- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I personally think your doing yourself a disservice to yourself to label yourself as bi. Your not fully exposing yourself to your fear. I get it though, you really want to be free. But the only way to do that is through ERP therapy.
- Date posted
- 6y
I called myself gay for a while really believing I was gay. Turns out I’m not gay and it was the HOCD. However, telling people I was gay and receiving a reaction of warmth and acceptance made me feel less gay. Took away some of the shame. OCD uses shame as a weapon.
- Date posted
- 6y
I wrote a coming out letter to friends and family. It wasn’t deliberate therapy either. I was so in my OCD that I believed it. Afterwards, I was like, “I don’t feel gay anymore.” So confusing at first but now it makes more sense to me.
- Date posted
- 6y
I did the exact same thing a couple months ago!
- Date posted
- 6y
I would strongly advice you to get diagnosed. A proper formal treatment and therapy would be really helpful, you would not regret. Using this app, searching answers online, and pondering by yourself is temporary relief, reassurances and compulsions and you would be stuck in this loop forever. Do you want to be asking questions in this app for years and years? The sooner you begin on treatment, the faster you will see how easy it becomes to cope with it. Trust me, people have wasted their entire lives with OCD by not deciding to get diagnosed.
- Date posted
- 6y
Get in touch with a psychiatrist first and tell All your symptoms, like ALL of them. Psychiatrist will be the best to know what therapist is best for you and is also best for deciding for you if you need any meds or what meds will be best for you. Meds might sound not pleasant, but meds are really, like really helpful with OCD. At the end of the day, it is not you but your hyperactive frontal cortex that is putting you through this struggle. And meds chemically will calm your brain. Look up the difference between people with OCD brain and normal brain.
- Date posted
- 6y
Okay thank you!
- Date posted
- 6y
This is all just so confusing to me. I keep feeling like I’m lesbian but there’s no evidence of that. I’ve never wanted a relationship with a girl or anything. Yeah I think they could be really pretty and sometimes even hot. But I still never thought “Oo I wanna have sex with her, I wanna hug her and kiss her” and I’m I haven’t Ik that. Ik I can’t be lesbian. I’ve crushed on boys my whole life, wanted a boyfriend, wanted to have sex with them. All of that. But I hate that I keep questioning this.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m just so frustrated with this , I also can’t stop googling questions. When Ik it just fuels my anxiety even more. But then I think what if I’m in denial and I’m trying to not find evidence that I’m lesbian.
- Date posted
- 6y
Do you have a therapist?
- Date posted
- 6y
No. I have thought about getting one. But im afraid they’d tell me it’s not ocd.
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you been formally diagnosed?
- Date posted
- 6y
No but I have experienced thoughts like this in the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
What are you getting at? Do you think it isn’t ocd??
- Date posted
- 6y
Okay thank you, uhm what would you advice what kind of therapist I get?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
I have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality for years. I’ve dated a man, and I wasn’t really into the whole time. And since then I’ve thought that maybe I’m a lesbian because I’m attracted to women, which I know for sure. But then my brain spirals, I constantly think back ti memories with my ex, how I felt with him, I check how it makes me feel. I often google to see if other lesbians have felt similar, I ask ChatGpt over and over again. I feel like I have to be 100% certain or that im faking for attention, or thst I’ll end up with a man. I guess im wondering has anyone else felt like this ? What’s been your experience how do you manage it?
