- Username
- hocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Read how many times you wrote the word "feel or feelings" - You are chasing a high. If you want to do all those things, do them anyway. It's not about what you feel like doing, it is about what you WANT to do. This morning I woke up 'feeling' super tired and I didn't 'feel' like working out. But I WANTED to do it because I know it's good for my health and I have payed money for it. I went anyway, even though I didn't feel like it - I finished the work out with a lot of effort but I am glad I did go. I taught my brain a lesson - that I can go work out even when I "feel tired". That's why you CAN go out with friends, treat yourself to something and even go do something difficult even if you don't 'feel' like it. Don't allow for the OCD to take things you love away.
I relate 100% HOCD has taken all the joy I had in being myself. I remember back when I didnt have it , everything was amazing . I had a crush, I would get excited and be all smiley when I heard his name. Now I don't have any feelings of attraction towards him and it makes me sad and anxious
I know and that something i wish i could do but its like the feelings i lost are traded with bad feelings, hocd feelings and now i cant enjoy the things because the feelings wont be the same, they are traded for bad feelinfs thst i dont want to expierence. I only want the food feelings back. If i still Do it i will only suffer and be triggered instead of have fun. Thats why i want the old feelings back so bad because i just want the fun not the constabt anxiety, reassuring and all that.
Good luck! ?
Thanks! U 2
Will I ever be a girl again ? Is this just my life now ? At this point it’s just making me depressed. I feel idk who I am anymore and the person thought I was is fading completely. It hurts to see other pretty girl doing great in life like that’s what I wanted . I wanted to be a pretty girl who loved her self and did good in life . I want a husband, baby all of that shit . And I feel like this just holds me back from living up to my true potential.
All i ever wanted was a man. Now i cant even feel attracted to one. I wanna feel the attraction deeply again i want it to warm me up again and i want it to show me how beautiful life is again. I want it to glow up my days and give my life reason again. I feel like the woman jn me is killed. I wouldve never thought this would have so much impact. That it would kill my hapiness and that it would make everything grey and dull. I cant see the good in anything like this. I want to be the woman who i was supposed to be and not the one who’s blooming got interrupted by this and now feels like a dead flower instead of a blooming one. I was on my way to becoming the woman i wanted to be and who i was. I felt deepy who i wanted to be in life but i cant feel that as long as hocd is in me.
Okay so this has been on my mjnd for a while but like, every instagram model or like celebrity is always like: i have been depressed or i am depressed and life will get better and everything. But than i see the next post and its like them looking all happy partying or its a post with the caption like: i bought a new dog im sooooo happy. While i cant get it over my heart to go to a party or buy a dog while im like this. I dont wsnt to experience all the good things i always dreamed of when im not myself because it hurts. I dont know if that makes sense but its like i want to be the old version of me before hocd the careless one and the free one and then do all the fun stuff otherwise i wont enjoy it fully. I want to enjoy things fully like i used to. So i just dont get how all these people claim to be depressed but still are happy? They are like its a rainy day omg im so happy or something and jm just like, How? How are u happy. U said u were depressed if u were wouldnt u not be posting. Wouldnt you be sad 24/7. Because thats how i experience depression. So why arent they? Im just wondering like im not a depression expert and i dont know what they are feeling but i just get so jalouse like how do they get to be happy even tho theyre depressed as they claim. What are they going trough??. People always say that if u have depression and anxiety go lay in bed grab a snack grab a blanket and just chill and let the feelinggs be there but i cant chill. My mind is always on the run. I cant do any of the old stuff i did without feeling pain because im not expierencing the same feelings thst i used to get while doing the stuff. This whole post is so messy i hope Someone understands what im talking about because like depression and hocd littetaly changed everything. Eating, sleeping, breathing everything feels different and i dont wsnt to do fun stuff when i feel like this because in the back of my mind i know that if i didnt had hocd and depression i would be genuinely happy and not even thinking about anything other than the situation thst is going on and id just be focused on having fun while not even noticing it.
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