Lauv (@ lauvsongs on ig) posted a reel that was really long winded - in part of it he mentioned he said he's been struggling with OCD and anxiety for a long time and obsessive thoughts about his sexuality and how he felt like they weren't real but now he does (?) and wants to be open he's gonna explore that side of himself. As someone who struggled with soocd it was a bit triggering to hear
I don’t understand why he would post that. I feel like as someone with SOOCD, you should be wary of other sufferers triggers. He shouldnt have mentioned having OCD about it imo. I’m sorry if I sound insensitive, that video just made me spiral .
@Mia Mia No I agree with you completely. It’s pretty much saying that our obsessions could become true and it is TERRIFYING to say the least. I think his OCD won, he gave in. Don’t listen to that.
@Kalalalala Yes exactly. It makes me think that if his fear became true then mine definitely will…
My opinion on this is that he must be tired of all these obsessions so maybe he thinks this is the way to make them go away?? Idk, I would never do that (I struggle with hocd myself) because it is terrifying. But obviously it’s triggering because you think “what if I change my mind and wanna try it later?” So I just say to myself that it isn’t true and that I won’t do it EVER even if they feel real. I hope you feel better!
@Kalalalala Honestly just being uncertain and saying "maybe I will maybe I won't" helps me a lot! In this situation in particular it's moreso the fact that it makes me question if I even have ocd or if I was just suppressing thoughts
I just saw the video, it was really triggering and honestly he descrive the simtopms so it does match with OCD, allthough two things I notice is, he really didn't said what he's gonna do exactly so we don't know, maybe when he tries it he would still experience doubt, cause with OCD experimenting to see the truth it's not really a way to get rid off OCD. but yeah other than that, it was really triggering, I don't know what to say I just did the kinsey scale test (I use to do a sexual orientation test but then with fluidity and stuff I just wanted to make sure withthe kinsey) also I know that was a compulsion but Idk, I couldn't helpep, I can't stop having this feeling of me being bi, then again, bi is not a feeling, it's category but then again logic doesn't really helps, so Idk, sorry for the long test
@Perzibal I didn’t watch it completely cuz it was too long lol. But I agree, I don’t think he said what he’s gonna do about it. So we’ll have to wait and see I suppose. And don’t take the Kinsey scale, cuz your OCD can make you feel like you are attracted to the same sex. And I don’t think it’s accurate cuz again, it doesn’t take into account the fact that you suffer from an extreme anxiety disorder.
@Kalalalala - Most of the time I get a 0 so it's reassuring but I did got a 1 a couple of times and I was like ok, that's not that bad, that's basically straight with the unconfortable false atractions, but now after seing that guy's vid I'm like, maybe that one does mean something
That's not reassuring at all lol
@jdd Lol right
I will say, I am a believer of sexuality being fluid and have always thought that there are publicly tons of women who are bi but lean more towards male relationships (or however they prefer) and you rarely hear of men feeling the same way where they might date women but are attracted to men as well.
I've always thought that if sexuality is in fact fluid like many believe today, and I tend to agree that it is as well, then why haven't they figured out how it works still lol. Seems kinda biased because they don't want to for sake of potential abuse but still, there's likely plenty of people who would benefit. Afaik There's still zero conclusive proof or evidence linking born this way genetics or fluidity. Hell, I recently read there's a new possible treatment for people with hypoactive desire disorder in the pipeline that has next to no side effects, why wouldn't sexuality itself be somewhere near where that is located. I think for men they say it's less fluid unfortunately but that honestly doesn't make much sense from a scientific or even evolutionary standpoint why one would be fluid and not the other.
@jdd - Why would that be unfortunate?
I know we’re all triggered but maybe he’s been fluid this whole time, is okay with it, and has OCD about being straight or gay but identifies as bi? We don’t know his story and biphobia is a thing and it comes up with SOOCD a lot where the person feels like they have to pick one or another. Idk just food for thought
@Roses2021 Oh I think you’re onto something. This makes a LOT of sense.