- Date posted
- 9w
Hey, I am a 19 year old girl, who have since February 2024 begun questioning if I am a lesbian. I have always LOVED boys, and have always known that I do not like women sexually, but I remember one night I got the thought “what if you like women” and I have not been able to not think about it since then. I remember I began questioning this during Covid when I was home alone in 2020, but has since then been able to be 100% that it was just a fase where I was curious, but had since then been able to talk openly about me not liking women without it triggering something. But since February I have thought about it EVERY day and every single minute of the day. I have a boyfriend of 3,5 years who I love so much, but since I began having these thoughts I cannot feel attracted to him. I need to ask him for reassurance 10+ times a day “pinky promise I’m not into women but only men” and have to ask him a certain way. I also think “oh I feel the need to look at women’s private parts and get a tangly feeling 3 or more times before I can look away cause it has to feel right. I also feel like I can’t listen to eg “I kissed a girl” or “born this way” because if I do I will feel attracted to it. Another example is that I constantly seek reassurance from Google, ChatGPT or TikTok and it is so draining because in the end I keep thinking “I don’t have a OCD diagnosis what If im in denial and is just a lesbian who is lying to me bf” I feel as im in denial just writing this. I have lived with it for a year now and is starting to question “what if I have just changed and must accept that I don’t like boys and is masculine e.g.” but the thing is, I have ALWAYS loved makeup, and loves girl stuff, but when I have these thought I can’t feel as I am in control of who I am. It makes me question myself to the point where I feel as I have to go out and be with a women because it is what my brain tells me to do. During a 5 month period in between this year the topic changed to “what if I have cheated on my bf without him knowing because I don’t remember” and I went down another dark hole. I have thrown all my clothe from that period of time out because I felt guilty and as it held “bad memories” and now I regret it because the topic has changed. But during that time I had to seek reassurance from friends “have I flirted - do u think I talked flirty or looked at them, have I done anything” and I had to have it IN writing, otherwise it wasn’t valid. I even promised God that I would not go out clubbing until New Year’s Eve at 12 am, because then he would forgive me and it would make me a not lesbian person. But it did not help a bit, the topic just changed and my “am I a leabjan” spiral started again. And it makes me so sad because why can it not just think “okay you are bisexual” NOT JUST “oh you are either heterosexual or ONLY into women” it is like my mind is afraid. So I guess my hope and question is, is there anyone who can tell if this sounds like OCD, and if I am into women. Before gaining these thoughts I was certain, and I know i don’t ONLY like women, but I can’t even be sexually active with my bf because if I think of women during it, I must get turned on by it and be a lesbian. I am so exhausted. Sorry for the long question, I am just so drained. Backstory: my family has a lot of mental illnesses on my dads side, and when I was a child I dealt a lot with having to wash my hands until they bled and crying because i did not know why I lived. I was never diagnosed.
- Date posted
- 4w
Okay so today after I woke up I had an absolutely unexpected thought about a girl, but I DIDN’T MIND IT. So all I felt that it was unexpected but I didn’t feel shame or guilt or something. I started pacing back and forth my room and it was like my brain accepted that I’m bisexual and I started getting anxious about what my family and friends will think about it then I had the thought “If I’m afraid of coming out, that means I’m actually bisexual” and I started asking ChatGPT about what is happening to me and it wrote the usual answer “That’s typical with OCD, it doesn’t mean anything” but it didn’t calm me down a bit and it was just so confusing because for about twenty minutes it was like having this certainity about being bisexual but it didn’t help I was stressing just like before. I know this means I’m not comfortable with the thought and it’s not ego-syntonic, but I wasn’t necessarily anxious about the thought just anxious in general. Then I started fantasizing about men, and it gave me anxiety too but it felt more right. I tried out how it would make me feel if I fantasized about women but all those fantasies lasted barely 3-4 seconds after that my brain just shifted to other thoughts. I can’t listen to one of my favourite songs because it’s sung by an attractive woman and I’m getting these thoughts about me liking her. I don’t understand what’s going on with me, because whenever I read a story here by someone who's struggling with SO-OCD they always write “I don’t want to be gay, I want to go back when everything was normal” but for me every time I get a similar thought it’s immediatly overshadowed by “Of course you’re bisexual, look at all these evidences, you want to be bisexual, you’re just in denial, look at these people, they are real OCD-sufferers, you don’t, you’re welcoming the thoughts, you want them, you’re not comfortable with your heterosexual identity, you always wanted women” etc. etc. It’s so confusing because all along my journey with OCD I had the certainity in myself that I like men but now I feel like I lost this and it feels like a real sexuality crisis now.
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