You ever listen to a recording of yourself and think wow do I actually sound sort of girly (or manly if you’re a woman)? And maybe everyone thinks so but just doesn’t want to tell me?? (Also I say the word “like” a lot which rn feels like it could point to sounding effeminate, idk.) I know it’s super shallow but geez stuff like this gets to me sometimes
Totally understand that! I have those same thoughts myself sometimes. But then I tell myself “maybe, maybe not” and that helps me move on
Same thoughts for me too
I think everyone gets this. But then with OCD so does everything else. "I hate sports. Does that make me effeminate?" "Remember that time you put a girl mates high heels on for a laugh? Was it a joke, or did I want to wear them?" "Remember when you felt nervous and couldn't pluck up the courage to take that girl home? That's a bit gay." What my OCD won't take into consideration is the 1000 crushes I had on girls growing up, or the umpteen times I took pleasure from staring at women's cleavage.
I would record my voice in an effeminate way on purpose to play out there fear and expose myself. Do “gay” things deliberately when you choose. Don’t wait for OCD. You gain some power back from OCD.
Yeah I have those thoughts
It’s actually super common to sound more “feminine” after hearing yourself in a recording/video. The reason is our vocal chords sound so deep to us as we speak but afterwards we can sound a lot like mickey mouse. There a many jokes about it on social media because especially for men we like to have a deeper voice but it’s funny how we sound nothing like when we speak. no need to worry! also in regards to your use of “like” a lot, try not to pay too much attention to it. in my last relationship my ex and I developed each others vocabulary and she obviously has far different ones than i do and i just sort of started speaking like her at one point. has nothing to do with sounding girly. you may not realize it but one you hear certain words or phrases over and over you tend to just stick with it and it means absolutely nothing.
I was trying not to think abt it and honestly inwas doing a great job until a woman came on my fyp on tiktok and said “if u think women are objectively more attractive u re not straight” and now i’m so anxious and distressed and am scared i might be comphet. When i was little i remember being obsessed with the “i cant remember to forget u” mv so i rewatched it and thought it was sensual but nothing more. Idk. She also said that if u use a fantasy to get arroused around men u might not like them. Idk anything anymore Im so tired
I actually didn't realise this til now because I just assumed it was a coping mechanism from when I was really young. But when I tend to get stressed out or overwhelmed, I'll often start talking out loud to myself (which mostly means just whispering to myself because if i spoke really loudly, my mom would hear me lol). But nowadays with my fear of being surveilled, I keep having to catch myself because it's such a habit at this point for me to whisper out loud. Especially with me trying to reason through my false memories or really bad intrusive thoughts. Another compulsion. And then I keep thinking omg did I have my phone with me when I said that. Is anyone watching me rn? What if this person (that probably doesn't even exist) thinks my thoughts are true? What would everyone else think? And then I spiral afterwards. It sucks because I feel like I'm policing myself even when I know these are all just things I'm saying out loud and they don't mean anything— they're just thoughts after all. But I have this worry that if someone overheard me or all of this was suddenly revealed, that it might change how people see me or people might hate me or think i'm a bad person. And then I worry about me being worried about that because then I ask myself would a good person be worried about this? Anyways, another long post with me waffling and rambling. Thank you for taking the time to read this ❤️🩹
I said something stupid today. Again. 😞 I’m impulsive. I speak without thinking, and then I spiral afterward, replaying every word. I want so badly to learn how to think before I speak — but I feel like I’m just not wired that way. Can people even do this? I asked my therapist. He says I overthink everything and worries that if I try to pre-edit my speech, I’ll stop talking altogether and lose confidence. He also said it’s okay to walk things back and apologize. And while that may be true, I don’t see it as a big deal if I end up more quiet — because if I can’t say something intelligent, I’d rather say nothing at all. To me, the issue isn’t overthinking — it’s not thinking clearly before I speak. Then I overthink afterward, because what I said came out clumsy, careless, or unclear. Or I confessed something I'd rather not, like that meetings lead me to spiral analyze every statement I make in a meeting. I want to sound smarter. I want to be articulate. I want to speak without feeling ashamed five minutes later. I want to exist in conversations — especially at work — without constantly having to walk things back. And when I do have to walk things back? I suck at that too. My workplace is incredibly combative and political. Everyone’s always debating something. I’m the only left-leaning person, and it’s exhausting. I feel like I need emotional armor just to open my mouth. Toastmasters? Assertiveness training? Something? If anyone has even a glimmer of a solution, please share. I will cry tears of joy. Right now, I’m stuck in a loop about something I said at work. It wasn’t terrible, but it came out wrong — and I can’t stop replaying it. I keep wondering how it was received, whether it’ll be repeated, what people think of me now. Even though I know it wasn’t a big deal, it feels huge. I lose weekends to such stress. This always happens when I let my guard down. I say something off the cuff — because I’m anxious, or trying to connect cause Im anxious, confide in a colleague. Then I remember that I dont trust my colleagues cause they differ extensively from me. So I confess that I felt sexually harassed by someone & then when my colleague responds in a sexist way. I sit there in regret. Then I spiral: Why did I say that? Why didn’t I just stay quiet? What if someone tells someone else? What if I ruined my reputation? My workplace doesn’t feel emotionally safe — it’s full of ideological tension, judgment, and values that clash with mine. I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I don’t feel like I have the right tools to cope when I say something awkward or too honest. So yeah, even though ny therapist encourages me not to monitor myself too closely, but when things like this happen, it feels like I should’ve rehearsed everything beforehand so I don't internally scream.
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