Agreeing with obsessive thoughts feels good?

I don’t want to break up with my bf, but when I think about it and say “yea it would help me,” I finally feel peace after months of ROCD, I feel like I’ll be able to breathe again, to feel better, like it’s what I need. But I also know that if I were to get into another relationship, it would be the same cycle again. It’s just I’m not even fighting this thought and feeling- it feels good for once, like I’m admitting what I really need. But again, I don’t want to. Just an hour ago I was telling him I couldn’t wait to move with him and I meant it. And now it’s like “nah it feels good to say you don’t, you’ll be free.” Why does it feel good to say? Is it because I’m giving into a compulsion (just agree with the thought since it feels “right?”)

Relationship OCD

Username: mollyyymollyyy

Date posted: 1y ago

It will feel good initially because You're removing yourself from the trigger. Been there done that. Now slowly trying to get back with the person I was dating (even as I write this my brain is like 'do you want to though' because OCD is a lil b****) but if you're like me, my anxiety reduced a little and then I felt super sad bc I'd lost out on an amazing opportunity with an amazing person. I dont have an interest in other people, I've realised I'm waiting for this person to 'save'me and actually I need to save myself. So yeah, if you can bear it, tell yourself 'OK maybe I do agree with that, might break up tomorrow' then go about your day. And tomorrow, you do the same again. You've got this. X

Username: blorboblorbo

Date posted: 1y ago

@mollyyy Thank you Molly. That’s what I’d miss most, who I am with this person- and how much opportunity for growth their is with them. Spiritually, and in other ways. They’re good for me, and I feel like I’m not ready for them, and it’s just fear talking. Lots of fear, not believing I’m lovable, and wanting to throw blessings away under the guise of “I’m too you I’ve gotta grow alone before I accept any of this.” And that’s just an error, I don’t have to, I just feel like I do. OCD is hard, but I love my person and even if they end up not being for me in the end, I want to be okay for me.

Username: izzzaeyizzzaey

Date posted: 1y ago

I did the same thing, ended up breaking up with him. I then realized that it was just a temporary feeling and I felt so guilty. I was so happy that we got back together and we've been dating for almost 4 years now. :) I'm dealing with the thoughts again and it feels so shitty, but it goes away. I'm trying not to give the thoughts so much attention, especially since he will be proposing sometime next year and we are going to move in together eventually. He is who I want to be with for the rest of my life, my rocd is trying to fight that though and I won't let it.

Username: mollyyymollyyy

Date posted: 1y ago

Exactly - I've had rocd with this person almost from the beginning (we used to date ages ago and he only wanted casual so I was super into him bc lol attachment issues) and now he's back in my life and is amazing and I know he's so sure of me, it scares me. I'm like you, I want to get better for myself but also for the chance of this because I had one month of feeling all the feels and I was so happy and content with him. Taken me a long time to realise my low sense of self worth is massively impacting me so well done on realising that for yourself. Here if you need to talk xxx

Username: blorboblorbo

Date posted: 1y ago

@mollyyy We’re in the same boat then, this has gone on since the beginning of our relationship. It is my first, he is 10 years older- people have told me to stop being so serious and have fun, and part of me wants that too. But I found my human and I found him early and that’s okay. I’ve always wanted to fit “in” and do like others my age do, and I don’t, and that is okay. And if I find out I’d be better of with someone after treatment or later, it’s okay to. I’m learning to try and be okay with uncertainty. I’m glad we bumped into each other on here :>

Username: blorboblorbo

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m not going to break up with him now- I love him, I adore him, and it’s just not even in the cards. I’ve dealt with ROCD for far too long to make a decision now.

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 1y ago

It could have become a compulsion. Try not to say anything in reply and just sit with the thoughts and feelings whenever an intrusive thought comes up.

Username: blorboblorbo

Date posted: 1y ago

@Nica I think it did. My OCD has been intense for a while now and the themes and thoughts and how I interact with them change by the hour. Right now, it feels “bad” and “not right” to say I want to be with them and choose them while I grow and heal lol. OCD is a trip lol. And I always see you in comments being supportive and informative- thank you, and good luck on your journey with OCD :>

Username: BubbaBoo12

Date posted: 3y ago

I know this is going to seem like reassurance seeking which it 100% is but I’ve been struggling on the same thought for a long time now. The thought of breaking up with my significant other has been going through my head for months now and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him but my OCD is making me feel like I have no choice to and it’s starting to make me feel like that’s my only option to happiness, it’s all starting to feel so real. Any thoughts or advice? Or anyone else go through this or something similar?

Username: cozymushroom

Date posted: 3y ago

Guys I can’t tell if I’m having a breakup urge or if this is genuine. About an hour ago I was like this is ocd and I love him. But now it feels like a genuine want to break up. I keep thinking that other people are fine when they do it. And it almost felt like relief. Is that ocd

Relationship OCD

Username: kathr

Date posted: 2y ago

rocd and break ups

i have rocd and am in a long term relationship. i have a hard time differentiating between obsessive/intrusive thoughts about my relationship comingfrom OCD and actual gut feelings. for 2 years I’ve thought that i need to break up with my partner but i usually dismiss it because i think its rocd. now im worried that it actually means i should break up but i know that after i do i’ll be obsessing whether it was the right decision … does that make sense? don’t know how to separate rocd from “real” feelings

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Agreeing with obsessive thoughts feels good?

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