POCD Urges/false attraction

@2groovy4u Yes, they just get very real sometimes to the point it feels like I’m in denial and don’t want to admit to it. I know it’s not what I truly desire because if it’s not on my mind, it’s like I wasn’t bothered about it but as soon as it comes back my OCD latches onto it again. It’s very good at convincing at worrying people.

@Lewis711 Experiencing the exact same atm

@Blumenkohl1 Thank god there’s someone out there, it’s annoying isn’t it? It’s like a constant battle.

@Lewis711 Yes it is :( my intrusive thoughts gotten worse again as well so the combination of false attraction and intrusive thoughts is so horrible😭 makes me feel like I am an evil person

@Blumenkohl1 My false attraction feel like impulses and I also mentally compulse by picturing sexual scenarios and get feelings from them which I don’t want. I’m just confused.

@Lewis711 I understand you so well! This is what I feel as well and that’s why I doubt so much and worry, then I have one or two days where it dies down all of the sudden, only to come back with weirder feelings than before😭

@Blumenkohl1 Yep, exactly that. I got into rumination trying to ask my self these questions, does this feeling mean real attraction. I get an attractive impulse and go, why was I attracted to this then I would dwell on that and only that for hours until I’d find temporary relief.

@Lewis711 Oh yeah i get that sm. I also test myself with repeating intrusive thoughts/images over and over if they came with false attraction/weird sensation until I dont respond that way anymore but if I can’t really find that relief I get so frustrated and stressed out

@Blumenkohl1 Yep, I do.

@Blumenkohl1 If feels overwhelming because it’s like you want to admit to the attraction but you keep compulsively convincing yourself over and over that you aren’t. For example, if I get this attraction, I simply push it away and think of girls my age. (16) or older.

@Lewis711 That’s what I desire.

@Lewis711 Yeah I totally get that compulsion tho. I try to convince myself that this isnt real by repeatedly thinking of kids/scenarios where I am friendly with them but there’s still this feeling lingering until it doesn’t but sometimes it doesn’t faint that quickly or it keeps lingering everytime I get an intrusive thought or if I ruminate again ugh

@Blumenkohl1 I know, I was sat ruminating before and out of the urges, admitted to liking them due to the feelings they were giving me but as soon as I did I went into full rumination like why did I just get that feeling as if I truly like them, am I in denial? I know what I generally desire but it’s like this feeling in the back of your mind and in your chest. I also got the urge to research again.

@Lewis711 Oh yeah I get that feeling. I had this feeling all day, lingering in the back and as soon as I started ruminating it got worse or if I got an intrusive thought it came with such a crazy feeling in my chest and felt so convincing and made me ruminate for hours