- Username
- Ocdsuxs
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Textbook HOCD. Ignore the thoughts, don’t fight them, the more you resist it persists. Let them flow through you, they are just thoughts, nothing more nothing less. Thoughts are NOT our true inner desires when you have OCD, but me saying that will make you doubt you have HOCD, which in itself is a symptom of HOCD. Say “Thanks for the thought brain” and move on with your day. It’s hard, but the more you practice, it’ll start to fade away.
I hope this helps and it's not triggering, but I'm a girl and every now and then I'll notice a girl that looks attractive. But the thing is, our minds are drawn to pretty things. Attraction does not equal sexual attraction. I can be "attracted" to a lamp, but that doesn't mean I want to have babies with it lol. It just means I think it looks nice. And I used to have HOCD, how I got over it was by what he had said. (Although my HOCD isn't as severe as my current OCD) but I was able to tell myself, "she looks nice" and move on. So now years later when I get those thoughts I simply acknowledge them and don't worry about it. Because he's right, they are just thoughts and they don't mean anything. I know it can be difficult, but keep reminding yourself "thoughts are just thoughts" that's CBT and it helps ?
Yes they just thoughts however difficult. I get hocd thoughts and I treat them like a suicidal thoughts I get from time to time. I dont need to act on it. The calmer I stay the less it bothers me. The fear reaction tells our brain the thought is important so it keeps sending it back to us.
If I see another guy and think he's attractive thats ok. Im human and no need to read into it. Ive met guys before and we hit it off immediately and had chemistry. One time it was one of my girlfriend at the times male friends and she made fun of me for having a bromance
Sometimes I see beautiful little girl and think they are attractive, doesnt mean I want to try and marry them
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
I seriously have never thought about girls until now. It just never crossed my mind. I never liked or had feelings for a girl. And now that I’m constantly questioning everything and picturing everything. It just feels like I like it. It scares me, would I be happy with a girl ?? I don’t want to be with a girl but I feels like I do want this. It’s so confusing. I can’t tell whether this is actually ocd or I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex. I hate this so much !!! It’s like I just completely lost myself and questioned it so much I’ve just become lesbian but some things just don’t make sense. Why would I catch feelings for other boys? Never girls. I don’t know anymore. I’m happy with my boyfriend. Without these thoughts I’d be so good and so much more happy. Now I just don’t fucking know and this hurts so damn bad that I can’t just rest not one day. This is so damn stressful and hurtful to question your identity every single day. Sometimes I seriously just feel like I’m lesbian but I can’t seem to settle on that because I just can’t be. I want to just die. I hate what my mind is doing to me. I hate I have to go through these thoughts alone. I hate everything. I just want to crawl in a hole and never see anyone. I just want to hug my boyfriend and have my thoughts erased. I’ve thought too much and too deep I can’t stop. I’m crying from sadness because I don’t know what’s real anymore and I never in a million years thought this is something I’d have to deal with.
Please someone help me. I feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I don’t have ocd. It’s too real. The intrusive thoughts aren’t as frequent, I don’t have anxiety or do compulsions. I’m not even against the thoughts anymore. I can’t explain how real it feels. It can’t be ocd and the thing is I just don’t want to like girls. That’s it. I just don’t want to. But that sounds like I’m resisting my sexuality and it feels like this too. I’m sorry to everyone on this app but I don’t think I’m like u anymore. If things like internalised homophobia and comphet didn’t exist then I’d know I was straight but they do so now I think I’m just that. I don’t want to marry a girl or have sex with one or anything. I want to be straight and just fucking live my life. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I haven’t had a crush on a boy for years even though my ‘ocd’ started in the summer. I’ve had loads of male celebrity crushes that I’ve felt like I’ve loved and I don’t understand how those could’ve been fake but they must have been. Compulsions don’t comfort me I just watch tv to distract myself and that’s it. I can’t do this shit anymore. I don’t want to like girls but I have to be either bi or lesbian. Please I just want to be straight I don’t get it.
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