„I never had a boyfriend“ is a sentence (often in coming-out stories) that triggers my HOCD the most, because I (19-years-old) have also never had a boyfriend but not because „I was secretly gay“ but because I was too busy with school and working on myself. I don‘t have many experiences in dating and I feel like I‘m not ready yet to be in a relationship because in my opinion the twenties are the most important years for personal growth, gaining experiences and maturity. Anyway, my HOCD tells me that this is a lie and I never had a boyfriend and I‘m not ready for a relationship because I‘m „secretly gay“ and in the „closet“. This sometimes leads to panic attacks, because sometimes I believe my HOCD and think „omg it‘s true I‘ve never had a boyfriend“, „what if I‘m lying to myself?“. It makes me just so sick.

I've never had a boyfriend either, but not because I don't want to. Tho I'm not ready for a full on real relationship, I do want one in the future. My standards may be a bit too high too lol. I have hocd too and I 100% understand where you come from but literally this means nothing. Focus on getting better and love will come to you. Ocd is just an obstacle

Giirl me too but it litteraly means nothing. I liked so many boys but just no one liked me back. And i always felt like i jusf wasnt resdy which is so normal. Go on youtube and search: why ive never been in a relationship. Sooo many girls like us are on there and im a 100% sure that if u watch one you can relate to them. I always had pretty high standards too. So yeah its totally normal if u were attracted to boys ur just straight period. If u did or did not have had a bf doesnt say anything :)

Yeah I’m 19 and I haven’t had a boyfriend because boys just weren’t interested in me (and still aren’t) and I guess that’s okay. It kinda makes me anxious a little bit because sometimes, I’m like “is this a sign from god that I’d be better off with women?” It’s absurd but I know I’ll be okay. Eventually, that special boy will come along for me and for you guys as well (or girl if you’re a boy)

Yes, the only thing you not having had a boyfriend says about you is that you haven't had a boyfriend. There are lesbians who have had a boyfriend. That doesn't make them straight anymore than you never having a boyfriend makes you a lesbian.

@hocdgirlsummer Thank you very much this means a lot to me! It‘s just so many girls in my age and many female friends are like crazy about relationships, just searching for a new boyfriend and spending their time to get a boyfriend and dates and when I think of myself sometimes my HOCD just says „Your friend are so boy-crazy and you‘re not, you know what that means!“ But I just want to wait for the right one, want to grow as a person and don‘t want to put pressure on myself! So thank you very much your comment helped me a lot to calm down

Amen

I totally relate to that! It made me wonder if it was a sign that I was supposed to be with women! It really upset me to think about it! @Esosa

Yes exactly all the girls above i can relate to. What does makes me so sad is that i just wish i had a boyfriend before hocd because i used to be so in love with boys and im so afraid i will never be able to be just as in love as i was before hocd with a boy. Im scared it wont be the same after hocd. When i get a boyfriend i want to have all the feelings i used to have but im scared i will never be able to get those feelinfs because my thoughts ruined my natural way of Thinking. All i can do is hope for the best...also guys actually have been hitting me up lately but im so sad because i fee nothing towards them because of this. I always used to dream about a boy asking my humber but in the period i didnt have hocd it never happened but now i have hocd and suddenly guys hit me up like??? Thats just so unfair and i cant feel any of the joy i used to have. So annoying lol

I feel you hun. I’m scared that I will miss out on dating cute guys in college because of all this hocd. That I won’t be able to enjoy dating guys or fall in love with one which was always my dream. I think that’s the main thing we girls are afraid of, so you’re not alone! :) @hocdgirlssummer

It truly is the thing were afriad of, missing out because we all have waited for the right time to be allowed to go out with boys and we were so excited but all the extiement is killed by hocd and its just a huge dissapointment too just in life general. You expect so much and u finally think ur time has come and than boom, all of it is gone. Litteraly everything u ever dreamt of is just gone, i feel u girl

Girls, it feels so good to know that I‘m not the only one living with this fear and these thoughts! I‘m so proud of all of us because we support each other! ✨

I mean search why ive never had a boyfriend, litteraly eendless girls like us

Girl me too and I’m 18! Basically the guys I liked didn’t like me back and the guys that liked me, I didn’t like back! Plus a lot of guys are so immature at this age anyway and aren’t looking for a serious relationship like us, so why waste my time tbh ??‍♀️