I only want to be with women, but lately I been fearing I'm bi and the biphobia thing is driving me crazy, funny thing is when I was scared of being gay, being bi didn't seem so bad, now it does, feels like the worst thing it could happen to me (no hate on bi people tho, everyone is free to enjoy themselves as they please)
@Perzibal Oh my god I feel the SAME way. I went through the same thing and then I’m mad at myself like “how could you be ok with such a thing”. I hate my brain sometimes lol.
Hmmm I don’t follow him but it sounds like he’s going to explore being bisexual?
@Roses2021 Sounds like it! Which I fully support and it seems like he feels relief, it's just that he said he had sexuality OCD so it was a bit anxiety inducing because it made me wonder if I'm the same and the thoughts are real
@sillygoose1012 Honestly feeling the same kinda! I feel myself trying to figure out his story to see if I relate 😂
@Roses2021 The best thing you guys can do is either watch without trying to relate or just leave it alone
I decided to do some impromptu ERP and watch it. Trying not to dwell on it much or try to compare and contrast.
So my ocd theme changed to sexual orientation ocd last December after I heard a popular video "hi, I'm Gibby" and I went like the Gibby sounds like "gay", then I started saying the phrase and over days, I started getting intrusive thoughts "I'm gay" .(I have had other ocd themes: (magical thinking ocd, symmetry ocd, health concern ocd, religious and spirituality ocd and harm ocd ever since I was 12, they just come and go)....I struggle with other conditions(ASD and bipolar disorder). I have never struggled with sexuality or questioned it because I have only liked males right from when I was in grade 1🥲...I still like them. SO-OCD is very frustrating because deep down I know I'm straight and there's no evidence I'm not but the intrusive thoughts and compulsions to get relief (the cycle) won't stop. I'm on fluoxetine(Prozac) and it did help my symptoms but lately I realised I'm more consumed with compulsions and idk but I think it's reducing the effects of the drugs?.. I see an attractive female and my mind goes like you found her attractive you must be gay or I want to go out and do sumn"what if you discover you like them or are gay" ...idk it's frustrating, very and I'm tired. I don't even get turned on by same sex or any😭that what even makes it more confusing.+ It's almost like I'm now hypervigilant when Watching videos or Instagram reels...it making me forget that finding someone physically attractive≠sexual attraction...idk if anyone gets me...(Rn my ocd themes are SO-OCD and religious and spirituality ocd) SO-OCD is frustrating, I'm tireddd...how can I never have struggled with sexuality for almost a decade and half but I'm having it now(it's started two months ago)...who has had/have this theme??
Hey everyone. I wanted to share my story and some of the things I have/am experiencing in my journey with OCD- particularly with Sexual Orientation OCD. My goal is not to use this as a means for reassurance for myself or for any other, rather as to be a reminder for myself and you all that you are NOT alone. No matter what you are experiencing you aren’t alone, and we have all gone through the same thoughts and feelings as you, in whatever form they may have been. For personal reasons I will not share my name, but I do want to share about me and my journey with what has truly been one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I am a 24 year old female and for as long as I’ve remembered I’ve always been a “worrier”. My dad used to tell me that worrying will be the fastest way I’d die lol. Oh! How I wish I could go back to those days of just simply worry. For the past few years I have struggled with what I now know is intrusive thoughts. But, luckily for me they were a little calmer than what I’ve experienced now. They were the occasional worrying that my boyfriend died but I would get over it rather quickly. Well, in may of 2024, I had just graduated college, was about to get married and about to move out. So, that triggered some switch in my brain and thus began this horrible disease of OCD. My main type has been SO-OCD but I have found some moments that I’ve also struggled with ROCD as well as some existential crisis OCD. I have unfortunately not been able to go to therapy because of money but I am on meds and have been using tips and tricks I’ve found online. My goal is to still go to therapy when I can find the right time. And I, like many of you have months of great “freedom” from the disease; and then, like I find myself now, fall back into its trap. I wanted to share some of the things I’ve experienced with this to see if y’all have experienced the same things and to let you know you are not alone. For reference, I am straight (I am happily married to my wonderful husband). 