Okay girls, something that really really bothers me is that hocd also took my girly side. The love for fashion, makeup, skincare all that is gone. Like i dont feel the passion and the joy of it snymore and i hate it so much. I always couldnt wait to be like 17 because i could wesr woman clothing and i could wear heels. But hocd got me sort of depressed and i cant feel the joy of doing thst snymore and i csnt deal with it. It used to make me so so happy. Whenever i was sad my way of coping and selfcare was putting on a mask and paint my nails or something but it just doesnt feel the same anymore. I hate thst i cant be the girly me i used to be. I feel like im just a big mess right now and ive waited so long for it to come back but it just never seems to happen. My biggest dream was to work in the fashion industry and ever since i was a child and it hurts me so much to see my childhood dreams go to waste. I feel so bad for the young girl me who had so much potential and she just was so driven and motivated and now im stuck. I litteraly am ruining myself and my chances in life. I havent felt genuine joy ever since hocd. I miss the feeling of womanhood just being a girl. I always have been girly since i was young and i just feel thst feeling fading away everyday and i miss it so much. Just wanting to dress up and also wanting to dress up for a cute guy u know all of those normal feelings are gone and it makes me someone im completely not.

Read how many times you wrote the word "feel or feelings" - You are chasing a high. If you want to do all those things, do them anyway. It's not about what you feel like doing, it is about what you WANT to do. This morning I woke up 'feeling' super tired and I didn't 'feel' like working out. But I WANTED to do it because I know it's good for my health and I have payed money for it. I went anyway, even though I didn't feel like it - I finished the work out with a lot of effort but I am glad I did go. I taught my brain a lesson - that I can go work out even when I "feel tired". That's why you CAN go out with friends, treat yourself to something and even go do something difficult even if you don't 'feel' like it. Don't allow for the OCD to take things you love away.

I relate 100% HOCD has taken all the joy I had in being myself. I remember back when I didnt have it , everything was amazing . I had a crush, I would get excited and be all smiley when I heard his name. Now I don't have any feelings of attraction towards him and it makes me sad and anxious

I know and that something i wish i could do but its like the feelings i lost are traded with bad feelings, hocd feelings and now i cant enjoy the things because the feelings wont be the same, they are traded for bad feelinfs thst i dont want to expierence. I only want the food feelings back. If i still Do it i will only suffer and be triggered instead of have fun. Thats why i want the old feelings back so bad because i just want the fun not the constabt anxiety, reassuring and all that.

Good luck! ?

Thanks! U 2