts appeared because of ultimately feared hurting or losing people I loved... (One was a nephew and one was a relationship) Weird how it does that right?

Yes! Do you think maybe that why I have hocd? Because I fear that if I am lesbian I will have to leave my boyfriend and that means I never liked boys all along?

That is exactly why you do. For OCD, your greatest weakness, which is your greatest fear is it's weapon. It uses your fear to attack you. Your worst fear is being lesbian and leaving ur bf, which turned out to be a weapon for ocd, OCD uses this for it's advantage and makes your feelings to be feeel soo reaal.

why you have*

It’s okay! You’re going to make it through! Stop ruminating. Stop reassuring. Trust yourself. Meditate and start seeing your thoughts as thoughts.

Thanks for the support!

I did that same stuff, I would look things up alllllll the time!!!! Don’t ruminate it’s really bad for you, I did that a lot still do sometimes.??‍♀️

My POCD completely went though so it's useful for me to use that experience as guidance for my other OCD's

Wow I hate this so much. It sucks because at times I feel convinced it’s really just ocd but then I’m like what if it’s not because of x,y,z etc. or what if I’m saying it to make myself feel better. Like it can’t be that easy to just say “it’s ocd” and it completely goes away and I get worried that since i felt relief it meant I was just lying to myself.

Of course! That’s why we’re here!