1. Thoughts from the past: I slightly remember having a thought that I’d be gay when I was around 12-13… that was around the time I actually first figured out what that meant. Even then, I (more easily than now) brushed it off. Continued to have about a million crushes on boys and never thought of it again. But now, with my OCD, I feel “convinced” that that was a sign that I was gay. 2. I have always been a girls girl. Me and my friend have a joke that we are worse than men! Meaning that when we see a pretty girl with a nice body, we stare. We say they are pretty. Never have I ever thought anything of it. It was always from a place of envy and admiration. Never a place of lust or anything along those lines. But NOW. OH! If I even look that direction I feel guilty, I feel like that’s confirmation that I am gay. And even worse- that is one of my compulsions. To look and make myself “prove” I’m not gay. 3. I have lost “feeling” for my partner. I love my husband. More than anything else. I could not live without him. But since this all happened, my emotions and fears have been all over the place that I’ve somewhat lost that feeling. It doesn’t help that I’m on medicine that can have that effect. I have to just remind myself that love isn’t always feelings, it’s a choice. And I choose him every single day. 4. sex life issues: bc/ of the OCD fear as well as my medication, I don’t have much sex drive or pleasure in the bedroom as I did before OCD… and, my OCD likes to convince me that that is because I would be better off with a woman (even tho I don’t want that) and then, OH THEN, I proceed to experience some groinal sensation from that though. So- cue even more “proof” that I am gay. well- that’s all I can think of now. Let me know if any one yall struggle with those. And I hope you know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU ARE NOT YOUR OCD 💚
I wanna start out by saying, I am really proud of how far I've come in recognizing my OCD tendencies and learned about how it can show up intersectionally for BIPOC folks who have racialized trauma and how me, being a White person, how it manifests itself for me. I'd also like to say, this is gonna be more of an analytical and reflective post. Please feel free to read and respond with any critiques or thoughts you have. I'm embarrassed about it nowadays, but it's important to acknowledge because it was a HUGE part of my teenage personality, unfortunately. I used to be a HUGE Shane Dawson fan 😭 like, his content was my strongest hyperfixation to date. So at this point in time, I feel like I'm still trying to decipher what kind of racial commentary and satire and jokes are genuinely funny and which are just perpetuating stereotypes and straight up minstrelsy. Shout out to D'Angelo Wallace for making the video essay that woke me up to seeing this issue more clearly. I try to be aware of how I can easily fall into just laughing at racial stereotypes without being aware of the serious consequences it has for BIPOC people, but at the same time, I don't want to be too worried about everything being racist and therefore that means it's bad and should be banned, cause that's also not always helpful, I've noticed. So racialized fear and polarization is something I'm deconstructing. I hate to admit this, too, 'cause it's embarrassing, but my OCD seems to latch onto racial issues. I end up obsessing about whether or not I'm causing marginalized people harm or not, particularly when it comes to racism. I believe this is because I know I was one of those White kids who was into "edgy" humor when I was a teen. I think it's just lingering guilt from knowing that was wrong, but OCD makes my guilt and rumination and therefore compulsions to "fix" it so much worse than most people. It's frustrating, but I have come a very long way in confronting and dealing with it. I'm very proud of myself for being aware that that's an issue I have. I've got to give credit where credit is due, to my biracial friend (who also happens to have OCD) for essentially helping me learn this, albeit the hard way with many arguments about racism and trauma. It's something that isn't talked about much, but we're learning to build bridges in our understanding of how mental health affects us as people with different forms of racialized trauma. Mine's not so much trauma, but social stigma, whereas his was from actual bullying and harassment and physical assault, simply because of his race. I've also learned how to recognize and deal with my own mental health issues WHILE confronting race because of Black advocates like Tony Nabors who does Racial Equity Insights, F.D. Signifier who does really great intersectional analyses on social issues pertaining to Black people, and D'Angelo Wallace for being the first Black YouTuber that made the problem with Shane Dawson video that finally helped me break out of my lowkey toxic parasocial/trauma bond relationship I had with him, lol. Does this post seem too wordy and analytical for this forum? Let me know if this isn't the right audience for this type of writing and reflection. I just wanted to talk about it because it's something I had to figure out largely on my own. Wondering if anyone else relates to this or can see themselves in this.
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