- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I personally think your doing yourself a disservice to yourself to label yourself as bi. Your not fully exposing yourself to your fear. I get it though, you really want to be free. But the only way to do that is through ERP therapy.
I called myself gay for a while really believing I was gay. Turns out I’m not gay and it was the HOCD. However, telling people I was gay and receiving a reaction of warmth and acceptance made me feel less gay. Took away some of the shame. OCD uses shame as a weapon.
I wrote a coming out letter to friends and family. It wasn’t deliberate therapy either. I was so in my OCD that I believed it. Afterwards, I was like, “I don’t feel gay anymore.” So confusing at first but now it makes more sense to me.
I did the exact same thing a couple months ago!
I would strongly advice you to get diagnosed. A proper formal treatment and therapy would be really helpful, you would not regret. Using this app, searching answers online, and pondering by yourself is temporary relief, reassurances and compulsions and you would be stuck in this loop forever. Do you want to be asking questions in this app for years and years? The sooner you begin on treatment, the faster you will see how easy it becomes to cope with it. Trust me, people have wasted their entire lives with OCD by not deciding to get diagnosed.
Get in touch with a psychiatrist first and tell All your symptoms, like ALL of them. Psychiatrist will be the best to know what therapist is best for you and is also best for deciding for you if you need any meds or what meds will be best for you. Meds might sound not pleasant, but meds are really, like really helpful with OCD. At the end of the day, it is not you but your hyperactive frontal cortex that is putting you through this struggle. And meds chemically will calm your brain. Look up the difference between people with OCD brain and normal brain.
Okay thank you!
This is all just so confusing to me. I keep feeling like I’m lesbian but there’s no evidence of that. I’ve never wanted a relationship with a girl or anything. Yeah I think they could be really pretty and sometimes even hot. But I still never thought “Oo I wanna have sex with her, I wanna hug her and kiss her” and I’m I haven’t Ik that. Ik I can’t be lesbian. I’ve crushed on boys my whole life, wanted a boyfriend, wanted to have sex with them. All of that. But I hate that I keep questioning this.
I’m just so frustrated with this , I also can’t stop googling questions. When Ik it just fuels my anxiety even more. But then I think what if I’m in denial and I’m trying to not find evidence that I’m lesbian.
Do you have a therapist?
No. I have thought about getting one. But im afraid they’d tell me it’s not ocd.
Have you been formally diagnosed?
No but I have experienced thoughts like this in the past.
What are you getting at? Do you think it isn’t ocd??
Okay thank you, uhm what would you advice what kind of therapist I get?
Even though I embrace something not real to me, Ocd still doesnt let me go. I try to convince myself ok i might be bi, but i still cannot get relieved. It feels like I have to act on it to prove I am really bi. The fact is that I dont want to and always feel the compulsion in my brain.
I’m constantly thinking about hocd thoughts. What if I’m gay? What if you like her? Blah blah things like that, I can’t tell if it’s ocd anymore. Like deep down I know, and some days I know all the time I’m straight. I don’t like girls, I never have. So why can’t I just get it through my head? I’m tired of it. I literally can’t tell anymore
All my life I had labeled myself as bisexual. And I was OK with that! It never really made me uncomfortable or doubt. Even know, when I think about the possibility of me being bisexual, or just straight I feel alright and normal!! I don’t have a SOCD crap attack over it! BUT when me being a lesbian is involved, that’s when my OCD explodes!! Anyone else get like that?
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